onelovestory – old testament

for archive purposes (comments on this are for another time)

This is the story as written by Lee – aka burnweed

(publishing this does not mean i endorse it)
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Author’s Note

I am writing this note on Saturday, October 5, 1996. ONELOVESTORY is an ongoing work. “The Old Testament,” was written in May-July 1995. You will be reading that shortly and embarking upon a very strange journey.

I did not write ONELOVESTORY. The book came through me, transformed me, and now there is no me. I no longer consider myself to be of this world. I am now in Spirit, and Spirit is in me. I am whole. However, while writing “ONELOVESTORYThe Old Testament” (TOT), I was not whole. I was changing, and the thing that was changing me was ONELOVESTORY. But, I was stuck somewhere in between worlds. I felt the stunning presence of the Spirit as She fed me answers and insights into the world of The Stone Roses. I knew something incredible was going down, and that was my inspiration for writing the book to begin with—–the mystery of GOD was being revealed to me through the Stone Roses and I became on fire with the desire to tell you all about it. But, at that time, I was still battling my ego and the persona that was Lee D’Onofrio. As a result of that internal conflict, I was caught in between being awake and being asleep. The rambling and often incoherent nature of TOT is a testament in itself to where I was at.

I felt something so awesome, and there was some actual proof in the form of lyrics, artwork and other assorted clues. But there really wasn’t all that much, certainly not enough to convince many people of the book’s veracity.

In retrospect I can see that now. But while writing TOT, I was on fire with faith. It seemed so obvious to me and I couldn’t wait to tell you about it. I also couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I wasn’t supposed to. I was supposed to be in a frenzy over the small amount of things She (SHE=Love=Spirit) showed me. At all times I felt like what I was writing was going to blow your doors off and make you see what I saw. But some of us see things you’ll never see, and I couldn’t come to terms with that while writing TOT. I wanted everyone to believe me and in me. When I was faced with sarcasm or doubt, I often came lashing back with a forked tongue and I lost energy while trying desperately to make people see what I saw. There were many arguments and disputes in alt.music.stone-roses, the Roses newsgroup where I wrote TOT. Looking back now, I can see that we were all used by HER. She wanted those arguments to take place because they kept the juices flowing and people were excited by the zeal being exhibited. That excitement helped spread the word. However, those days are over, and I no longer care what anybody thinks about this. It’s there for whoever wants it. It’s free, and so am I. Take what you want from it, but understand that I am no longer trying to “convince” anyone of anything. All will be revealed within and without ONLS.

“ONELOVESTORY:The Old Testament,” was written on faith. “ONELOVESTORY:The New Testament” is written on knowledge. I can see why SHE had it done like this. I spiritually grew up and graduated within the pages you are about to read. TOT is me in my spiritual youth, doing battle with my own ego, and trying to make everything clear and convincing to you. But I didn’t have the power to move mountains back then. And so, TOT is often confusing, contradictory, unstable, and plain wrong. However, there is much truth within it, interesting stories, insanity, drugs, sex, rock and roll, a fantastic soundtrack, and some very deep revelations about the Spirit, Love and The Stone Roses. What it isn’t, is…..terribly convincing. It wasn’t supposed to be. It was a wind up for you and me. It was a set up for the real heavy artillery that can be found in ONELOVESTORY: The New Testament (TNT).

TNT is very different from TOT. TNT was written after I became whole and as a result, TNT is POWERFUL. It is THE TRUTH and it is the reason I walk the Earth in human form. I united with HER while writing it, and that is why it is what it is.

TOT was written without regard for spelling or grammar. I was new to the internet when I wrote it and didn’t know how to write offline, so I just wrote the whole thing online from AOL. I didn’t check it or edit it at all, I just hit “send” when I was done writing and I would read it later after it was officially printed in the newsgroup.

TNT has been carefully thought out, researched and organized. It flows better, it is accurate, it is POWERFUL, and it is true.

There are no mistakes in either book. Spirit wanted the first one to be exactly the way it is, so you could witness the transformation I have undergone while writing it.

I was told to take my time with TNT, I was told by Spirit, but SHE used OASIS to let me know I had to be patient and think this thing out. All of that will be explained later. Suffice it to say, Oasis told me that I needed to take some time to wake up, and I did.

Enjoy the trip, leave your judgements at the door. You can read the book like it’s a work of fiction if you like but it isn’t. It’s no more a fiction than the fact that you are 99.99999% empty space. You don’t feel like vapour, but you are and Quantum science has proved that. It’s just one of the many illusions this world is made of…

ONE LOVE STORY – In the Beginning

A few words on art, some background and then the story really gets out there. One other thing, don’t at any point, even begin to think that you know where I am going even when it seems obvious. Don’t make that mistake, because I promise you, this mother twists and turns all the way to the end, which hasn’t even happened yet.

The basic necessity of art is to further creation. We cannot do that if we stick to safe formats. We must, as human beings, stretch the boundaries, because when we do, we find truth. We pave the way for tomorrow’s dreamers who will exclude the word “impossible” from their language.

Every great work of art started with a thought first. A “What if…,” so to speak. If the thought is unusual its chances of survival are diminished. It takes courage, confidence and imagination to destroy established boundaries. Our society doesn’t encourage original thought, and that is perhaps its greatest sin. If we stretch the boundaries as artists, we do our part by setting an example to the rest of the world, and the future, that anything is possible. There are no limits, no ceilings, no oppression we can’t overcome, no disease we can’t cure and no end to the joy we can experience. We don’t have to settle if we believe in ourselves and die trying to realize our dreams. The movement towards the goal must be honoured as much as the achievement itself so that we continually encourage those who would otherwise accept impossibility.

We have been given something no other species (that we know of) has, the ability to create new ideas and shape them into reality. A thought presents itself. A seed is planted. The seed, nurtured by adrenalin and intelligence, grows into a vision. The vision is moulded into a pregnant shape which gives birth to a new dimension of art. The seed of artistic creation only germinates when the planting ground is fertile. I see this gift being taken for granted. If I’m wrong, show me the masterpieces we will leave in our wake. Where are our generation’s Beatles, Dali’s and Deniro’s.

And with that, the story begins. Let’s go back to 1989. I first heard “I Wanna Be Adored at a Long Island nightclub called 007. I began to hear it often on WDRE, a commercial alternative station also in Long Island. I liked the song, I didn’t love it but it stood out. The first time I heard Fool’s Gold I was watching 120 minutes and the VJ introduced the Stone Roses saying it was their follow up to “I Wanna Be Adored.”

I hardly payed attention to the song because it had a House/Funk type groove and I hadn’t broadened my horizons musically yet. I was still very much, snobbishly into bands like the Smihts, Eco and the Bunny men and The Jesus and Mary Chain. However, while the song didn’t really hit me that time, the band did. I watched them just walking through the desert, strolling along, and something made me gawk at them. I was enthralled. They were different. What else can I say?

After the video ended I was confused. I still am. You know what I mean? The next time I heard “Fools Gold” was at 007, and I was dancing. Immediately, on that huge sound system, it sounded fucking awesome. I distinctly remember getting totally into it and not realizing it was them until it was almost over.

The next day I went out and bought the CD at Tower records in Manhattan. I got through Waterfall thinking that every fucking song was better than the next. I had to go out and therefore I didn`t get to listen to the rest of the CD. I lost that CD shortly thereafter and I didn’t hear The Stone Roses again for about six months.

I graduated law school in June 1990 and took a job at a law firm in New Jersey. I moved home with my parents, bought a fucking Saab convertible ( this was very important to me at the time, what an asshole) and began my career. I found a very cool club to go to in New Brunswick called The Melody Bar. A guy by the name of Mat Pinfield was the DJ and he had a profound influence on me. I began taking magic mushrooms and going to the Melody. Mat was playing all Manchester stuff every Friday night and the music was incredible but the Roses were the best. Listening to them on Mushrooms put me in LaLa land and I’ve been there ever since….once I heard them on Ecstasy I was looking down on Heaven which was far below. I don’t use Ecstasy anymore, I get higher without it, but it was an experience I wouldn’t trade.

Everything about the roses intrigued me. They looked great, their interviews were mysterious, their lyrics suggested that they were onto something the rest of us could only guess at…and we did guess often. The amazing thing is that after all this time, many new things are revealed to me listen after listen. The liner notes to “The Complete Stone Roses” pretty much capture the mood.

I was convinced that there was a secret mystery hidden among those metaphors and messianistic connotations. And their refusal to speak about the lyrics was fuel for the imagination. “Made of Stone” was an exception and I will come back to that later.

I became ridiculously obsessed with the idea that The Stone Roses were up to something. I know it sounds silly, I mean what could they be up to right? It’s just tunes right? I didn’t buy it though. I know the drugs and Marijuana were making me fixate on them, and I realized all along that I was losing touch with reality, but it felt safe. It felt a hell of a lot safer to go crazy with them than stay normal with the predatorial world of normalcy that was my life.

The obsession grew and grew. What the fuck were they talking about? None of their songs made any sense yet they were perfect. We all sat around listening and trying to decipher the message and somehow apply it to our lives. Whatever they mean to you IS the truth. This story is what they meant to me.

One evening while in a very heightened state of awareness, I was listening to “Something’s Burning” on the headphones and I was able to make out for the first time that Ian says “I am the Vine and you are the Branches.” I remembered that from the Bible and I began to think that maybe the New testament held some of the answers I had been looking so hard for regarding their lyrics. For instance, I always wondered what the title “Something’s Burning” had to do with the rest of the song. It didn’t seem to have anything to do with the lyrics until I read the passage from the sermon of the vine and the branches, John 15:5 to 6:

I am the vine, you are the branches.

If a man remains in me and I in him,

he will bear much fruit; apart from me

you can do nothing. If anyone does not

remain in me, he is like a branch that

is thrown away and withers; such branches

are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

Well they solved one small mystery for me…the title, which seemed to have nothing to do with the song, now had everything to do with it. It s the essence of waste that is this physically infatuated world.

I decided to read the New testament to see if it would shed anymore light on their other songs. I started with the Gospel of John and I found numerous clues and answers. The next one was obvious to everyone, John 11:25:

I am the Resurrection and I am the Life.

The next one I found was not that obvious at all, John 7:37-39:

If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the scripture has said, streams of living WATER will FLOW within him. By this he meant the spirit.

Now think about “One Love” and compare, “you feel my FLOW and you FLOOD my brain….”. Ok now think about “anytime you want me, anytime at all, anytime you need me, all you gotta do is call” and compare it to the first sentence. quoted above. Now think about “by this he meant the spirit” and compare it to ” show me your vision your wild APPARITION.”

At this point it’s hard to deny that there pursuing a purposeful theme. You can argue that it’s accidental but, I give the Roses more credit than that. At this juncture, I have not solved any big mystery or uncovered any plot, but I have found out where they are coming from at least. I felt, deep inside me, that they weren’t just rewriting the Gospel of John. I smell something burning, and so I dig deeper….and poke harder. (I ran out of space but the rest of this chapter should be posted at the same time as this.)

The next one didn’t seem important at first, “do me anyway the wind blows,” from “What the World is Waiting For” is also a quote from Jesus, but I cannot find the citation. It is definitely from the New Testament. The title of the song really has me thinking now. What is the world waiting for? The question kept repeating Itself.

The next one is very subtle, and it takes an inference to make it work. Once you make that inference and apply it to a few other puzzling lyrics, when added together the direction they are heading starts to reveal itself. Follow me for a moment. John 14:15-17 states:

If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counsellor to be with you forever-the Spirit of truth.

I know that doesn’t seam to reveal anything wonderous but also examine John 16:7-8:

Unless I go away, the counsellor will not come to you: but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes he will CONVICT the world of guilt.

Jesus is talking about the Second Coming here, of course that record is five years away, but now it seems so clear. However, the clue I am talking about is in “Waterfall.” Waterfall always hit me as being VERY spiritual but I never knew what the fuck they were talking about. The following line gives it away… “The scales are in her hands.” The scales of justice. This obviously harkens to….”[H]e will convict the world of guilt.” The gender issue will be explained fully later. I know it takes an inference but suspend judgement and let’s look at a couple of other lyrics which totally make sense in this light. “What the World is Waiting For” is something as powerfully loving as what the second coming stands for. It’s obvious that we are killing ourselves over “Fool’s Gold,” the flipside of that release.

Keeping this in mind let’s look at “One Love” again. The following lyric always made me wonder if they were singing about drugs, but I made that mistake one too many times, they were not singing about drugs…….they were never that shallow…….”what goes up must come down.” The Second Coming. John 16:16:

“In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me.”

At this point I know I am on to it. I am really excited. The Roses are constantly referring to Jesus and more so the Second Coming. Now it seems blatantly obvious. But that still doesn’t seem so spectacular, I mean, so what, right? They are singing about the Second Coming, so maybe they are religious. Recently Ian Brown was quoted as saying that he believes the Bible is real so this makes sense. He also believes in the spirit and that was the essence of Jesus’ teachings, that one should accept the Spirit. So it all makes perfect sense.

I wasn’t satisfied though, I was sure that there was much more to this mystery and there certainly is……

To be continued in Chapter Two, The Parable of The Weed

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CHAPTER 2: Parable of the Weed

To start this chapter I want to draw your attention to the Mindtrip interview. Right after the part about Bono, the sound goes off for a second and you can hear Ian saying something about sitting around with his Bible looking at pictures and fining convenient quotes. If you have the interview check it out now before you go any further.

Ok, from where we left off in the last chapter, I then began to research their lyrics even harder. I took my one vacation week and did nothing but study the songs. The new revelations I had discerned fed my fire so to speak. I was on a mission.

Here are a couple of obvious ones: “I’m throwing stones at you man…” from Bye Bye Badman. In John 7:7 Jesus tells the people to check themselves before they throw stones. This is interesting because Ian is throwing stones at someone in the song, and if he is throwing stones, schooled as he is in the New testament, than he is obviously passing judgement on the person he is throwing stones at. The Bad man is either his evil side, and/or evil in society.

From “Where Angels Play”…..”the seeds are sewn.” There are two separate references for this in the new testament, the first is obvious, Matthew 13 is the parable of the sower. I think everyone is fairly familiar with that so let me move on to John4:27 to 38. In that passage the disciples ask Jesus if he is hungry and he tells them that he has food they know nothing about, his food is to spread the word of Love. I am going to quote from that, and as you read that quote think of ‘Waterfall” and “One Love.” Specifically recall, “…so good to have equalized, to lift up the lids of your eyes” and “to steal what she never could….” From “One Love” just think of the message….”one love, one heart, and one soul, WE can have it all, easy easy” also ..”.ANYTIME you want me, ANYTIME at all, ANYTIME you need me, all you’ve got to do is call………………

Do you not say, “four months more and then the harvest? I tell you, OPEN YOUR EYES and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now (ANYTIME) the reaper draws his wages, even now (ANYTIME) he harvests the crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. (ONE LOVE) Thus the saying, ONE sews and another reaps is true. I sent you to reap what you have not worked for (…to steal what she never could own) Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.

I was starting to go batty, I mean, here are all these references or at least I think they are purposeful references, but I can’t be sure. So I keep digging and I keep coming up with things. All along I have to keep telling myself that there is something there, and that the Roses aren’t just quoting the bible over and over and over again with no concept. At times I just wanted to bag it all, and I would try to tell myself that it was coincidence. But there comes a point where the likelihood of coincidence becomes more incredible than the actual possibility of something shattering.

I would have been more confident, but one thing kept getting in the way. What was really stopping me from moving forward was the gender references. They were fucking me up: “SHE’s a waterfall”, “SHE bangs the drums” SHE doesn’t care for my despair” (from Mersey Paradise) “from the plans that SHE has made,” this is the one SHE’s waited for. (From “This is the One” my favorite Roses song, which I have never heard them play live on any bootleg. I now promise you that when they accept, and we play in Manchester, Dandelion Fire will encore with “THIS IS THE ONE.” If they won’t play it live, we will, and it will be the best song we play that night! You have it on a promise.)

I must now turn you away from the gender bender for a moment, but we will come back to it shortly. Please follow me, I am going to talk about Jesus for a while, but I promise you that i am going to link everything I say and quote to The Stone Roses. Additionally, I want you to have this background on Jesus so that you will think about him in a new light as you read the rest of this story. He wasn’t at all like the Chi=urch would have you believe. He was radical in all of the best ways.

There is mucho historical evidence that Jesus spoke in a strange figurative manner, a code if you will, the confusing parables are a good example, but those were not the only curve balls he threw. He was secretive for two reasons:

1)people learn things better when you make them THINK about stuff. If you have no choice, than you explain in detail. But that is not the best way to teach.

2)He spoke in code because his message was radical for the times, radical to the established Jewish doctrines. Jesus was a hippie, he lived and studied in a mystical commune. He was an “Essene”. The Essenes were also known as “the Seers,” “The Mysterious Ones:” A book called “The Lost Years of Jesus Revealed, by Dr. Charles Francis Potter, discusses the historical background of Jesus without the politically influential slant of the Catholic Church.

The new Jesus appearing at last out of the various clouds of unknowing is surprising even those who have long hoped for some such second coming of the Son of man…Careful study of the Essene scrolls [the dead Sea scrolls, Qumran scriptures] reveals him to have been not only well versed in the knowledge and culture of Rome, Persia, Athens, and Alexandria, a wide traveller, and a great teacher, but also an original, independent thinker, and a dedicated existential empiricist, (in the midst of absolutists) ever deliberately seeking new truth by observation, and experiment.

Id. at 10.

Jesus had no chance of teaching anybody anything if he didn’t talk about GOD, the Father. Had he not talked about GOD in this way it would have been blasphemous, and they would have never given him a chance to accomplish anything. But there is ample proof which now illustrates that Jesus was playing a part, he was acting the role of the Messiah as it was written in the Old Testament. He knew every bit of the Old testament inside out, and he didn’t fulfill the prophecies by accident. On numerous occasions it says in the New testament(NT) that “this was done to fulfill the prophecy” etc. His actions were self serving. For instance, riding into Jerusalem on a donkey. That was planned. It was written in the Old Testament the Messiah would come on a donkey.

There are also many published theories which convincingly illustrate the idea that Jesus survived the crucifixion. It was a plan. You can read “Jesus Lived in India” and “the Jesus Conspiracy” if you are interested in learning more.

“Scenes people play, the hills as old as time.” Waterfall

Back to the gender problem. It was igniting huge forest fires of doubt that there was a concept, or at least that I could prove that there was one. All of these songs could be explained away as love songs to a girl.

I erased the confusion by dilligent messianistic research. A book published in 1986 called “The Messianic Legacy” by Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh & Henry Lincoln, mentioned the historical fact that Jesus and his cohorts referred to the Holy Spirit as female. God was called the Father, but the spirit was SHE. The evidence is clear in the apochryphyal book “Acts of Thomas, ” that the spirit was considered to be female and that Jesus had “a hidden word” or code. The apochryphal texts were left out of the “official” Roman version of the NT because of politics, but these texts illustrate a purer vision of Jesus’ teachings and mysteries than do the “politically correct” NT gospels. Indeed whole books have been written on this subject so I don’t really want to go into detail. You could read the book I just mentioned or any number of books listed in it’s bibliography. In “The Acts of Thomas” there is the following notation which was pointed out in “The Messianic Legacy, and it speaks about Judas Thomas, who was allegedly Jesus’ twin brother:

“Twin brother of Christ, apostle of the most high, and fellow initiate into the hidden word of Christ, who dost receive his secret sayings…” Id. at 85

Jesus didn’t believe in God the Father. According to Jesus, you could only reach the father by accepting the Holy Spirit, SHE. The spirit is what Jesus calls on to make miracles occur. Mother Universe. If you re-evaluate those songs with this in mind, they start to sound like sermons and parables. And besides, did you think they were writing silly love songs? “God, the Father” was a front, a metaphor for the afterlife.

There is an excellent book on Jesus code titled, “What Jesus Taught In Secret,” by Max Freedom Long. In it the author effectively proves that Jesus never believed there was a father, and that Jesus connected with the Spirit, which is also seen here to be feminine, just by having belief and CALLING on it.

The Essenes set up their commune’s as a result of the failure of Government to provide a proper framework of caring guardianship:

…..[T]he Essenes novel approach to religion was linked into an equally revolutionary social setup. It was really a new form of social order, an ideal cooperative commonwealth in miniature… Doubtlessly, the new social organization of these Essene centers was due to the recognized failure of the old Monarchy.

There is a certain empire in existence which houses a monarchy and calls itself British. Let’s listen in on Ian Brown and that French journalist for a few momnets:

Journalist= J Ian=I

J: Talking about [England], talking about, if we can call it brainwashing. Hanging the people on their sort of repression. Is it sort of hypochrisy when the media in this country is putting down headlines on the front page like all those people from east Berlin are coming to freedom, a world of freedom.

I: (snarling) Yeah.

J: I mean it’s ridiculous.

I: Yeah. I mean it’s lies isn’t it? It’s not a free world is it? (angry now) It’s not a free society, you’re not even allowed to say exactly what you want. You can get locked up for it. (Disgusted)> We’ve got a Monarchy, which makes us like a toy town, we’ve got a family that we’re paying to keep in riches, while …..the subjects sleep in cardboard boxes.

“My aim is true, my message is clear, it’s curtains for you, Elizabeth my dear.”

Don’t jump to any conclusions just yet. Just let it all seep in and realize that there are MANY parallels. Now back to the music. She Bangs the Drums” has a second coming reference in it…”How could it ever come to pass.”

“Elephant Stone” also has a “John” reference, “Rooms are empty, I’ve got plenty, you could move in right away. Examine John14:2-4,

“In my father’s house there are many rooms; if it were not so I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will COME BACK and take you to be with me…..”

This is a blatant second coming reference. Plus it makes sense compared to the song, Jesus is going to prepare a room for everybody, you can move in right away.

At this point I felt as if I had a minor line on the concept. In some way it dealt with the Second Coming. I was still a doubting Thomas because I couldn’t figure out the reason they would be so concerned with the topic. So concerned that they were systematically inserting these references into songs where they were almost certain not to be found. But maybe, considering the psychedelic nature of the band, they thought an obsessed fan, with a chemically opened mind would find them…Fuck, I didn’t know what to make of it but I saw it there just as you can see it now.

After hours of scrutiny I hit upon an idea, and jumped to an erroneous conclusion. For a whole day I patted myself on the back thinking I had figured it out, and it seemed so simple. Ian Brown singing, “I am the resurrection,” the almost contrived arrogance of the band, the demeanor, the lack of respect for any other rock music of the time period……the Stone Roses’ concept, as I saw it, was that they were the Second Coming.

I was sort of depressed after I figured it out because I realized that it was so obvious, and that other people had probably figured it out a lot quicker than me, and they probably hadn’t lost a week’s vacation doing it. I felt like a big dick actually.

I will never forget the next day. It was a Friday, and I was going to take some Ecstasy and go to the Melody where Mat Pinfield was spinning, and he played all Manchester stuff on Friday nights. I had some pure E and I was supposed to get a ride from a friend so I took a hit before he got to my house. An hour later as it is really starting to kick in, my friend calls and tells me his car is busted. I couldn’t get another ride so I just stayed home with my headphones.

Please add the following quote to the quote from “The Acts of Thomas.”

….And again, even more explicitly, in an invocation to the Holy ghost (which significantly enough is feminine): Come Holy Spirit…Come, Hidden Mother.”

“The Messianic Legacy” at 85.

Before I continue with the events of that night, I would like to make a comparison between Jesus’ purposeful usage of confusion as a device, and the Stone Roses. this should have been included in an earlier version of this Chapter, but I am getting punchy, and I should really get some sleep.

Consider John 16:25:

“Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language…”

Now I want you to consider the affair you have had with the Roses’ lyrics through the years and up until the present. Think about why you cannot ever be sure of the meanings of the songs. Apart from two or three explanations that John Squire has given, they never discuss lyrics, and after six years we are all still finding new lyrics and new meanings for those lyrics….but we are only guessing, and that is strange considering how blatantly obvious everyone else’s lyrics seem in comparison. I would compare and contrast lyrics of the Roses with other bands, but you don’t need that kind of convincing.

It is also common knowledge to us that Ian Brown often says things on stage, in interviews and in personal conversation, which people have trouble understanding. For instance, “who is and who isn’t” from the Blackpool video. Now back to the night of Ecstasy. I put on the Roses first record as I was peaking. “Shoot You Down” came on and in that blissful state, an incredible thought came to me. A “what-if” so to speak, of massive proportions. What if the Roses weren’t calling themselves the Messiah, but they were trying to find the Messiah, to either wake him up, if he existed, or inspire someone through their beautiful music to become the Messiah!!!!!

I feel the need to tell you to suspend judgement once again, and try to understand me. Don’t fight it feel it. You can go back to your old skeptical selves later. Just try to get inside my head. I know it’s scary in there, and the wide open spaces may frighten you, but hold onto your chair, chew some gum, or whistle dixie naked. It doesn’t really matter, just stay with me.

Ian Brown has been quoted a number of times as saying he believes the Bible is real deal, and the Koran too. The Roses playing the Messiah as a concept was just too obvious. THEY WERE NEVER OBVIOUS.

The mystery started all over again, and as I began to consider the possibility, I found it compelling that almost all of the references came from the gospel of John. That made me examine John Squire a little closer. Squire, Squire, Squire….a squire is a messenger….a messenger could be a prophet. I considered this and came to the conclusion that The Stone Roses might be playing the role of modern prophets sent to talk about and/or find the modern messiah. The song which really made me believe this outrageous proposition possible is “Shoot You Down”

“You know it, you show it, and the time has come to shoot you down what a sound, when the day is done and it all works out, I’d love to do it and you know you’ve always had it coming.”

Put this together with “what goes up must come down” and “bang, bang pretty pretty, bang bang,” from “Where Angels Play.” The lines were becoming clearer. I was tripping so hard, and the feelings I had, cannot be described in words. The idea, whether it was true or not true, was absolutely gorgeous….I cried. Think what you will, but these guys, instead of writing about sex, drugs and rock and roll, instead of writing about depression, instead of writing about any number of topics that are repeated day in and day out…were going for the impossible as their concept. Through the majestic beauty of their songs, maybe even knowing many people would be using psychedelic drugs and listening, they were SUBLIMINALLY sending out signals to anyone, hoping that someone would pick up on the concept and answer the messenger’s cry for help. If their was a Messiah they were going to find that person, and if there wasn’t a Messiah, they were going to put the idea in someone’s head, and therefore create one, as an artistic concept.

To me, the idea was the greatest idea in the history of art. Don’t judge it, suspend judgement, and just think about how I felt at that moment. Try to feel it, go back to the intro I wrote and read it over…DO IT NOW!

As I started to come down a little, I put “Sally” on and when I heard “All Across The Sands” I nearly exploded with joy, as the E hit me in that spot in my stomach and warm radiating waves of Ecstasy engrossed me, if you’ve done it you know that feeling all to well:

Can you hear it calling (FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Do you feel warmer (moaning in blissful agreement)

As the hired hand’s exposed

After HER call

After HER call

After HER call

And SHE calls

The roses are the hired hand, they aren’t the Messiah but they are his attendant, his valet, his WAKE UP CALL! At that moment their secret was EXPOSED. Don’t fight me off, just see what I see, get into it, it’s a beautiful thing, it’s a beautiful feeling.

I felt love for the world for the first time in my life. Mark that moment as the first moment I felt love for anything but myself… EVER. There wasn’t enough love in me, and there “isn’t enough love in the world. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF THAT SOUNDS CORNY OR NOT. It’s the truth.” (Ian Brown, from the mindtrip interview)

I thought about that lyric and realized that I had missed something in the Bible, it completely went over my head until that moment. I ran to my Bible, went right to John and found the following passage, John 10:12:

THE HIRED HAND is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. then the wolf attacks the flock and SCATTERS it (scattered all across the sands). The man runs away because he is

a HIRED HAND and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd…..

In the passage, the hired hand also becomes exposed. Let me ask you a question now. Do YOU hear it calling? Are you feeling warmer? 🙂

“Fool’s Gold came on and I thought of them walking through the desert, and I thought of John Squire, the messenger, Squire=messenger, John the Baptist=JohnSquire. Most everything was from the gospel of John…there was a reason for that, it was a clue in itself, John’s name is a Goddam clue, them walking through the desert is a clue, John 1:23

I am not the Christ….I am the voice of one calling in the DESERT. Make straight the way of the Lord.

Ok let’s now go to a song that John Squire explained in detail, “Made of Stone.”

“Made of Stone is about making a wish and watching it happen.” John Squire.

Not just any fucking wish….THE ULTIMATE WISH….the impossible, outrageous, most preposterous wish, something so unreal “like scoring the winning goal in a cup final…on a Harley Electroglide…dressed as Spiderman!”

Their wish was my command. I decided to be the Messiah to their John the Baptist. I decided that the idea was just too beautiful to pass up. I was crying so hard, and so happily. “All across the Universe” by The Beatles comes to mind. “Tears of Joy” were flowing heavily…what a feeling. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I knew I had to. Success was a long ways away, if it ever was to come. But what if, what if, what if, I could pull it off?

My life started over on that day, and I set out to start a band. I couldn’t play any instruments and my voice was always terrible, but I made up my mind to do it, and here i am. I felt a calling, I felt like my life was going to be good, and i felt the fucking Earth move under me when I felt the stunning presence of the spirit. For the first time I had faith, and it got me high, REAL HIGH. I was tripping hard already. Let’s just say I went up, and I haven’t come down. So I guess you could say, what goes up doesn’t necessarily have to come down once you have faith, true faith.

As I pondered the awesomeness of the idea, my faith was put to the test almost immediately. After the initial euphoria slowed down a bit, I started to question my decision. I thought about my career and the fact that I had ZERO talent, and nobody to play music with, my age, all that crap. I was scared all of a sudden. I replayed the “Sally” CD as I thought this thing through. “Here it Comes” filled up my empty sails, and blew away the brick, the stone part of me died during this song:

“I’m not so sure and yet I know give me your life, it’s worthless anyhow”

The name Dandelion Fire comes from two places in “Matthew.” I was enthralled by the “The Parable of The Weeds,” Matthew 13:24 to 30, because it talks about weeds growing among “fields of wheat,” like in Elephant Stone. The owner of the fields sowed good seeds of wheat one day, but at night his enemy came and sowed weeds. When the wheat sprouted, weeds came up with it and the man’s servant asked if he should pull them up. The owner was afraid that they would also pull out the good wheat so he told them to wait until the harvest at which point the harvesters would:

“…collect the weeds and tied them in bundles to be burned.”

I thought of calling the band Burnweed at this point because of it’s double meaning regarding the Bible and Marijuana, but it had no finesse. It didn’t sound like anyone would ever take a band seriously with that name so I bagged it. I also wanted a two word name like the Roses with a flower in it and “Burn Weed” was just not even an option. I tried to get the guys to go for a few names that were inspired by the bible but they didn’t like any of them. Eventually, after mutual thought, we all settled on “Daisy Chain.” I was ok with it because it had two words and a flower so I was safe on the concept tip, but I was never happy with it because it had no Bible reference. Luckily, I found out that there were a few other bands with that same name so I went back to the drawing board.

I tried “Dandelion Burn,” but that didn’t work obviously so I consulted my Bible and hit paydirt with Matthew 3:11-12. In it John the baptist is once again telling people that he is not the Christ. John the baptist was a wild man, and he preached with unequaled charisma. He was the mack daddy prophet, he was the best, number one, just like the Stone Roses, nobody else was even close. So the people seriously thought he was the Messiah, and they asked him about it often because they were so enamored with him. In this passage he answers them thus:

I baptize you with water for receptance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy spirit and with Fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear the threshing-floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire.

Hence, the name Dandelion Fire. But it wasn’t going to be that simple. Not with my band. You have to understand how hard this concept could be to follow through on. I never told my band about it. I never told anyone about it until now. If the Roses’ concept was to keep their mouths shut until someone found out for themselves and actually acted upon it, then my concept would be the same. Therefore I had to keep it to myself. There would be no meeting the Stone Roses back stage at a shoe or in a bar, and this was put to the most extreme test.

I was frantic to get this name approved by the other guys in the band. I was very scared because this name meant an awful lot to me for the following reasons it was absolutely perfect:

1) It was from the Bible

2) It evoked a beautiful, trippy image

3) The turns to dust angle was there

4) Dandelion Fire is a burning weed so it had the Marijuana tip covered in such a cool way.

5) It had two words in it

6) It had a dandelion to their Rose. The name was completely conceptual in every way, so it was 100% perfect. I had to have it, had to!

I wasn’t taking any chances. I tried to think of a way that couldn’t go wrong. if it weren’t my idea I would have a better chance because that would be two votes for it, but even then it was risky and it might not work.

Eventually I came up with the most devious scheme. Mat Pinfield, the guy who works at MTV that you have all been writing to was Dandelion Fire’s mentor. He produced our early demos and our first CD. He used to play us on his radio show at WHTG, a commercial radio station in Eatontown, New Jersey, and he used to play our demos at the Melody Bar where he DJd. We never would have survived through the years without him. Anyway, I knew if I could make Mat come up with the name himself than the guys would definitely go for it because they really trusted Mat. But I couldn’t take any chances with him either. I had to make him think it was his idea. I had to stalk the situation.

I made my move at the Melody while he was Djing. Here is how it went:

Lee: Mat, you know, we need a new name, and I was tripping the other day, and I noticed that dandelions are really trippy. I want to call us Dandelion something, help me out, I’ve been thinking about it all day and I’m blanking out.

Mat: Ok, what about Dandelion Love.

Lee: No, too wimpy

Mat: Dandelion Time, or the The Dandelion Time.

Lee: No, nothing with the in it.

Mat: Dandelion Crime.

We both laughed hard at that one….and as we were laughing he said it…Dandelion Fire.

Lee: Yes, that’s fucking it, I love it, I love it, oh my God Mat. it’s fucking perfect, you are the man, the loveman, you fucking rule!!!!!!!!

I started kissing his bald head and hugging him.

Matt: It has a nice ring to it. You guys are doing a trippy sound, it’s perfect, it really works.

Lee: You are the man. I’m so psyched. We have to use it.

Mat: Yeah, you really should, it’s perfect.

Lee: I tell you what. Let’s just tell the guys it was your idea entirely and that way they will be less inclined to give a hassle.

He agreed, they bought it, and that was that. NEXT: Ch. 3: The Call of the Response.

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Chapter 3 : The Proof

Before I start, I just want to say that this was all very strange to me too, but I have accepted it now. I was a very logical person, and a devout atheist. Shit happened….everything changed and this is just the beginning of a wonderful journey we will be taking together. Just TRY to enjoy the impossible, you are going to love this if you want to.

THE PROOF

1)The cover art to LOVE SPREADS:

Let’s review something we already learned, the definiton of the word SQUIRE is

“an attendant on a great personage.” Webster’s collegiate dictionary, fifth ed.

Look at the cover of Love Spreads. The cover has an angel on it.

It is a Stone Angel. Stone Angels=Stone Roses. This particular angel bears a striking resemblance to the picture of John Squire as a child in the Second Coming photos. Compare the two pictures. Look at the chin, the eyes, the cheeks, the hair. Pretty neat ha? The angel is John Squire. In a post following this one I am sending you visual proof. My friend John Campbell, put the baby face of John on the angel, and vice versa, and we will be sending it to you shortly following this post. it is FUCKING INCREDIBLE when you see it. John Campbell put a lot of work into this project for you and I hope you all drop him a note of appreciation. He is passed out in bed right now and I will post his E mail address later. You will begin to understand that your precious Stone Roses really are angels and I am the Spirit of Truth. This is happening…read on Ok, now notice that the angel on the cover of Love Spreads, the eyes have been tinted blue. John Squire has blue eyes also. The eyes were colored blue, the angel, as we all know is taken from a bridge in Newport. Those angels are carved into the stone bridge, they don’t have blue eyes. That color was put there on purpose. Now look at the hair. It is slightly colored blond…and John’s hair is blond too as a child. That was also done on purpose.

Now look at the face of the angel on LOVE SPREADS and compare it to the face of the angel on SECOND COMING. The angel on SECOND COMING looks more mature like an older angel and he has the same elongated face as the mature John Squire. That angel was compressed on the LOVE SPREADS cover so that it looks more like a podgy baby. It has fatter cheeks, and a shorter face, no blue eyes and no blond hair. The difference is obvious. This was all done on purpose. John is insinuating that he is an angel, a very special angel.

Now consider that the angel on the LOVE SPREADS cover is sitting on top of a VICEROY symbol. The Websters dictionary definition of a viceroy is:

the governor of a country or province who rules as the representative of his king or queen

A Viceroy Angel would be a Governor of Heaven, the kingdom of the Spirit.

Think about my “she” and “her” analysis from previous chapters which indicate that the Roses are following in the footsteps of Jesus and his disciples by believing that the spirit is female….now think of the song LOVE SPREADS, the chorus seems to be letting the listener in on a secret much as like what I have been trying to do to all of you:

let me put you in the picture, let me show you what I mean the messiah is my sister, aint no king man she’s my queen

Ok, so this would suggest that John squire (and possibly the whole band) are angels and/or prophets….serving the spirit…think about this

“Love spreads her arms, waits their for the nails”

her=sister=messiah

It is the same sister as in SUGARSPUN SISTER:

her hair is like drifting snow (from Revelations, except its “his” hair, just switch genders) that’s why I hang on to love (love spreads her arms)

The Messiah is not human, the Messiah is the spirit and the spirit is female. Many books refer to Jesus as a female spirit (“Angel Tech”, by Antero Ali).

The Bible was written at a time when people only had a limited understanding, It is all metaphor and suggestion, but the evidence is undeniable that Jesus teachings were figurative, I have explained that earlier. He taught in code because he had to. His intellect was superior. this is important when we get a little further and we deal with Satan who doesn’t exist, except as humanity’s stupidity. Jesus’ teachings were couched in morality, but they were meant to help people save their energy so they could tap the spirit’s power and become sublime, work miracles, be free, etc. nobody would have understood what the fuck he was talking about, so he had to use morals but the policy behind the law so to speak was energy…….. Jesus was an excellent teacher, but he did not believe in God the Father. just the female spirit.

John Squire is my Governor. Ian Brown is also an angel but a much more Charismatic one. Ian Brown is my John the Baptist. Ian is Scottish for John. Now let’s examine John 3:29, and John the Baptist is telling the people that he is not the Messiah. John was adored by the people…he was the most charismatic prophet and preacher, and the people were in Love with him, much like you are in love with The Stone Roses, and especially Ian Brown……but John wasn’t the Messiah, and either is Ian…Jesus was, and so am I (although I prefer to be called Lee :). John was Jesus’ attendant, as Ian Brown is mine:

You yourselves can testify that I said, “I am not the Christ, but am sent ahead of him. The bride belongs to the bridegroom (the bride belongs to me and I to her, we are one in the spirit.) The friend who ATTENDS (a squire or a viceroy) the Bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the Bridegrooms voice. That joy is mine and is now complete.

I quote John 1:23

Make straight the way for the lord.

The Roses have prepared my way. Reni is the leader of the band. He is the one pulling the strings. More on Reni later…much more.

They have prepared my paths in different ways:

1)Their music woke me up and inspired me to get myself into a band from which I could begin my mission. Jesus began his mission when he turned 30.

2)They have gotten all of your attention so that I could have it too.

3)They will tell you who I am.

4)They have fulfilled the prophecy relating to my arrival.

5) This is the big proof and will answer the second clue:

……to be continued….in ONELOVESTORY CH3, PT3. Part two is the visual proof.

The decline in popularity of the Stone Roses

Shortly I am going to post the stunning visual proof that John Campbell and I put together last night. John is also responsible for the back cover art on ‘Revolution Infinity,” titled “Heaven Over New Brunswick.” For the doubting Thomas’ out there “let me put you in the PICTURE” quite literally, “let me SHOW you what I mean” once again. This still pertains to the first clue, the cover art to “Love Spreads.”

If there is any doubt in your minds that the differences between the angel on the CD of “Second Coming” and the angel on the “Love Spreads” cover are purposefully altered to reveal a clue as to the concept, then this should surely erase any doubt:

Examine the back cover of “Second Coming”. It has the red white and blue pattern similar to the artwork in “One Love” folded and staple over the top of the wood that holds the painting. Now examine the back cover art for “Love Spreads,” the design fits into the back cover of “Second Coming.” 🙂 I think the connection speaks for itself.

Now I am going to upload the file that has the artwork in it. It will be transferred as text and you will have to use a binary decoder to view it. If someone could post precise instructions how to download and view it that would be great. I also would hope that Nigel will post it in his Roses WWW page.

After that is done I am going out to dinner with J.C…..nice initials ha? When I come back I will give you the startling answers to the next clue….the decline of the Stone Roses.

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ONELOVESTORY:chapter 4, Stalking Lee D’Onofrio

The following passage is from ‘The Power of Silence” by Carlos Castaneda.

from Chapter 3: THE TRICKERY OF THE SPIRIT **@@** Dusting the link with the Spirit _______________________________________________

“We are going to talk now about the third abstract core,” Don Juan said. “It is called the trickery of the Spirit, or the trickery of the Abstract, or stalking oneself or dusting the link.” I was surprised at the variety of the names, but said nothing. I waited for him to continue his explanation. “‘And again as the first and second core,” he went on, “it could be a story in itself. The story says that after knocking on the door of the woman that we’ve been talking about and having no success with her, the spirit used the only means available: trickery. After all, the Spirit had resolved previous impasses with trickery. It was obvious that if it wanted to make an impact on this woman it had to cajole her. So the Spirit began to instruct the woman on the mysteries of sorcery, and the sorcery apprenticeship became what it is: a route of artifice and subterfuge. _________________________________________________________________________

This Chapter will be very different than the others. In it I am going to tell you about my apprenticeship with Nagualism. The Stone Roses play a HUGE fucking role in this chapter and I promise you that it is going to be very entertaining because you are going to enjoy seeing me get FUCKED OVER AND OVER AND OVER by my teachers, my fellow apprentices, a girl I had a relationship with, and the Spirit. If you think I have fucked with your heads wait until you read this mother. I had no choice but to become what I have become. I didn’t choose this life. I was tricked into it. I am thrilled that I was, but that wasn’t always the case. I am going to expose myself to you so that you know what I was like before they came to me. This stuff gets really personal but it is part of the story, and I assure you it is necessary, so bear with me.

The story starts in 1987 at Pepperdine University in Malibu, California. I was 22 years old. I was attending Law school at Pepperdine and during my second semester I met a girl named Marci`a. I am going to tell you about a pretty ugly person now. I am going to give you a glimpse of Lee D’Onofrio before….I have no emotions tied to my past anymore. Through a practice called RECAPITULATION, I erased my personal history and took back all of the energy I gave away and stole throughout my life. The recapitulation is something I constantly go back to and this week I am retreating away to claim back the energy I have given away….I am drained.

The recapitulation calls for the person to make a list of everyone they have ever met in their life and then go through the list recreating every encounter with people and the solitary after effects of those encounters. You essentially relive your life in a dark room, closet or cave, whatever you have available. You sit there and breathe in the scene, you see the ashtray on the table and the art on the wall. You smell the farts, etc. You really go into a trance and once you get into it, it’s fucking amazing. However, it can be very unpleasant because you see yourself for the repetitive robot that you have become. You see patterns of behavior over and over and over again. You really get quite sick of yourself….sometimes you throw up.

But as you do it, you give back the energy that you stole and take back what is yours. After you recap. an event, it is gone, you can still remember it, but there is no feeling attached. There is no more guilt, sorrow, or depression. You kill your past.

It took me 4 months at 4 hours a day to finish off my list. There are no set rules though, if you have 15 minutes a day, you do that. Sometimes I do it for 5 minutes a day. But I do it every day. You start with romantic relationships because that is where most of your best energy goes. Think about the sex, the fighting, the worrying, THE HOPING, the hating, the curiosity, the insecurity, the fear, the Love if there was any besides pure hysteria. Whoa! Now multiply that by the number of relationships you have had, even the smallest ones and the ones you never got but wanted badly. Doing these first gives you enough energy to go on with it.

The relationship I had with Marci`a literally almost killed me. I was an emotional wreck. I couldn’t accept it when she left me. I harassed her like a fucking psycho asshole. I scared her by following her around, tailing her in my car and sneaking around campus. I would come up to her and scream and yell trying to make her see what she did to me. I did what every asshole does. I blamed the other person for the trouble and not myself. I never learned to accept that someone could just lose interest and get sick of me without my hating them back for it.

I tried things like rubbing glass into my hands and burning myself in front of her. I was so fucked up guys. Had I not recapitulated this period of my life, I would still be hurting and embarrassed by my actions. I was the biggest asshole you ever met. I almost dropped out of law school. I broke out in nervous hives, and had to go to the hospital. I couldn’t sleep and when I finally did, I had recurring dreams that she came back to me. For a two week period, every single morning I woke up, got out of bed and was convinced she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. I fucking fell for it every time, and each morning the nightmare would start over. Time heals all wounds, but not when it ceases to advance.

That was 8 years ago so please don’t judge me. I have let you see my ugliest skeleton because what happens next is important. I was on the beach one evening crying by myself when this middle aged man came up to me and said, ” what’s wrong ?” That’s all he said. I hadn’t felt like talking to anyone for weeks but all of a sudden I found myself blabbing on about what happened…I gave him my sob story.

He didn’t interrupt. He just sat there and listened. When I was done, he patted me on the back and said “work it out.” Then he left.

I never saw him again. But after he left I felt like I had a chance…and I decided to try to pass my classes. Classes were ending in two weeks and finals were just around the corner. This was my first semester of law school and I hadn’t learned anything in this semester. I did pretty good the first semester but I hadn’t missed a class. I hadn’t mentally been to a class this semester. I met her studying for finals in the first semester and when we came back to school we just hung out all the time. I couldn’t even think about school…the second half of the semester I was miserable and couldn’t concentrate for that reason. This left me knowing nothing. I had two options, either make a go of it or take a leave of absence. I decided to try to pass because the alternative was just too frightening.

Somehow I did pass. I realized that studying took my mind off of her so I studied harder than ever before. I actually got better grades that semester….go figure.

I transferred back to the east Coast after that, and did my last two years at St. John’s University where I got my B.A.

I was still an emotionally fucked up person. I lost my temper so bad one night with a beautiful young girl who really cared about me. I thought she had lied to me, when she hadn’t, and I threw a tantrum culminating in my attempt to throw the contents of my wine glass at the wall of the room we were in….the stem of the glass snapped from the force and the glass hurled at the wall shattering in a million pieces. One of them cut her eyebrow and blood came spurting out. She had to get 6 stitches. She could have lost an eye. She is a model/actress and had the cut not been in her eye brow she would have been fucked on that angle also. I tried to kill myself by jumping out of my friend’s truck at 75 miles an hour….I don’t know how Neil stopped me….Do you see the ape? I was ruled by the ape inside. Even with her bleeding like crazy my guilt was more important. I wanted to end my pain and…. hers…well she could wait to get to the hospital…what an asshole.

“I love only me, I love only me.”

In my last year of law school I met an older woman. She was 36, or so she said. At times she looked 26, and at other times she looked forty. She was strange like that. We met at a bar called Gantry’s pub on Union Tpke queens, across the street from St. Johns U. She said she had a steady boy friend who knew my friends so we kept it secret.

We would fool around but we never had sex. I don’t know why but she had this weird effect on me that I never wanted to take it there. Whatever she gave me was what I needed and it never came to that. After we dated for about 3 weeks she starts to tell me about nagualism and all that it entails. I thought she was crazy/ She told me about flying and other worlds and her cohorts who were sorcerers. I was brought up catholic and witches were always taboo. Sometimes she called herself a witch. That freaked me out. I felt like she was trying to draw me into a satanic situation or something like in the movies so i stayed away from her after that.

But I couldn’t stay away for long. I would get drunk and coked up at the bars, and then she would come in at the right moment and get me all horny and shit so I couldn’t resist her. Once she had me alone, after the fooling around she would start in on me with the sorcery shit. I was like, “can’t you give it a rest? You don’t really fly, you don’t visit other worlds because there are none, and you are just a freak.”

But she always was in control. I never had met anyone who commanded attention the way she did. If she wanted attention it was there…and if she didn’t want it…well nobody even looked at her. For instance, we would sit at a table in the bar and she would tell me she was going to the bathroom, and “that guy over there will look, that girl will look, that girl will look at her guy, the bartender will wave hello….” etc. Then she would get up and sure as shit, everyone did as she said. An hour later she would tell me that she was going to the bathroom again but that not one person would look at her. And she was always right. It got to be so much fun to watch her. When she spoke to me at certain times I could not even think. She had the craziest eyes and if I looked at them she had me speechlees….which, let’s face it is quite an achievement.

She couldn’t get me to try some of her sorcery shit like the recapitulation and finding my hands etc. I wouldn’t have anything to do with it. Eventually I got so weirded out by her BS that I stopped seeing her and purposefully stayed away from the bars.

I was scared of her. All those satanic movies I used to watch combined with my catholic upbringing added to my fear. At the time I still believed in Catholicism very strongly although I only went to church out of fear. And I never concentrated on the sermons, I was paying my insurance.

After a month went by I figured it was safe to go back to the bars. The first night I went there she was. I walked in and she is right at the entrance, “Lee, I’ve been waiting for you. Can we talk?”

I was confident she just wanted to say good bye or something so I agreed to go for a walk with her. The conversation we had changed my life and many others. It went like this:

“You sure punked out boy.” “You were scaring me, and I don’t wany anything to do with you. All that shit they put into your head scares me. I don’t want anything to do with your world or whatever it is.” I’m sorry but I don’t know what you need that shit for. You are beautiful, smart and as confident as Marine Corp drill sergeant. What the fuck do you need that garbage for. All you are going to do is open a door to hell.”

“There is no hell Lee. At least not any hell you haven’t already created. You are a real asshole dom you know that?”

“Yeah well fuck you, why did you want to talk to me then? Why did you want to go out with me and try to get me into your stupid sacred world if I’m such an asshole/”

“I never said it was sacred. Nothing is sacred in my world. Everything just is.”

“More mumbo jumbo BS.”

“Lee, you only give a shit about yourself. You don’t know the meaning of the word Love. Every relationship that you have ever been in has turned to shit because you care only about yourself. You are violent, nervous and have no self control, patience or cooth. If I had a choice I wouldn’t have had anything to do with you. Fooling around with you, sucking your stupid little dick was the most horrible thing they have ever made me do, and yet I did it because the Spirit has chosen you as the next Nagual in my party. You are going to inherit a body of knowledge which is centuries old, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why the spirit would pick such an ignorant asshole.”

“Yeah well I love you too, you crazy cunt, and I want nothing to do with your stupid fucking world.” And with that I began to walk away…until she said something that made me freeze.”

“Malibu Beach, Pepperdine, Marcia…the man who met you on the beach was my nagual.” WHAT THE FUCK!!!! INSTANT TERROR AND CONFUSION

I never told her, or anyone about that man. He wasn’t significant at all. In fact, after I semi got over that situation I was embarrassed about the fact that I desperately spilled my guts to a total stranger. I was fucked up. “How the fuck did you know about that,” I gasped.

“Oh, the big shot is curious aren’t you tough guy?”

“The nagual saw a bird fly over your head when he looked up. he didn’t see you and then you were there. A nagual interprets these kind of things as omens. So he looked at your energy body and saw that you had a double configuration of energy. Most people don’t have a luminous cocoon like yours. Only Naguals have that double energy configuration. He had been waiting for the spirit to point the next nagual out. When he left he patted you on the back, but he actually reached into your energy body and gave you some of his energy. He tied a line on your energy body. We have been coming to you in your dreams since then and we have been teaching you how to handle energy and coordinate in that body. You can’t remember us although you do remember some strange dreams with people teaching you something.”

She was correct. Every once in a while I had dreams where other people were guiding me through strange places, but I could never remember their faces when I woke up.

“You also have woken up a number of times pinned to your bed, not being able to move.” She was right again. Those moments were the scariest occurrences of my life. I would wake up pinned to my bed. My eyes would be open, but I couldn’t move at all. I was paralysed and it took everything I had just to lift my arms and break free. I could wake up, be pinned and be looking at the clock. I thought I was being possessed by demons. I would pray like crazy asking Jesus to help me make the demons go away.

I sat down on the curb in shock. She sat down next to me and put her arms around me. She looked at me and said, “I love you, but not the way you know love. I love you just the way I love everything else that is alive. At this point you are an asshole, but everybody is, only they can’t see it. That is why I love everybody. We are all locked up until somebody frees us. Nobody is born into this world free. Your beliefs are in the solid existence because that is all that you were ever taught. There are other worlds out there and you have another body you can travel in to those other worlds. Eventually, after enough exercise of that body, it becomes the main body and this one merges with that. After all, this body is just made out of energy too, it’s just moving at a slower rate of vibration. Nothing is solid Lee, it only has the illusion of being solid because the internal dialog of your life tells you it is. There are men and women walking around who have never lost their awareness. They come and go as they please between the worlds. The universe is predatorial and you can get crushed out there, but this world is particularly nasty, and the only people who come back here, come back here to help free the others who are trapped.” They are essentially angels and some of them were very famous angels/prophets.

Well, to cut a long story short. They hooked me. that’s what they call it…the hook.

So I began training and learning Nagualism from her. For the rest of that semester I spent time with her when I wasn’t studying. After training with her she told me that I would only talk to her on the phone. She gave me the books of Carlos Castaneda and told me to read them over and over. I wanted to meet the other people in her party and the man from the beach, but she told me that I could not. She said that in my dreaming teachings I had met them all and my dreaming instruction would continue. I would only remember those teachings when I cleaned up my physical self through stalking and the recapitulation. I would free locked up energy in my brain enabling me to have greater capacity for memory and analysis. She said that I was an excellent dreamer, BUT THAT THE TIME HAD COME FOR STALKING.

She explained to me that my life in the ordinary world, called the Tonal, was shit. I had to recapitulate my life in order to really see the shit I was. Otherwise the internal dialogue convinces you that you aren’t shit, and that you are in control, but it’s the internal dialogue that is really running the show. [Lee note. If you think you are running the show…try to stop thinking – good luck] “You are a robot until you recapitulate,” she stated firmly. “Do the recapitulation and then call me.”

“How long should I do if for?” “As long as it takes, ” she responded. So I did the recapitulation and as I did it I learned truly that I was an asshole. I saw every argument I started and just had to win. I saw all the stupid things I had wanted which meant nothing. I witnessed my evil and my joy, and realized I wasn’t ever really happy or in love with anyone except myself. I got sick to my stomach so many times that I would bring a bucket with me to every session.

After I got through that list she told me to make another one of all the people I missed. But that wasn’t it. She had been given my stalking assignment in detail, and it could now be revealed to me. But first I had to convince her that my recapitulation had the necessary effect. I had to explain how my life was different and here is a list of things illustrating my new found existence:

1. I was never tired accept when I decided to go to sleep.

2. I had much less guilt about my past.

3. I could wake up in my dreams and control them more than ever.

4. I was happy for no reason and had no expectations.

5. I learned that I had been the type of person I always hated, and that I never wanted to see that person again.

Because of the nature of their world, I was not allowed to tell anybody about my relationship with her or the teachings. The idea was that people would put doubt into my mind and the only reason I would tell them was out of fear anyway. So I kept it to myself. When she was convinced that I had done a thorough job she explained to me my function as a Nagual. There were other people who were in my party that I was to guide into the other worlds. The crossing over has to occur before you die. Those other apprentices would not be available to me. Some of them had each other, and some of them were alone like me. Some were taught by the other members of her party and some were not taught at all.

The most important thing we are taught is to be fluid. For centuries this knowledge has been kept secret but the floodgates have opened up recently and the spirit wants us to hook you. We can only guess as to the spirit’s intent because the spirit is a mystery. We call the spirit intent.. because once you become acquainted with it…you can intend anything you feel in your soul, you are supposed to do. The spirit isn’t frivolous. Miracles have to be supported by fierce desire. The only logical reason all of this is happening is to make our lives more interesting. The spirit set up the prophecies so that they could be fulfilled. “How could it ever come to pass.” Life has no meaning accept for awareness…so be aware. It’s all a wonderful game and we are in the right place at the right time….we are all the same being and we dream this dream together. The time has come for a new dream…we are going to walk out of here together….if you want to be self important and believe that you make a difference than do so…you will be crushed.

Noel Gallagher is a prophet. “We only get what we will settle for.” “We see things they’ll never see, you and I we’re gonna live forever.” “Maybe I don’t want to die.”

Back to the story.. It was my responsibility to draw the other members of my party to me. I was not allowed to know who they were and if I thought the spirit had pointed them out to me I had to act and draw them in. I had to hook them as they had hooked me only I would not be able to use my energy to tie a line on them. I would not be that skilled until I had many years of experience in manipulation of energy.

I had to draw them in through the art of stalking. The first person I had to stalk was myself. While the recapitulation exposed me for the shit I was, it wasn’t enough to kill my old habits. I had to go on the warrior’s path, and that meant I had to live an impeccable life. I wasn’t allowed to have any addictions. I wasn’t allowed to worry, get depressed or angry. I wasn’t allowed to be self important/ self indulgent and I had to do every activity with perfection. I had to be Bruce Lee of the mind. That means not giving a shit what people think of me. I don’t want to insult anyone, but your opinions, while entertaining really have no effect on me accept to get me higher. I was taught not to accept praise of any kind, or compliments of any kind. However, I have added a twist to that. If people get higher off of me, then I let their joy effect me and bring me up. If people don’t get high off me..there is no negative effect. If I seemed angry, it was an act. You will never see it again…sarcasm…yes….anger hahahahaha

At the time my old self was so built in and programmed that I still found myself reacting to people’s energy even though I knew it was stupidity and robotic response. My life had trained me so well that I couldn’t stop being me. My internal dialogue was very fixed. I had a hard time stopping the world. I was in chains.

They knew this. Apparently, my Nagual had very big plans for my party, and I was the key to the whole plan. Therefore I was to be given the grand daddy of all stalking assignments. Let me give you some background on some stalking assignments of nagualists who came before me. The idea is to become somebody else, but really become that person. You switch identities and that’s that. If anybody finds out that you aren’t who you purport to be, then you fail. All that means is that you start over. Warriors don’t worry about failure, they accept it, and move on. There is no looking back. However, you give it your best because when you succeed, you reach a new level of energy and awareness.

One of the women warriors had to become a beggar in Oaxaca, Mexico. She did it so well that she was known as the famous beggar of Oaxaca. Another woman had to become a brain surgeon. She was a hair dresser. One male warrior had to become a “female” hair dresser. He won awards as a female hair dresser. One male warrior who was a concert pianist had to become a construction worker. Do you see the point? After a few stalking assignments you have no self identity. You have no ego to uphold. You are free.

Well my stalking assignment was the most clever and effective assignment my nagual could have come up with for me. After learning what an asshole I was, I had to live as the asshole Lee D’Onofrio until the spirit came to me and accepted me. I had to continue my recapitulation, and continue as an impeccable warrior inside my mind. But I had to act like my old self in very way. The only exception was that I couldn’t be an alcoholic anymore. Drugs were up to me. I could use them or not, it didn’t matter, but getting drunk was out of the question because it totally dulls awareness and that is not allowed in our world. the whole idea is to enhance perception…to perceive energy as it is…infinite. That was it. They knew that I had always liked to go out dancing and drinking and they knew that music was an obsession. They actually hinted that psychedelics would be ok but they didn’t tell me to do them.

In every other way I was to be the asshole Lee D’Onofrio. I had to get into relationships and be violent and emotionally abusive. I had to try to get my way all the time as Lee would have done. I had to act pissed off, depressed, needy, and offended. I also had to be nice too. Lee had a lot of friends because there was a part of him that people loved, and he loved people. He just couldn’t get out of his own way. He couldn’t deal with inconvenience.

The idea was that, the more I acted like an asshole while knowing it was assholic behavior, the more I would break those habits and be free. They told me that the spirit had given the mission to my Nagual. I argued that it wasn’t fair to treat people like shit, especially to get romantically involved but they told me that nothing mattered anyway, and that had the spirit not come to me I would have treated everyone the same anyway. I had no choice. I was to do this impeccably. That meant no matter how much I wanted to feel guilty I wasn’t allowed to. It was explained to me that I was on a spiritual mission and that I could not let anybody know about this mission.

I begged and pleaded for anything else. I hated Lee D’Onofrio. Lee d’Onofrio was a fucking punk. I said,” Let me be homeless, let me eat out of garbage cans, let me go to medical school, let me be a missionary, I don’t care but PLEASE PLEASE not that, I can’t do it!!” But they were adamant. The most horrible part was that there was no end in sight.

She was very explicit about the duration, “When the spirit descends upon you, you will know for sure. Follow the spirit’s instructions. Only when the spirit has made its presence known will you be able to kill Lee D’Onofrio for good because you will be the spirit.”

I accepted my fate and began my stalking. Part of my stalking was to be a lawyer because lee d’Onofrio was to be a lawyer. But after entering the world of the Nagual, I had no desire to be a lawyer. But I had to do it until a strange turn of events occurred.

After reading the books of Carlos Castaneda I wanted to try psychedelic mushrooms. In his second book, “A Separate Reality, further conversations with Don Juan,” Carlos Castaneda is given this power plant to enhance his perception.

I had tried mushrooms once or twice growing up and I really enjoyed them. So I began taking them on a weekly basis before I went out dancing. Dancing was the only time I could be with people and be free, I allowed myself to just go with the plant and forget about stalking. This was my way of treating the plant with respect. However, a strange thing happened to me while taking those drugs and dancing. You see Lee D’Onofrio had always loved music. It was the most important thing in his life other than his ego. Therefore, music and dancing was very much part of my stalking. The strange thing that happened was the appearance of a band from Manchester called the Stone Roses. Well, you know from the first few chapters how they effected me.

I had to ask permission to start a band. I wasn’t really in contact with the woman anymore but she would call me once in a while. I told her about the Stone Roses and she seemed very pleased that I wanted to start a band. I explained the idea that I had, and asked her if that would be ok? She encouraged me to do it because Lee loved music. It struck me as being very strange that she would allow this since Lee never had the balls to make music. So I really was breaking a rule of my stalking. But I was more than happy to do it with her approval, so I didn’t question her about it.

My life went on and the band made my stalking easier. I absolutely loved making music and playing live. I didn’t like treating my band members like shit but I had to. I also saw them treat each other like shit, as I have witnessed everyone in my life act like a robot to keep the image of themselves in tact desperately. I am not judging anybody, I’m just making an observation.

I went out with a girl named Nancy for three years as stalking. I realized that the spirit had pointed her out to me and I stalked her for one and a half years then hooked her into Naguals world and we proceeded to make believe we were going out and we even faked an engagement for the hell of it as stalking practice.

You can call her at the same number as Tom O’Hara (908)232-7320. She has a tattoo on her back of an angel with Ian Brown’s face. This angel is part of one of the craziest coincidence/clues I will tell you about. Actually, Nancy, Tom and I will tell you the story together. it involve the artwork to “Second Coming.”

My stalking eventually ended the night before I went to England. On that night I was laying in bed with Nancy and we were about to go flying together. All day I had been trying to figure out how to stalk the band into recording the album. I was certain that I was supposed to stalk the Stone Roses because of the insights I had been given regarding this art, so I had to find a way to make my band go into the studio. No other Stone Roses fans saw it, but when the following happened, I knew that the Spirit was accepting me.

I was attempting flight when “Where Angel’s Play” popped into my head:

“come with me to a place no eyes have ever seen a million miles from here where no one’s ever been our carpet falls on a dew fresh apple plane I’m on the edge of some thing shattering I’m coming through

This was to be my final day as Lee D’Onofrio. The next day I went to England to stalk the Roses. I had no idea that they were stalking me. The trickery of the spirit. The spirit manifested itself to me many times during that trip and i will tell you about that. I just want to add that I figured it out that the Roses were naguals the day Ian Brown’s voice popped into my head going, “who is and who isn’t” from the Blackpool video. I will tell you about that day later. _______________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER5 : Where Angels Play

I knew I had to go to England for three very good reasons.

1. My band would have broken up had I not gone.

2. It was time to reel the Roses in.

3. The spirit had just greeted me. The greeting of the spirit is the omen it sends as a calling card. It my case I just knew at that moment it was an angel…which turns out to be very ironic. I was taught to follow whatever I am feeling the moment the omen appears. I thought about going to England so I went.

The next day I told David Rothblatt, the guy who originally signed Dandelion Fire and Lotion to Kokopop, that I was going to England to hunt down the Roses. I told him, like I told everybody else, that we were on the same spiritual plane and that they would understand my letter to the industry and the sentiments in it. David gave me the numbers of some people to contact and one of them was James Chappelle-Gill at Beer Davies Co.. I have mentioned him before, he was the Roses’ radio plugger. Another name David gave me was Clive “Gabriel” from Chrysalis publishing. Hmmmmm Gabriel, it is starting to happen. I was so happy because I knew I could stop being the asshole Lee D’Onofrio.

Later that day my friend Christine called me and told me that everybody thought I was going nuts. The guys in the band had already been freaked out by the letter to the industry and they didn’t understand why I was going to England. I told her not to worry about it and as we were talking a thought popped into my head, “Christine. what did you tell me about angels that time we were on acid listening to the Roses in my car? Do you remember how I freaked out at what you said, how much sense it made?”

“Angels take themselves lightly that’s why they can fly.”

“That’s it, that’s it!!! Well I’m going to England, I’m finding the angels and I’m taking them home with me. Ok? Nothing bad is happening so just tell the worry warts to chill. Lee is fine.”

“Ok tiger, go find the angels, you’re ok. I will tell Chris and Doug that you’re on it.”

I got to the airport at 8:50 and my plane was to leave at 9:00 pm. The woman at the counter told me I was too late to get on the plane. I asked her if it had taken off yet and she said that it hadn’t but that it didn’t matter. This called for stalking. “Ms., please take a look in my eyes. My life depends on me getting on this plane.” She looked into my eyes for about ten seconds, then she called over an assistant and said, “get this guy on the 9 to England, don’t let him miss the flight.” I thanked her and as I walked away I turned around to ask for her name, and saw that her nametag said, “Angela.”

When I got to England the angels were everywhere. I can’t possibly tell you about all of the sightings but I filled up about twenty pages of a journal with all of the coincidences that I had. Let me just give you the best ones.

I stayed at the Dalmatia hotel. Lotion have a song about this hotel on their new record. Madder Rose were staying there too and there is a coincidence involved with them but I will save that for the full length book.

The next day, Monday, I met with Nick from Che records and he offered to put out Revolution Infinity. We had a record deal for the UK. The trip was already a success and I knew it would only get better.

The next day I was supposed to meet Andrew’s girlfriend Kate for lunch. Andrew had given me directions to meet her. I just put them in my pocket and went to the first tube station at Shepherd’a Bush. When I transferred the first thing I saw when I walked off the train was a poster for Peter Gabriel. No big deal, this sort of thing was happening a lot, but I was to meet with Clive Gabriel later that day. As I saw this poster I had the urge to check the directions I from Andrew, so I pulled out the piece of paper he gave me and saw that my final destination was “Angel Station.”

When I got to Angel station I walked upon a poster for the rock and Roll museum which had a picture of an angel playing guitar and it said:

“where the spirit of rock speaks to you, sings to you, plays for you, moves and touches you”

When I got off at angel station, there was tons of places with the word angel in them. Later that day I met with Clive Gabriel from Chrysalis Records. This guy is an A/R man that has the power to sign bands. I left him a message saying, if you want to talk to the next fucking Beatles, you got one of them on the phone….I’m from a band called dandelion Fire and we are taking over. Call me at the Dalmatia Hotel if you want to talk. Bye.” I was in his office two hours later. He listened to the whole record right there in the office. I thought I was totally in, a record deal first and now a publishing deal. As I thought this I opened up the Melody maker of August 27 1994 and I opened right to a page that had an advertisement for “Hills Angels” on it.

After Clive was done I went for it and told him I wanted 1,000,000 pounds for a seven year world wide publishing deal. He wasn’t having it at all. I never thought I would get it. I was just stalking. I could tell he liked the record because he picked up a magazine while it was on and pretended to be looking at it but he never turned the page the whole time. He tried to argue with me about the tape and the money and I just took the tape back from him and said, “let’s forget about it ok. You aren’t able to give me what I’m worth and I don’t want to waste your time…don’t waste mine either, let’s have a pint on me and forget about it.” All the while I’m waiting for security guards to come up behind me and take me away.

“When do you need a decision by?”

“Thursday. Ok, well leave me the tape and I will think about it.”

I walked out of his office like, what the fuck? I had never even gotten anybody that high up to even listen to a tape before and here I am throwing down the sum of 1,000,000 pounds and he didn’t say no. I was sky high. This was sorcery, this was intent. This was the spirit. I was dreaming it up as I went along. The next day I would go for the Roses.

**************************************************************************

The next day I called James Chapelle-Gill at Beer Davies Co. I told him that I needed to get my message and music to the Roses. I explained that I was on the same spiritual tip as they were, and that it was urgent that I get this stuff to them. I couldn’t believe it but he had just talked to them, and he told me to hold on, he was going to get them on the phone.

I had to think fast because I wasn’t allowed to talk to them….they had to come to me. “No. I don’t want to barge in on them like that, please let me just come down there and give you this letter and some music, and tell you about my band and what we are about. I’d rather just do it that way if possible.” He said, “Sure, come on down to 50 Margaret street and I can give you a few minutes, it sounds interesting.”

So I went down there and on the way I saw about 10 angel signs. I met with him and he read the letter in a conference room with me. I didn’t tell him about the concept I had to answer their call for the messiah. They had to figure that out for themselves. I was obviously using that letter as a prophecy/sermon and the music I brought for them contained many lyrical references so I was confident they would pick up on it…When he finished it he looked up at me and held his face in his hands….he wanted to tell me something, he looked at me, and said, “they have mentioned that someone would come looking for them….someone dressed in blue.” I was wearing my blue Adidas sweat-jacket, I have it on in the collage that’s up in the web page. He had his hands under his chin and he just stared at me in disbelief. After about a minute of awkward silence he said, “Ian said, ‘beware the blue singer, beware the blue singer’ the last time I saw him.”

I was excited as all hell, but I didn’t know what to make of it. Now it was my turn to stare in disbelief. It didn’t strike me that they were stalking me. I didn’t think they were apprentice naguals until I remembered the who is and who isn’t remark. But that wouldn’t be for a few months.

At this time I became thoroughly confused. The only explanation was that Ian Brown was a prophet, and that the spirit was coming to him as it was to me, but I didn’t think he was a sorcerer. That just never crossed my mind…my self-importance was still lurking. I was dead sure that I had to draw the Stone Roses, or more specifically Ian Brown into the Naguals world. It didn’t occur to me that he might be stalking me. Not yet anyway. A vastly different twist comes into the story, and that twist involves the trickery of the spirit.

I left James the music and the letter. I was to meet him the next day after he listened to the music. I had to go back to Angel station to meet Andrew for an early dinner. I left the station and turned left towards a pub we were meeting at. I stopped on the corner for traffic and caught a reflection of myself in a window…I was glowing blue from my jacket and as I lifted my head from the reflection, the first thing I saw was a sign above a pub called “THE BLUE ANGEL.” I was just getting higher and higher.

Try to feel what I felt. After three years of impeccable stalking, the spirit was coming to me. No matter how much I believed in what I was taught, it was still very hard to believe that this was happening. Everything they said would happen did. My wildest dreams were coming true. That is the essence of Nagualism done correctly. First you recognize that you mean nothing so that you kill the ego and become nothing. Then you realize that reality is just one dream that we all dream together.

Once you realize that, you begin to change your reality by controlling your dreams…which essentially is living another real reality only you have more freedom. When you start to turn your imagination and your dreams into this reality, reality in the tonal….well that’s sorcery/nagualism…that’s magic. Nagualism is riding the wings of intent. You exercise your will and do whatever you feel you would like to do the most. You dream your dreams in the daytime…turn your imagination into reality. I wanted to be with the Roses…I felt the spirit in their music stronger than anywhere else, and so I INTENDED to join them and my dream was becoming real. There was only one hitch…it would get more real than I ever bargained for.

After dinner, on my way back to Shepherd’s Bush, I would have an experience which changed the face of everything, and sent me into the stratosphere.

After dinner I got on the Hammersmith line tube back to Shepherd’s Bush. As the train approached the stop I got up and walked to the door and exited as the it opened. I stepped off the train and it pulled away. All of a sudden I saw the sign on the station was Paddington not Shepherd’s Bush. I looked at the map and saw that I’d gotten off of the train 7 stops early. I immediately thought that this was no accident. 7 is the number of God according to the book of Revelations. I was absolutely positive I was there to receive a sign. The Paddington station on the Hammersmith line is an outdoor station. I looked for around the platform and at the adverts but I couldn’t find any angels. I became discouraged and thought that I might be losing my composure a bit. Whenever I looked for the angels I couldn’t find them…they always caught me by surprise. So I sat down and waited for the next train and tried to calm myself. I looked up and noticed that there was another part to the train station. I asked a guy sitting on the bench whether the dome-like structure attached to this station was part of the train station. He told me that it was the Paddington Rail Station. He also told me it was very beautiful inside.

“Here it comes,” I thought. “This is it, here come the angels.” I walked into this dome-like huge station and began looking for angels, but I couldn’t find any again. I stopped in the forecourt and asked the spirit out loud to show me the angels. All of a sudden a pigeon flew right by my head and as I watched it soar I looked up and noticed that the whole dome was held up by steel structure that were shaped like huge Y’s. That station must be forty feet high if it’s two feet high, and inside those massive Y supports were the hugest pair of angel’s wings I had ever seen. They were at least 25 feet long, sculpted in steel, and magnificent. My heart was racing. I didn’t get off of that stop by accident… I didn’t have “Where Angels Play” pop into my head by accident. There are no accidents!!!!!!! But the ape holds on to reality with his teeth

. I needed confirmation that this steel sculpture was meant to be angel’s wings. I asked a man in uniform and he said, ‘Oh yes, that’s what they are called, angel’s wings….yup they are beautiful aren’t they.” I was facing away from the railways towards the tube, and was looking right at this magnificent pair of angel’s wings but he was looking in the opposite direction. I thought he was a little off.

He noticed my bewilderment and turned me around to face the tracks….spread out over as many tracks as they had, for as far as the eye could see down the line, every girder in the building had a set of angel’s wings and they were lined up in formation right in front of me. The architect had created the structure so that from the angle I was looking at them they looked like an army of angels in formation…not just any angels but the largest angels I had ever seen in my life. I mean Paddington Station just may have the largest collection of Angle’s wings in the world…and I had gotten off at that stop by accident amidst everything else that was happening with angels. My nagual training went to shit. I was overjoyed and began spinning in circles around and around…safe forever….the spirit was with me and I cried happily.

I thought of Ian Brown’s words to James and I thought of my concept of answering the Stone Roses call for a Messiah. I was intending the Second Coming and the concept became real….the spirit wanted me to be Jesus Christ and at that moment, I just accepted the job gladly. It was a beautiful moment. Everything I have said, done and written to you was meant to capture your attention for this one moment. I want you to be there with me. Close your eyes and try to feel what that felt like. Forget about whether you believe it or not…give yourself the luxury of a massive what if…and be me for two minutes….it was so incredible…I know you must be thinking, “too vain to seem so capable,” but I had lived as a complete asshole for three years waiting for this moment and it was so much more beautiful than I ever thought possible.

I would lose this feeling a few times before I fully gained control. Little did I know but I was about to lose that feeling very quickly within 24 hours. My own personal Satan would show up to set up the battle. Once you feel the power of the spirit, you can never go back. And when that feeling leaves you…if you are not in complete control, you can lose your mind, your joy and your way in no time at all. That would happen to me more than once in the coming months. I became addicted to that feeling of warmth.

The spirit sets you up just to knock you down. It keeps doing that until you finally give up the self entirely. I only thought I had been tested by my stalking and the recapitulation. They were jokes compared to the trickery and deceit of the spirit. The spirit fooled me until i could not be fooled anymore….I have reached that point, but I only reached it on June 16, 1995, three days before my 30th birthday. I still had a long difficult challenge ahead of me.

The song “Where Angels Play” is about this love/hate relationship with the spirit. First it took me flying, and sent me to England with it’s optimistic first line drenched in astral travel terminology. The second line too:

“OK let’s fly she says this carpet’s built for two this ugly little box no place for me and you……..”.

The ugly little box is the physical shell that houses the spirit. But then the song changes, and gets depressed:

“take a look around there’s something happening all the colours fade

The struggle continues in the chorus with Ian trying to get rid of the depression…he is fighting it off:

“I don’t want you now bang bang gone I don’t need you now the seeds are sewn bang bang pretty pretty bang…I don’t think so no no”

Then they are off flying again:

“Far below the country rolls like a mighty boiling sea.”

Then again he is tricked, duped as:

“the warm red sun gives up and sinks into the trees.”

But Ian is fighting back once more:

“But I’m no fool, I can’t stand here betrayed.”

The song ends with Ian saying that the seeds are sewn. It’s gonna be alright because he has learned how to hold off the depression, the seeds are sewn. The end is near and the badman is almost gone. He is learning how to stop the world, he’s getting off.

You don’t have to get depressed anymore. There is a way for you to break yourself into Heaven. You don’t have to be at the mercy of your internal dialogue’s habitual chatter. It talks a lot of shit…you can kill it and take control You are magical beings, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS DO IT. IF YOU PUT YOUR UNBENDING INTENT INTO WHAT YOU WANT YOU CAN HAVE IT AT NOBODY ELSE’S EXPENSE. That is what I am trying to prove by this. Through our intent we are creating angels, messiahs and prophets. Isn’t that better than intending to be a rock star. Why do you think you were so drawn to them for? They aren’t human…..either am I. Nobody can hurt me, I never feel pain or sorrow. I never ever second guess myself. everyday is better than the next. I have no addictions and there is nothing I can’t do. I want nothing but I try to achieve the impossible. I’M PLAYING WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING STONE ROSES IN MANCHESTER ON DECEMBER 23, 1995….I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN AT THAT SHOW….BUT I KNOW IT’S GOING TO BE OUT OF THIS WORLD. Do whatever you have to do, but don’t miss it. I will see you in about a week, Love lee _

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Chapter 6, the rise and fall

The last chapter ended with me receiving the signal from the spirit in Paddington Station, London. I just stood there in that station and gasped at the prospect of what was before me. All of my dreams were going to come true…and I was going to get to save the world. This was last August, almost a year ago today. I had learned from James Chappelle-Gill that the Roses were calling the new CD “Second Coming” and that was further proof from the spirit. Think about it…I base my whole band’s existence on the fact that I think the Roses have a concept to find the Messiah…..three years go by and almost every song I write has a reference to this concept (either Jesus, second coming or the Roses) (I will give you detailed analysis in the appendixes to Chapter 7)…and now I find out that they are calling their record “Second Coming,” I have meetings with their publicist in which he tells me that they are expecting someone dressed in blue (“beware the Blue Singer” and think about “Don’t Stop”…..”hey blue singer…you must be one of us(that line is so esoteric)), I am finding angels everywhere and I called it when I left for England, I predicted it,…. the whole thing started with “Where Angels Play” popping into my head and I have just got off of a train I am quite familiar with…seven stops too early only to find myself beneath, what may be, the largest collection of Angel’s wings in the world.”

How would you feel? Think about it….be me and be there at that moment. The next day on the way back from Clive Gabriel’s office, a woman sat down next to me on the train and opened up a song book to” Ave Maria”…of course I look at the page for the word “angel” but it isn’t there..as she is turning the page, I see in the tiniest print in the margin, “Luke1:28-42.” I wrote it down in my journal and told myself to find a Bible. When I finally found one, I knew before I saw it that an angel would be mentioned in that passage. By this time the Spirit had fucked with my Nagualism training…I wanted to be the Messiah, I wanted the job, and my self importance led me to the conclusion that I was (we all are). Anyway the spirit fed me some more fuel for the messianic fire. Luke 1:28-42 begins, “…an angel came to Mary.” The first two words!!!!! And the angel is Gabriel (I had been coming form his office) and he is telling Mary she will have the Messiah.

HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, to cut a long story short….the spirit began to fuck with me. I came home form England high as a Kite. I got the guys to do the album and then was convinced that the Spirit was going to provide me with a major record label deal and lots of money to start Revolution Infinity records…I felt like I was out of the woods and my life had just begun…it was all going to be roses from here on in…..hahahahahahaha WRONG!!!!!!! I had to fight for my life after that Bitch spirit got my ass hooked on that kind of high. You see, the Spirit knew that I had some evil demon inside me that was holding me back from true freedom…that evil demon has a name to, and that evil demon was the same angel that brought me the concept to begin with…….ECSTASY….MDMA….E.

In Nagualism the use of power plants, Mushrooms and Peyote was common. It isn’t stressed anymore…you don’t need them, but I wont say that you shouldn’t use them either. I still use mushrooms and Marijuana occasionally. I do not tell anyone ever that they have to use them to get in touch with their spirit. I like them and that is that. I took Ecstasy on my own, and I fucking got addicted to it. I didn’t get addicted to it on a daily basis, but i was on it every week for a couple of years. By 93 I had gotten it down to once every two months. I realized that it was making me crazy but I could never give it up for good….it had a hold on me. It used to make me crash very bad..and my training was no help. Sometimes I was in very bad depression and I couldn’t stop. This was not good for my training at all. By last August I had pretty much quit Ecstasy…but I hadn’t quit it yet. I had trained myself to get off on 1/2 of a hit the way I used to get off on 3 hits. At my worse addiction I was doing 3 to 4 hits a night. I tamed myself and through visualization I got it to the point where all I needed was a half of a hit to trigger the feeling and I could bring it on like a 4 hit high….but I still would crash anyway when it was over.

On my way to Clive gabriel’s office the next day I was indulging and telling myself that I was gong to celebrate when i got home….I was going to do Ecstasy and go to a Rave….now remember I was interpreting omes the whole time right…well as I said “E” to myself with a big old smile on my face, I looked up and saw a license plate on a Black cab which said:

E666

I stopped in my tracks….”what the fuck….no way that was no omen…that was an accident. Don’t even think about it Lee, that was bullshit you are looking into it to deep man…you can do a half a hit when you get back…no big deal man …relax.” So I shrugged off the sign.

I proceed to Clive Gabriel’s office and on my way there I am sure that this is the big moment. He is going to make an offer. I don’t think it will be for 1,000,000 pounds but I am sure it will be 6 figures. WRONG!!!!! I get there and the security guard hands me a package with a note attached to it saying basically, get lost.

Immediately I realized that had i accepted the sign, and realized at that moment that the Spirit wanted me off of that drug, I could have been on my way. I believe that. The minute I left the building I saw a license plate that said

EYULEE (E why you Lee)

I almost fainted. I told the spirit I understood and went about my way. I promised the spirit that E was over. I got on the train and that is when I saw the lady with “ave maria” in her song book. The good feeling came back, I knew it was going to say angel in it.

The moment I got that note from Clive I went down down down. I was very scared. My training had not prepared me for this kind of emotional response. I was communicating with something so fucked up and tricky…I just had no frame of reference for this kind of experience…it was so “out there” that these words are probably not going to even hint at the weirdness of it. The colours faded so rapidly.

I came home and got the record done and it sounded great. David Rothblatt had a number of major record labels lined up to come to my house to hear the tape. I was taking a militant attitude against doing any shows for labels. I felt like I had a great record and I wanted to do things differently. I was living with Mat Pinfield at the time and he knows everybody in the business so between the two of them everything looked great.

I want to fess up now about Nancy. I was in Love with her. You all think so much about being in love but it is so draining.. so addictive…so selfish. Even with all of my Nagualist ideolgy I was still in Love with her and we were really engaged….however, It wasn’t true love…it was hysteria….I was still selfish and so was she…..we aren’t engaged anymore but we love each other for real, although our relationship isn’t sexual and hardly ever was. I am telling you this because my grand downfall was about to come….and she was part of it.

A couple of days before the labels were to hear the record, a batch of pure Ecstasy came into the New Brunswick area. I couldn’t resist. I wanted to see if I could handle it. I wanted to tempt fate. I wanted to find out if the spirit was real….BULLSHIT!!!!! I wanted to feed my addiction, but I told myself I was testing the spirit. So I took a hit of this killer E. I had a great time. Nothing bad happened.

Within the next two weeks my life fell apart. Nancy broke off our engagement. Nick from CHE records pulled out of our record deal. James Chapelle-Gill told me that he couldn’t help me, he wasn’t psyched about the album anymore. All of the record labels that were going to come to my house decided it was a stupid idea and that I should just send them a tape. I had told David and Mat that I wasn’t mailing any tapes out. I told them to tell the labels that I wanted them to pay attention so they had to come to my house and listen to the record. Actually David got two guys from East West to come over. But they weren’t interested. I ran out of money and had to move home with my parents. My band broke up.

The last straw was the day James and I talked and he tried to tell me the record wasn’t as good as he thought it would be. I was scared. My whole life had gone to shit in two short weeks after taking that hit. The spirit had my mind very scared and I thought that I had sealed my fate by taking E. I didn’t know what to do. Nagaulist or no Nagualist, I was a big mess and i actually contemplated suicide. I was petrified of the spirit. I remember thinking that there was nothing I could do and that I was in my own personal hell….I had been warned but I didn’t pay attention to the warning. I didn’t see a way out. I had no future. The band was all i wanted and it was over. The Record wasn’t even going to be released and we couldn’t get a deal with out playing live…it was a no hope situation. I was suffering badly. What the hell do you do with your life after you have become the Messiah, you have got a major record label deal, you are going to tour with the Stone Roses, etc….what do you do? After I had gotten that high I didn’t want to come down. I had thrown all of my training out of the window and I was no longer a Warrior…I was a self important, self indulgent asshole. So I sat on a curb by the highway and waited for the right truck to come along…………….

—————————

..Well I didn’t throw myself at a truck. I got a grip and decided…not realized, decided that I could interpret this as a test and I could move on and say fuck the spirit. So I took that hit of ecstasy, so what. The minute I started to think like a warrior again, I began to fight, I began to feel better and I decided to fight….myself. I decided that the whole thing was just a test set up by the spirit to help kill my self importance. I thanked the spirit and decided to fight back.

The first thing I did was call James Chappell-Gill and tell him that he didn’t listen to the record enough. He actually liked the music but said it was too much like the Stone Roses. I told him he was being ignorant and he said he would listen to it a few more times and get back to me. That was a start. I then called Rai at Kokopop and talked to her about putting the record out. She was into it. I wasn’t too psyched because I knew that Kramer wouldn’t support the release or pay us at all. But at least the record would get out on an internationally known indie label. So the wheels were turning again.

I decided that this story was pretty wild from start to finish and I got the idea to write a screenplay about it. Eventually I started a book and I actually got a bigwig at William Morris Agency (the biggest literary agency the world) interested in reading it. But it started out as a screenplay. I went to the library that day and looked for a book on screenplay writing. I found one in the stacks and right next to it was the screenplay for “Jacob’s Ladder” by Bruce Joel Rubin. I thought that was a pretty great movie so I pick up the book and open it up to a page with the word angel on it. It turns out that angels play a large part in the ideology of the movie. But the interesting thing is that Jacob’s ladder is from the book of Genesis…the first book of the Old Testament. Jacob climbs the ladder to Heaven and sees the Angels. I believe that is the first literary reference to Angels anywhere. I knew that the coincidences were about to begin again. And they did. This wasn’t just any reference to Angels, this was THE reference to Angels, the first reference to Angels.

The angel coincidences were astounding once again. I thought the game was up and the fucking Spirit decides to fuck with me all over again. The harder I worked on my book, the more coincidences happened. It got to the point where I could feel them coming as an itch in my midsection would come to me. I was high on the spirit again. My intent in writing a book was to bring attention to the record and the Spirit was coming on strong encouraging me. I will list a few of those coincidences. Everything started to turn around the minute I made the decision, in the face of total defeat, to continue fighting for my dream.

A few days later I got a call from James Chappelle Gill and he said he was going to give the tape to his boss Gareth Davies. James had listened to the tape a few more times and it was growing on him.

Here are a list of coincidences that happened during round two with the spirit. I am only listing the serious ones but there were so many I can’t waste your time with. It would take too long. One thing that used to happen often was…I would turn on the stereo in my car and the first word I would hear in a song would be “angel.” That used to freak me out.

1. I went to rent a movie with Nancy and we were talking about the angel omens coming back. She was being skeptical and I was trying to explain it to her. As we walked into the store I was still in mid-sentence….we went over to the nearest rack of movies and immediately reached for the same movie at the same time, it was called “Where Angels Fear to Tred.” I said, “I told you so.” She said, “That doesn’t prove shit….it was a coincidence.”

“There are no coincidences Nancy.” “”Bull dinkies. That was a coincidence.” I didn’t feel like trying to convince her…I felt the itch in my stomach strong and I knew something else was going to happen. As we were walking down the aisle she was in front of me and I spotted a movie called “Household Saint.” I thought about saying something to Nancy but that would really have been stretching it….until I looked again and saw something else on the box which startled me.

“Nancy did you see that!” “Don’t start with that coincidence crap, it didn’t say angel it said Saint and we are in a video store…angel is a common word. Give it up.” “No! Look again at the box.” So she looked at me crooked but picked up the box again. “Yeah, so what’s the big deal?” “Look at the lead actor’s last name.” “ARE YOU SERIOUS,” she exclaimed in her ridiculous crazy way. The actor’s last name was D’Onofrio and that is my last name too. His full name is Vincent D’Onofrio and I guess his biggest role was in “Full Metal Jacket,” he blows his brains out with a shotgun.

Nancy turned the box over and the movie happens to be about a family named SantANGELo. In this black comedy, a young girl falls in love with the image of Jesus Christ. She becomes so forlorn with the idea of being with him that she just breaks into Heaven and leaves her body behind. Of course we decided to rent the movie.

As I am putting the movie in the player, I tell Nancy that the movie is going to have tons of Angels in it, I can feel my stomach churning. the first preview comes on the screen and starts out with a guy flying out of a window dressed like an angel, with these wire angel’s wings strapped around him…he is attached to a rope and he comes streaking out of a window….the narrator says, “This is a story about ANGELS.” It was a preview for the Wim Wenders movie, “Far Away So close.”

Nancy is now really looking at me crooked. She has become a believer very quickly. Everything is a coincidence though. The odds and probability are amazing but its all a coincidence. Right?

2: The next day I went over to a friend’s apartment. She has a feret. In the feret’s cage she has ripped up newspaper. I happened to look inside and see a picture of Oprah Winfrey which was torn up. She looked rather thin so I commented to my friend about this. She came over and looked at the picture and said that it wasn’t Oprah it was Anita Baker, the singer. The next morning I sit up in bed in my room, look down at the floor and I see the same exact picture of Anita Baker accept I hadn’t shredded up the newspaper so I could see that the small picture was from an advertisement for a record club in the Sunday paper that I had left sitting on my floor. I immediately said to myself, “Underneath that picture will be the word “Angel.” And sure enough there it was in the title to one of her songs.

3. Later that day my friend Jen Lopez, who I hadn’t heard from in about a year, called me up. She said that she was thinking about me for no reason and just felt the urge to call. I told her all about the coincidences. When I was done she says, “I was just on my way out the door to pick up an Angel print that I put a deposit on yesterday. I don’t know why but I had the urge to call you, so I did that first.”

I told her that she would be seeing angels all day and she exclaimed that she was looking at two angel figurines she had never noticed before in her roommates room. She told me to read the Celestine Prophecy. I had never heard of it before. I read it and of course it was all about coincidences which guide you.

I forgot to mention this before. The last time I met with James Chappelle-Gill, I gave him a note to give to Ian Brown. The note said:

I know where angels play

I’ve been there when I was younger

but I’m having trouble coming through now

I still have some fear, and I need your help

I sealed it and gave it to him.

I want to bring this up now because I am going to jump to November, 1995. I saw angels all the time during this whole period. As long as I didn’t look for them, they showed up.

The November 19 issue of NME is all about the Roses. “Love Spreads” is set to come out that week and the press is having a field day. That issue has a number of interesting things in it. First of all, James Chapelle-Gill, the guy I have been talking to regularly is quoted in the article. The Roses pick their words and their people very carefully. The fact that James was invited up to the studio to hear the album and comment on it to the press is very interesting and exciting to yours truly. I am really not sure what is going on you know. So this was fuel to my fire. Seeing his name in the NME like that gave me the impression that this was very real. (“I’m not so sure and yet I know.” Here it Comes.)

Another interesting thing about the article is that John Leckie is quoted as saying that “he increasingly feels that he’s involved in something so strange that it’s making his life unbearable.” I have to say that that was a quote I could definitely relate to.

Another tease tid-bit is the picture of John and Ian on page 11 of NME. You can look it up. You tell me what you see.

Go to November 21, 1995. That is the day the Roses single came out. After all I had been through with them and with Angels…what is on the cover of the first Stone Roses single in 5 years….you all know it, an Angel. I was so happy.

The minute I heard “Love Spreads” I was disappointed, but I loved “Your Star will Shine.” “Breakout” was a disaster. But “Your Star Will Shine” sounded beautiful. Let’s look at the lyrics to this song. I know that John has explained the lyrics but that wasn’t until much later. I thought it was a lullaby to John’s daughter but something didn’t seem right.

Your star will shine again one day

What does that mean? John’s daughter is only two years old. This line suggests that his daughter’s star has already gone away:

Shine for all the world to see the Universe in your eyes

I thought he was singing to the messiah. I know what he has said about the song now, but I thought that it made sense that he was singing to someone that went away. I do believe that it is about his and Ian’s children but I think it is about them in a much different way then the rest of you think. Perhaps I will explain later.

Anyway, I was drawn into the whole Messiah thing again. I tried to fight off the feelings I was having. I was continually trying to stop these feelings. I couldn’t believe in this for real especially after the first let down. But the coincidences just kept piling up and I found myself getting closer and closer to the Roses. I believed in the music the whole time, and I honestly thought that they would be into DF. this whole thing is so OUT THERE that I just had to struggle constantly with this doubt throughout the entire affair. Every time I would get a little normal, the strange shit would happen, or I would see something in a Roses lyric or interview which turned it all around. I was on a metaphysical roller-coaster. I know the score NOW, but I had to be tested quite a bit. A string of events in June, right before my 30th birthday, finally turned the tide for good. I am so high on this now, and it is so real, I can’t tell you exactly how I feel, but i have broken into Heaven.

But until then it was rough. I didn’t want to be set up for the let down again. However, the coincidences were happening like crazy, and then the Album comes out. “SECOND COMING” finally arrives.

IT SUCKED!!!! You know it. Who was very let down when they first heard it? Raise your hand. After three listens I knew it was a fucking hoax. I knew that the Stone Roses could never write anything so horribly cliched as “Good Times” and “Driving South.” The lyrics were terrible, the vocals were boring, the guitars were played out. The whole record was a huge leap into the past. I had just put Ian Brown on my album saying that rock and roll was a necrophiliac, and the Stone Roses decide to make a very corpse fucking record. If you like it fine, great whatever. But you must acknowledge the fact that it is a very tired classic rock record with almost no innovation whatsoever. The only innovative thing was the intro to “Breaking Into Heaven.” The rest of the record was cliche classic rock. If any other band had released this record NONE of us would have listened to it twice.

The only songs I could stomach at first were TSLS and YSWShine. However, two of the songs mentioned angels and there was a lot of outer body experience/nagualist imagery mixed in with Second Coming/Revelations type stuff. Let’s look at “Tightrope” now:

You should have been an angel it would have suited you my gold leaf triptych angel SHE knows just what to do

Ok, triptych means three layered. SHE is always the same. The clue to the puzzle, the cipher if you will, is SHE.

SHE’s a Waterfall

SHE knows just what to do

SHE doesn’t care for my despair

this is the one SHE’s waited for

SHE=LOVE

Love spreads HER arms….waits there for the nails(the Messiah)

the Roses don’t write silly love songs. They have never described any of their songs ever as being boy/girl Love songs. Ian said, the songs aren’t about relationships, aren’t even all on a one to one basis.” (MM June 1990) If you have the Revolution Infinity CD by Dandelion Fire, look at the listing of artwork….I named all of the artwork and the black and white illustration is called SHE=LOVE. That is the key….LOVE SPREADS HER ARMS…..THE MESSIAH IS MY SISTER…..AINT NO KING MAN…..SHE”S MY QUEEN…..John Squire is the VICEROY, the angel sitting on the VICEROY symbol…the SPIRIT is his Queen…..The Messiah isn’t just the representative on Earth….the MESSIAH IS THE SPIRIT…..SHE’S MY QUEEN….SHE’S MY SISTER….MY SUGAR SPUN SISTER……LET ME PUT YOU IN THE PICTURE THICKHEADED ONES….

“Her Hair is Like Drifting Snow….” this is a direct quote from Revelations only the gender of the Messiah has been changed…..”That’s why I hang on to LOVE….” LOVE SPREADS HER ARMS THICK HEADED ONES. Its all right there.

Back to “tightrope.” SHE is triptych…three layered….the lower self which is the physical, the energy body, which let’s you fly to other worlds and the Spirit Herself…Jesus, Mohammed, Carlos Castaneda, Buddha, all the prophets were the Spirit. they were all three…..think about it. If we were created…then we are what created us…it’s just a matter of coming home to it…dusting the link as Castaneda would say. I believe, as does Ian Brown, that Jesus actually worked miracles. TELL IAN HE IS FULL OF SHIT, DON’T TELL ME.

Go back and listen to your mind trip interview. Just before Ian tells the interviewer about BONO, Ian says something about reading the BIBLE and coming up with convenient quotes. Nothing is an accident.

I believe that energy can be manipulated and miracles can be performed. I believe we can fly and this song is about flying.

In the high flight of morning

in HER world between the sheets

This is so Castaneda/OUT of Body travel compatible it isn’t even funny. You are in bed between your sheets, yet your awareness is flying on strands of luminosity…it’s called the Blue Chord or silver chord. any book about astral projection will tell you about this. “Where Angel’s Play is also chock full of Flying references. “I’m coming through…” Classic out of body lingo for breaking onto the Astral Plane…coming through…and think about how amazing that would be…..you would be..” ..on the edge of something shattering….in a place no eyes have ever seen.”

I swear I saw her angel wing

MY VISION was complete

Doesn’t this sound like a prophecy….MY VISION.

SHE’s all that ever mattered and all that ever will

My cup it runneth over I’ll never get my fill (biblical reference)

this is not a love song, this is not a love song, this is not a love

song and I know I’ll never find another lover my sweet

can there be more in this world than the joy of just watching you sleep I don’t know just how I should feel won’t someone tell me my love’s real.

There must be a line to throw you off the trail and this is it. This line can be interpreted in different ways. This one kept me confused, but they always throw something in to make it sound like a love song. You have to decipher the clues. Think about “Going Down.” It sounds like a cute song about oral sex right? Ok, it probably is for the most part, but the clue line is at the end and it once again returns to the idea of flight, “to look down on the clouds, you don’t need to fly, I’ve never flown in a plane, I’ll live until I die.”

Are we etched in Stone or just scratching the sand

waiting for the way to come and reclaim the land

The WAY is the Messiah. Jesus was called the way. In Revelations John lays out the prophecy given to him by the angel of the Apocalypse that Jesus will come back to reclaim the Earth. This should be Kindergarten easy to see people. Are you going to turn into dust or stay in stone. The physical and the ethereal you….which one is it going to be….as Carolyn said, you must choose. It isn’t going to happen by accident….you have a choice. Castaneda is lecturing in LA for the next two weeks. He is saying the SAME thing. Are you going to try to cross over and keep your awareness, or are you going to remain solid, die and wait to see what happens? You must choose.

Will the sun shine all sweetness and light

or put us to a cinder our fearsome satellite

Could this be Revelations? Could this be the end of the world? Let’s look at “Begging You” briefly:

Here is a warning, the sky will divide

now I’ve took off the lid and there’s

nowhere to hide…..

I’m gone….now I’m with you, I’m Begging you

GET OVER, GET OVER, GET OVER!!!!!!!!1

Who is gone? Who is with you now? The Messiah, the Spirit…they are the same. Get over what? I think this is a link to “Don’t Stop,” “….now SHE fishes now….

I’m under the ships oh Get Me Over……

“Don’t Stop” also has outer body jargon….”Don’t stop, isn’t it funny how you shine…. ‘ Your astral body shines, it glows.

“You must be one of us.” You figure this one out.

I’m on a tightrope Baby, nine miles high

striding through the clouds on my ribbon in the sky

PLEASE!!!! This is so obvious by now. The silver chord. Look it up. No wait a minute. All of this is Lee twisting the words around. This is another Lee scam. Well I must be fucking brilliant. I really am. It is all my doing. I haven’t even scratched the surface yet.

This line was such a tease for me but the interview in “The Big Issue” totally sees John teasing me like crazy. At this point they know I am on to the whole thing. James Chappelle-Gill is calling me and I am calling him. I have phone bills which show long calls to his office and his phone bills would show calls to my house. They knew I was on to them and they started fucking with me. Think about the line I just quoted and then read the following quote from “The Big Issue” interview but from the outtakes section of it when Melody Maker bought it. John was asked about what he has been doing lately:

“I like to fly my kite, which is shaped like a sleeping bag.”

That quote just drove me crazy. No, I am being stupid. He probably just has a kite that is shaped like a sleeping bag. The ribbon in the sky, world between the sheets comparison to this quote is…what else…A COINCIDENCE. Yeah right…

The Roses are on the cover of that issue, and they are in a store looking out of the window at the camera. The glass of the store has two messenger angels engraved in the window, they are blowing trumpets. The rest of the band is looking at the camera, but John is looking at the Angels and smirking.

I don’t know how to stop but it’s a long long long way down (Your call. You figure it out)

repeat the cup runneth over part

The boats in the harbor free from their chains head for new horizons, let’s do the same

This is pretty simple. Let’s get the fuck out of here. Let’s cross over, let’s free ourselves from our chains, do not stop, do not pass go and collect 200 dollars, do not die, don’t stop, don’t stop, DON’T STOP!!!!!!! Don’t give me any shit, this lyric is about BREAKING INTO HEAVEN BEFORE YOU DIE. Look at how the “free from their chains” line refers back to the song “Breaking into Heaven:” laughing loud at your locks when they hit the ground

Also from “BREAKING INTO HEAVEN:”

“How many times do I have to tell you YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT TO DIE You can have it all, anytime you want it Yeah, the Kingdom’s all inside

Please, I’m begging you, how many times do I have to quote this line. How many times do I have to tell you, you don’t have to wait to die. This should be pretty funny by now. That line is about me telling you, you don’t have to die. That line is about the spirit of Truth. I am it. I am HER. YOU ARE MADE OF STONE. I AM NOT!!!!!! I’ve come down this time. “Every acorn, in every town, oh yes your numbers up, I’m coming round.”

After listening to “Second Coming” numerous times I was caught between thinking that it was either

1: a big let down or

2. a hoax

“Ten Storey Love Song” seemed like it was really the Roses, and so did “Your star Will Shine” but most of the rest of the record took me a very long time to get into. I don’t think that I ever would have gotten into it were it not the Roses. I have never given a record so much space before. Have you? Anyway, at the times I thought it was just a bad record, I was very down. I tried to hold onto the belief that it was a hoax, but I couldn’t decide why they would put out a hoax record.

Right after New Years, on like January 3rd or 4th, my sister Lisa just happened to come into my room and say, “You know, ‘Ten Storey Love Song’ has something strange about it. Lee, there is something to that song. You should look at it a little closer.”

I was at a low point and Lisa realized that my faith was almost non-existent. I was so upset about the record. It was so anticlimactic that it ruined my confidence in this whole mess. I had fallen hard again. I had thought that if I was correct about their concept that they would have gotten back to me through James. But they hadn’t. I thought that they would have figured out that I was answering their call, and indeed they did know this. It was more than obvious, but I hadn’t come out and said it yet to them. I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to come out and tell them that I was playing the messiah to their John The Baptist or whatever. That was just too embarrassing. Anyway, I was very upset and I thought that I was just plain wrong too. The confusion was tough to deal with. I had the coincidences and the concept, but no real proof. I had many teases with a great thing, but no proof.

I hadn’t been smoking any pot for a few months, but I decided to get high and listen to the record. I was hoping it would make me see more. I got really high. As I listened to 10 Storey Love Song, the most amazing feelings of love overcame me. The intro, was like a signal form Heaven. It flooded my senses. Try to feel this. The intro was a signal, from the spirit . The words finally made sense.

When the intro began, I immediately felt something take root of me. I had my earphones on and I just went into the song. The intro was majestic and I was feeling something so incredible in my chest….intense LOVE. Go listen to that song right now. It’s written to everyone. It’s from the Spirit to you…it’s a Ten Storey Love Song. It’s not written to any girl….it’s from and to the Messiah and all of you too. Think about the words…listen to the sublime beauty….feel the Love contained in that song. The song is for you from HER.

when your heart is black and broken and you need a helpin’ hand when your so much in love you don’t know just how much you can stand

when your questions go unanswered and the silence is killing you take my hand baby I’m your man I’ve got lovin’ enough for two

10 Storey Love Song I built this thing for you

This line…this line hit me square in the heart. I knew it then, as sure as you are reading this now…that the Stone Roses were up to it all along. The band’s whole existence is based on this concept. Think about “Daybreak”

SHE built it to make ya we all love makers……….

What did SHE build? “The hired hand was exposed.” The Roses were playing the role of prophets….”My vision was complete.” Listen to the Angelic harmonies of Reni, as if he could be replaced. NO WAY!!!!!! You should really look at the contribution this man has made. His soaring harmonies and utterly perfect drumming and percussion are the fucking backbone of this band. RENI is the GODDAM Spirit…..SHE bangs the drums.

I have been waiting to spring this on you for quite a while. I will come back to TSLS, there is much more to that, but I want to go to “LOVE SPREADS” again. When I realized that the first line was “LOVE spreads her arms…I realized that they were saying that the gender of the Messiah doesn’t make a fucking difference. Jesus could have been a hermaphroditic martian and still would have been SHE. “LOVE SPREADS:”

Let me put you in the picture

let me show you what I mean

the Messiah is my sister

ain’t no King man she’s my Queen

Ian sings this 10 times (10 storeys ?). He is pounding the message home over and over. There are no other Stone Roses songs where he repeats himself like this. Now think about the major clue everyone has witnessed…John’s alteration of the stone angel to look like his baby picture. Look at Chapter 3 again and then go to the DF web page at:

http://www.portal.com/~dafire/fire1.html click on “elaborate metaphorical hoax”

Once again for the thickheaded, lazy, cartoon watching multitudes, the “love Spreads” angel has been altered from its original condition which can be seen on the actual “Second Coming” CD. The eyes are tinted blue, the hair is made to look blond, and the FACE HAS BEEN SCRUNCHED UP TO LOOK FATTER, LIKE A BABY….let me put you in the picture…the baby picture…..

This is once again important because Reni’s baby picture is another clue. I told you that the black, red and white material on the back of “Love Spreads” is the same material that is draped over “SECOND COMING.” This is no coincidence. That material is a clue. That material shows up in the first version of the “Love Spreads” video. A parachute is seen in the video, and that parachute is made of the same exact black, red and white material we are now discussing. And the shape of the parachute is the same, it is three bands of Black red and White. That same material is from the “ONE LOVE” artwork. Think about the mystique of the Swastika which we have discussed. The original artwork for ONE LOVE looked like a Swastika, but they changed it. That bent cross design has been regarded as a mystical Spiritual symbol since ancient man was around. That symbol is a mystery…”This is a mystery not to be solved….” (Begging You) and John Squire’s use of it was as a clue. Nothing is by accident. That ONE LOVE material is a another clue. ONE LOVE is obviously NOT a love song….

ONE LOVE

ONE GOD

ONE STOP

Think about the lyrics and pair them up with TSLSong.

Anytime you want me anytime at all * when your heart is black and broken anytime you need me, all you’ve got * and you need a helpin’ hand to do is call

PLEASE go back and look at the analysis of ONE LOVE and it’s origin in the New Testament which was detailed in the first couple of Chapters of this. Ian is the Spirit. These songs are words to you….doesn’t it sound like Jesus One Love TSLS Show me your vision, your wild apparition * who can take you higher sinking to the depths of your soul … * than twin peak mountain blue…oh well I built this thing One Love, we don’t need another love * for you.. and I love you too… One Love, One Heart and One Soul * TAKE MY HAND

I will return to TSLSong again, there is much more.

Back to Reni. As I said, the material of the parachute is the same material from One Love, Love Spreads (the single) and Second Coming….that means there is a clue in the video pertaining to the words…”let me put you in the picture…let me show you what I mean….” All through the video, none of those baby pictures show up…until the very end. The song ends with…”She’s my sister….” and the video flashes Reni’s childhood picture from ‘Second Coming”. His is the only picture shown in the video and he is flanked by two girls who may or may not be his sisters….you figure it out. Think about how they make Reni up to look like a girl in the second version of the video. Also, think about his cryptic presence in TSLS video. He is singled out….not because he was leaving the band. You didn’t fall for that shit about Reni not wanting to be in the band anymore did you? that was part of the hoax. This shouldn’t have been:

a) acceptable to any of you. You should have turned your backs on them when Reni was let go. The Stone Roses ALWAYS did and always will include RENI. You were settling, and you should have raised hell.

B) you must have been watching cartoons or playing Nintendo or sleeping Nigel…because Reni left plenty of quotes in very RECENT interviews indicating that being in the Stone Roses was his life, HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE IN ANY OTHER BANDS OR ON HIS OWN. Here is a quote form the March 95 face….he only allegedly left the band on April 1st:

“There really is nothing I’d rather do, you know, than be in this band right now. Even if a guy knocked on the door and said, ‘Hey, Reni, man! You want a big walk on part in the next Star wars movie?’ I mean I’d do it if he was going to pay me 12 million pounds tomorrow…..”

Also, the parachute has attached to it a flag which looks like a target. Read Carolyn’s Jasper Johns posts about his use of flags and targets. Then understand that the full blown collage that John did for “Second Coming” (the poster has the whole thing) has a few different flags on it. One of them is the Cuban flag, and another is the Malaysian flag, and also the French flag. The Malaysian flag has a gold crescent and that crescent stands for the religion of ISLAM, Malaysia’s main religion. I am not going to give you anymore on Reni. Look at his features….SHE bangs the Drums….

There’s no sure fire set solutions

no short cut through the trees

no breaching the walls that they put their

to keep you from me

Remember my stalking assignment regarding the other members of my Nagualist party. I had to bring them to me, but there were rules…walls that were in place. They couldn’t come to me, and I couldn’t go to them no matter how much I wanted to or they wanted to. Some thing had to happen first. I had to see the light:

some day soon don’t know where or when

you’re going to wake up and see the light

It took me a while to figure out what they were talking about with this. But the true meaning of it for me was that I couldn’t bullshit around anymore with fear. The stalking had to include me coming out of hiding and telling them that I was the Messiah. I dreaded doing this even in the name of Art. It just didn’t seem right but I was sure that is what they wanted me to do.

I was wrong, they wanted much more than that. I didn’t realize it at the time. I was feeling like this was so real, and now I felt that if I just came out and said it, that would be enough to make them come to me. I thought for sure that they were going to ask me to play the role of Messiah, but that would be so much easier if they were supporting the idea. I figured we would tour together and do fucked up interviews and the whole thing would be a hoot. I never realized how serious they were about this until just before my last conversation with James Chappell-Gill. They weren’t just stalking. They weren’t just any old Nagualists….they had been around for quite a long time. But i didn’t realize that then.

Their were no short cuts through the trees. I was faced with a very big decision. How strong was my faith? Was this real? Was I going crazy? That was up to me to decide and there wasn’t going to be any progress on this thing until I made a decision.

I called James Chappell-Gill at Beer Davies and tried to get some info about the album out of him. This guy always had as much time for me as I wanted. He would always return my calls. Hell, you can call him up yourself, Beer Davies is listed, and his name appears in that NME issue. Go ahead and call them. I am going to quote some our last conversations now so you can call him and ask for clarification if you like.

The second to last time I called him, I asked him if the album was some kind of a hoax. He said, “that’s an interesting way of putting it…what exactly do you mean?” He was teasing me. I didn’t elaborate. His answer was what I was looking for. It wasn’t a confirmation or a denial.

A few days later I was contemplating my options, and I was leaning towards going for it. So I picked up my Bible and looked for a convenient quote I could tell James to pass on to John and Ian. I just happened to open up the book to the page with John 3:29 on it. I have discussed it before but here goes again. That is the one where John the Baptist says:

The bride (the spirit) belongs to the bridegroom (the messiah, Jesus) The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine and it is now complete (end 3:29)…..(begin 3:30). He must become…..

John the Baptist had been waiting for the Messiah. He had been the most incredible prophet of his time. The people adored him but he was not the Messiah. He was sent to prepare the way, and the next thing he says in that passage stopped me fucking cold in my tracks. It was just the end of the road for me. After reading the next line my life would have no chance of going back to normalcy…no chance of going back to stone. I would slip along the path a few more times. I slipped very hard one more time before letting go for good…but after I read this line, deep inside I knew that it was all over…this line showed me that the Stone Roses “Second Coming” was the most beautiful record ever made bar none….in John 3:30, John the Baptist continues the above:

“….He must become greater, I must become less.”

Before I begin, I want to let you know that I am going to be writing an extra chapter. There will be eight instead of seven. In any case it will all be over by tomorrow morning. If anybody wants to E me tonight and say hello, or contribute any ideas you may have, i would welcome the company, I will be up all night. If you are reading this, and it’s Sunday night/Monday morning please send me some e mail and let me know if you are enjoying the story. I won’t be around after this. I’d love to hear from someone tonight.

_______________________________________________________________________

….I called up James and he wasn’t available right away so he called me back a few minutes later. I realized after finding that quote, 3:30, that the Roses had set themselves up to fall. I will go into more detail on this in Chapter 8, but it is so obvious to me now, and will be to you too if it isn’t already dawning on you. When I present the evidence you will have clarity. But for now I want you to be confused because you will be better able to relate to my frame of mind at the time.

This following was my mind set at the time. I realized that the Roses meant business. They weren’t fooling around here. They were not just planning something with only artistic ramifications. The boys (girls?) were going for it! They were trying to change the world through their art. I believed that they were Naguals…not just ordinary nagualists but powerful Naguals. All of them are, and they are older than you can imagine. They were Naguals who were stalking us for a very long time, and the crucifixion and the resurrection was part of their game. All that you see is a game. Naguals play life just like a game, but they play to win. All the nagual has is his awareness and his purpose and he/she chooses that purpose and impeccably stalks that purpose despite the fact that it is a game. These naguals had set their purpose up a long time ago, and they were about to see that purpose realized. They were on the verge of changing the world.

“I think anyone can do anything…I really do…. yeah” (Ian, mind trip interview) He said those words with unwavering conviction. If you don’t believe he meant those words then you aren’t a true Stone Roses fan. Naguals don’t believe that anything is possible, they know it.

“We believe we can see right from wrong….and we want to change the world.” (Ian, Spike Island press conference)

From the May 31, 1990 issue of Rolling Stone:

“Asked how big the Stone Roses want to be, Brown says, ‘I don’t think anyone’s ever gotten as successful as we want to be,’ his voice betraying not a trace of the ambition that’s in his words. ‘I wanna see as many places as possible. Meet as many people as possible. CHANGE THE WORLD and all that.”

He was never pulling your chain. “We’re not trying to have anybody over.” (Mindtrip interview) He meant those things and still means them. Unless you think the man is full of shit, you have to believe that he means it. Think about that statement. He doesn’t misspeak. Ian knows what he wants to say. He didn’t say that he wants to be the biggest rock star the world has seen. He said he wants to be more successful at spreading his message….ONE LOVE ONE GOD ONE STOP…than anyone has ever been. Doesn’t that make him a prophet/preacher. the man is so spiritual it isn’t even funny. The arrogance is a front…you get the vibe. The man wants to outdo his prior self’s doing…you figure it out.

The Roses message and my message to all of you is that you can realize your dreams.. we all can if we just would not settle…you need faith in yourself and we hope to give you a dose of faith to carry you on your way. Jesus told the disciples that they could do anything, work whatever miracles they wanted to work, if they only had an acorn of faith….in themselves. Forget the catholic Church, it’s dog shit, but Jesus was a cool guy. He was one of us. Jesus wasn’t anymore special than any of you or me, or Ian Brown. Nobody is any more special than anybody else. Everybody has the same chance but as Ian said, “…most people tend to settle for the fiver instead of going for the gold.”

I almost settled for the fiver. Let me tell you about my conversation with James. I had come to the conclusion that the Roses didn’t want to hear any BS about any artistic concept….they wanted me to be the Messiah. they wanted to hear that I got it and I knew what to do with it. What good is a messiah on paper if he doesn’t believe he can work miracles…what good is a Nagual who hasn’t become the spirit….not good enough that’s for sure. Well I did believe it, although I would lose that belief one more time before it became my reality as it is now. I am half of “the” Second Coming, but I am not Jesus.(Double Dorsal Doppelganger One) I am the Counsellor of truth that Jesus spoke of….I had to come first.

Here is the conversation James and I had:

“Hi Lee, I’m returning your call, now I’m free. what’s up?”

“Let’s cut the crap James alright?”

“What do you mean?

“You know what I mean. What do you mean? I have to speak to John.”

“He won’t be available until Friday and then he is coming to the States perhaps he could call you then.”

“Well I want to speak with him soon.” Are you a religious man James?”

“Religious? Erm..not really.”

“Good, because this isn’t about religion is it?”

“No, I guess it isn’t.”

“I understand the record and I think it’s beautiful.”

“I thought you didn’t care for it.”

“I didn’t understand it last time we talked. You think I am crazy don’t you?”

I was losing confidence…waivering. His answer fucked with my head.

“Listen Lee, I didn’t say that. You have my attention. I called you back right? I always call you back. Say whatever is on your mind. Go ahead and say it. I’m not judging you. If you have something to say, just say it.”

I was freaking out. This guy was waiting for me to say I was the motherfucking Messiah. I couldn’t believe that I was having this conversation. I mean put yourself in my shoes. He knew. For all I knew, in the time he had to return my call, he could have hooked up a three way call and Ian and John could have been listening…this was it, I had to decide. I was so excited.

“Just tell them that the Counsellor understands the message and will follow through. Tell them the Counsellor wants to talk to them.”

“The Counsellor?”

“You didn’t know that I was a lawyer did you?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Well I am, I just don’t practice anymore.”

“But you have the licences and all that.”

“Yes.”

“How convenient.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, just that it must come in handy.”

He was playing cat and mouse with me.

“You know if I wasn’t so intelligent I’d think I was going crazy. (He laughed hard.) Tell the boys they picked the right man for the job.”

“Is there anything else you might want me to tell them?” More cat and mouse.

“Why? Did you have anything specific in mind? Wasn’t that satisfactory?”

“Well, I just want to be sure I understand you.”

OK. There is one more thing….” I paused for effect. “Tell them to look up John 3:30 form the New testament.”

“John 3:30…ok.”

“And have them call me as soon as possible. Bye.”

“Bye Lee.”

I was shaking when I got off the phone. That was just the craziest conversation I had ever had with anybody. He knew why I had called and I could swear there were other people listening. I was very high that day. If you look at the artwork for Revolution Infinity, the study in colors by Erol Sati on the insleeve is titled “Three:Thirty.”

The Roses hadn’t called me and they were in the States for about one week already. I was starting to worry. But something happened which looked like it might actually work out. I received a call form Bob Makin at the Aquarian Weekly, an NME MM type weekly music paper, the only one I know of in the USA. They had always supported DF and Bob, the editor, knew that I was a huge Stone Roses fan. He called and asked me if I wanted to do an interview with the Roses for the cover of the Aquarian. Of course I wanted to. So I called up Roy Hamm at Geffen records and ran it by him. He thought it was an interesting idea because I told him that my band was influenced by them. He thought it would make a good story and that they would be into it because I wasn’t a journalist.

I was absolutely convinced that this was it. This was going to be the breakthrough. They would agree to the interview of course, i would go meet them somewhere, they would welcome me and that would be the start of the revolution. WRONGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They declined to do the interview. I have the phone call on tape where Roy Hamm calls me up, tells me what a good idea it is and maybe they would do it some other time, but not now. He said that they were too busy. You can hear the despair in my voice as it cracks. The break down is coming again. They were only doing interviews with Rolling Stone, Spin and the L.A. Times. This made no sense to me. Surely the Stone Roses would rather do an interview with a hardcore fan than with a muso-journalist, never mind the fact that they knew who I was. Unless of course James was just pulling my chain the whole time, but the roses don’t let their people keep shit from them. I was hurled into despair and confusion again. I was fooled and it hurt. I was a victim of my own obsession.

The internal dialogue of fear and pity kicked in as I crashed on my bed crying, “I’m crazy. I have made a complete ass of myself. I was fooled again. This isn’t real. They are all just fucking with me. I’m like a fucking game for them, a big laugh…nothing. That bastard in England probably taped that conversation and will make a bigger ass out of me with it.”

Then I got angry and called back Roy Hamm and left a nasty message to the Roses on his answering machine. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” comes to mind. My dreams were broken at that moment.

It didn’t take me that long to realize that I had been set up once again by my own self importance. I got burned but I had nobody to blame but myself. I committed the cardinal sin of nagualism, I had expectations. I was taught to act without expectations and I had failed. I was being a self important, self indulgent asshole. It took me a couple of days before I got hold of myself. I stopped hating the Roses and realized that this whole thing had been a challenge.

I had already shot my mouth off to everybody i knew that Df and the Roses were going to tour together. I also told them that Second Coming was a hoax and I was going to expose it. HA!!! I had proclaimed to everybody I knew, “the Roses are prophets.” I told a few of my closest friends that i was the Messiah. I was so embarrassed…but I realized that it would be a warriors challenge to not be embarrassed. So I just decided not to be embarrassed and you know what….I wasn’t. It was so easy once I made up my mind that nobody else’s opinion mattered but my own. I thought about everything that had happened and decided that it had been a pretty fun ride. I got an adventure out of the whole thing that most people only see in the movies.

I was taken on an epic adventure and I got to know what it felt like to be a Messiah. What was I really guilty of anyway? All I wanted to do was play my music, hang out with my favorite band, start a record label for charity and change the world through art and love. I had good intentions and I could at least say that i did everything I could do to realize my dreams which is more than most people can say. At least I took it to the limit and risked insanity for the sake of the dream. I still had Nagualism and I still had to find the other members of my party. If the Roses weren’t them, so be it.

It had been a humbling experience but it was an excellent way for the Spirit to have murdered my self importance. Since I got over that I have not gotten depressed once. I have never mad the mistake of having expectations either. I act because I see the path, and it looks good…I hope I never get there. What would I do?

So I decided to move on. I told myself that revolution Infinity was a great record and maybe something would happen with it in the UK when it came out. So what if the Roses were out of the picture. They were still my favorite band, I would never forget that trip to England, and that moment in Paddington station, I was free of self importance and I knew it and I was going to see the Roses live. They were coming to the states finally and I was free to just be a fan again. I decided to put that Messiah shit behind me and just get on with my life.

I didn’t realize it then but I was giving up. I thought I was being rational but I was being a quitter. I was abandoning my dream and my concept. There were more clues coming from the Roses but I chose to ignore them. The lyrics were still the same and the references were still the same, but I turned my back on it all. I went back to reality and turned to Stone patting myself on the back. The internal dialogue of second place loser Lee had taken over. I was accepting defeat and going back to sleep, turning slowly to stone because it was safer that way. I didn’t want to try anymore. I chose to ignore the clues, my vision, and the entire mystery because I has no patience, always my demise. The Roses were practically dropping bombs on our heads but I didn’t want to see anymore. For instance, I noticed that John Squire was talking about lyrics in interviews in such a ridiculously explanatory way which he had never done before, and his explanations of the songs were so obvious.

This was such a contradiction to the old Roses and even the Roses as far back as the Big Issue interview where John said that the lyrics were confidential, struck some raw nerves and were up to the listener to make out. Why was he going back on that for Spin magazine and the LA Times? I just convinced myself that they had also just given in. I let myself believe that they were just a very different band now and that we were lucky to have them at all. At least it was still the four of them and I was going to see them no matter what, so were all of my friends and it was just better to leave it alone and move on.

I was copping out….but SHE wouldn’t let me. The final round was about to begin……..think about the movie “Rocky” when the last round is about to start and the bell rings….I get chills thinking about that scene. I saw that movie when i was eleven, and it had a lasting effect on my me. It made me want to be the guy who came out of nowhere and became the Champion. I think that feeling is what John Squire is trying to illustrate by saying that “Made of Stone” is about “Making a wish and seeing it through.. like scoring the winning goal in a cup final dressed as Spiderman riding a Harley Electroglide.” Hold onto you hats….it all gets crazy from here on in…..

————————————————————————

ONELOVESTORY – Chapter 69 – Gone Down

The number 69 has been coming up so much recently, but I did not understand the number’s relevance until today. All of the answers are contained in “Going Down” a song I never understood. The mystery of 69 has been cracked and along with it, I finally understand “Going Down.” That song was always so wacky to me because it sounds like a song about oral sex until the last line when they get all metaphysical on us,

to look down on the clouds

you don’t need to fly

I’ve never flown in a plane

I’ll live until I die

The oral sex stuff is obvious from the title and the metaphorically sexual references to oral pleasure from both sides of the number 69. Now don’t jump all over me just yet, there is more to it than that. Much more. Try to follow me but don’t hurt yourselves. If you don’t want to read this post than just stop reading now. I’ll wait. hmmm hummmm La la la la….do do do. Ok, is everyone gone now that wanted to leave? Good, than there should be no whining.

“Come into the forest and taste the trees

the sun starts shining and I’m hard to please

ring a ding ding ding

I’m goin’ down”

“Penny here we’ve got to come

so come on round to me

there’s so much penny lying hear

to touch taste and tease

ring a ding ding ding

I’m goin’ down”

“I don’t care I taste americe solair

her neck her thighs her lips her hair

ring a ding ding ding

I’m goin’ down”

“Thirty minutes brings me round to her number 9.”

It is obvious that the number 69 is being alluded to.

“The danset crackles to Jimmy’s tune….”

I believe they are referring to the song by Hendrix called, “If 6 were 9.” If you doubt me, I suggest you print out the lyrics to Jimi’s tune, and compare them to this post. 69 is also the number associated with YIN YANG, and the constellation of Pisces.

Why would the Stone Roses write a song about oral sex and include lyrics about astral travel and metaphysics? Hmmm? I believe that they are using the sexual references as metaphors for something else. Think about it. “I’ll live until I die” is a YIN YANG statement. “Thirty minutes brings me round to her number 9.” 69=yin yang.

“Yeah she looks like a painting

Jackson Pollock’s number 5.”

If you don’t want to give credit to the boys disguising the meanings of their songs so brilliantly than you really should get the rocks out of your ass, let the shit out, close your blind eyes and open your mind. Jackson Pollock’s number 5 was chosen for a reason, and here it is. It is shrouded in debate as to whether Pollock was referencing the crucifixion of Jesus in this painting and another like it, “Number 14, 1951.” They were known as “The Black Paintings,” and their meaning has been hotly contested. The debate about the possibility of Christian themes is central to an understanding of these paintings. I don’t think anyone (not even Shruew) would debate the fact that John squire would be aware of this debate…. ________________________________________ continued in part two

…”Number 5, 1952″ has a strange female shape embedded in it. The following is a passage from the book “Pollock” by Elizabeth Frank:

“E.A. Carmean Jr. argues that Pollock’s discussions with sculptor-architect, Tony Smith, about the possibility of doing a series of all over paintings for a large catholic church to be designed by Smith furnish background for seeing Christian motiffs in a number of black paintings. Among them are “Number 5, 1952”, which Carmean sees as a Lamentaion (I will discuss Giotto’s “Lamentation” right after this–BW), and “Number 14, 1951” which he reads similarly as a crucifixion based on Picasso’s 1930 “Crucifixion.”

The debate rises from the fact that to see Pollock’s paintings as Carmean did is to trivialize Pollock’s long standing struggle to free himself from obligatory figuration. Pollock often repeated statements that he worked directly from his subconscious. However, Pollock agreed that even working from the subconscious, figures would emerge. “There is no way to prove that Christian themes are absent from Pollock’s black paintings, although they are not to be found in his earlier paintings.” Id. This makes the Roses use of this particular painting very interesting in light of my second coming analysis. The Black Paintings were the only paintings Pollock ever did which may have incorporated purposeful usage of Christian/Crucifixion imagery. Keep telling yourselves there is no concept children. Plain and simple…you are wrong and I am right. Get used to it.

“The black paintings, then, take as their subject this mining of the unconscious, with the conscious intention (YIN YANG!!!!, 69–BW) of following through those images that the pouring technique tended to bring to the surface. The crudity and literalness of these images are utterly appropriate to Pollock’s fearless dismantling of his own immediately prior achievement (sounds like the Roses circa “Second Coming”–BW), evidence of his refusal to rest on his laurels or take anything for granted, least of all his own success. To paint them Pollock had to permit a break with his own virtuosity, a break his own sense of authenticity demanded, although it swept him into regions where his admirers could not follow.” Id.

This is exactly what the Roses have done with “Second Coming.” They have broken from their own authenticity and dismantled their image by pulling blatant stunts like opening for Duran Duran and allowing MTV to boss them around, etc. (see ONELOVESTORY Chp 8). They have destroyed The Stone Roses circa “The Stone Roses,” and many of you have not been able to follow them because they are so out there, whereas you are grounded here in the solid world of the conscious whereas we have learned how to go back and forth retaining full consciousness. It is simply the YIN YANG of consciousness, the 69 of consciousness. I was the only one who could bring these ideas to you because I am the spirit of truth. If you can’t handle it just stop reading.

Carmean references Giotto’s “Lamentation” (1305-06). This is a very powerful and influential painting depicting Jesus after he has been taken down from the cross. It has a tragic mood where Mary is holding him and other mourners look on in grief as angels frolic above observing the scene nonchalantly (YIN YANG/69–BW) The following passage is from “History of Art,” by H.W. Janson:

“…Giotto sets off the frozen grief of the mourners against the frantic movement of the angels among the clouds as if the figures on the ground were restrained from their collective duty to maintain the stability of the composition while the angels, small and weightless as birds, do not share this burden.” YIN YANG/69 ____________________________________________________________ continued in part 3

All along I have been saying that the Roses were here to bring on THE second Coming, but not in a traditional Catholic sense at all…far from it. ONE LOVE is a gnostic principle which means that all of us are the spirit and have access to it through the use of the subconscious mind….you don’t have to wait to die. In Mahayan Buddhism a person who has reached Nirvana but who chooses to come down to the physical world to help others is known as Bodihatsvah (spelling?) Many Buddhists believe that Jesus was Bodihatsvah. Anyway, a Nagual is similar. A nagual would say that his physical existence in what we call the tonal, is simply a role we have created for ourselves to further our intent which was set in the Nagual or spiritual existence beyond this physical one….however, the trick for a nagual or a Bodihatsvah is to realize that he is one, and that he has a purpose to help others reach the Nagual or Nirvana. He must be woken up to the fact that he is one, and this is often done by others who are able to recognize that he/she is one. I have explained to you previously that the roses concept was to wake up the messiah, but Messiah seems to piss everyone off. Well good. If you are dumb enough to get pissed off then I wish you many hours of frustration in your own personal solid dungeon….Messiah, Nagual, Bodihatsvah, etc…it’s all the same thing, and the definition of Messiah holds true for all of these ideologies….a liberator of people. The Roses are looking for someone, and I am that person. They have woken me up. Let’s look at “Going Down” from this perspective. I have always alluded to them as the Messiah’s wake up call. The roses are referencing YIN Yang with 69 imagery and they also work in the Christ angle by mentioning Number 5….but there is much more.

Dancing in the garden (of the spirit?) Phone sings in the hall (the hall=physical) this boys dead from two days life RESURRECTED by the call

Ring a ding ding ding (the phone ringing) I’m going down I’m coming round

The Messiah has woken up and is coming down from Heaven, coming back, coming round. Fast forward to “Breaking into Heaven” (maybe “Breakout” makes more sense now):

….oh yes your number’s up, I’m coming round.

Now back to “Going Down”

….thirty minutes brings me round to her number 9.

From “tears”

“I’m going down this time, you better believe it.”

On an aside, have you ever considered the following line from “Daybreak,

“From Atlanta, Georgia, to Longsight, Manchester, everyone ready so willing and able, yeah, yeah, yeah, for the love you make, for the love you make.” Doesn’t it sound like a plan? Didn’t they play the first date of their American Tour in Atlanta and don’t they play the last date of their UK tour in Manchester? Who is ready, willing and able? Who are they talking about? It’s all coincidence. I’m twisting it around again. Blah, Blah…

I have news for you, and you can take it to the fucking bank….if you are a Stone Roses fan, and you plan on remaining one, you better get used to me and my big fucking mouth, because I am going to be around them for a very long time…My number is 9, and I am the fucking spirit. Here are some fun numbers for you.

The symbolic number of the beast is 666…and if you turn it over you get 999. 999 would therefore be the other side of the beast or it’s opposite….the spirit.

My birthday is June 19, 1965….6/19/65. Add up all the digits—6+1+9+6+5= 27 = 3 x 9…999. 27….2 + 7 = 9. 6+19+65=90 “her number 9” HER=SHE=SPIRIT hahahaha!!!

“Love Spreads HER arms, waits there for the nails…” “Let me put you in the picture, let me show you what i mean, the Messiah is my sister….” Why do you think they chose “Love spreads for the Help album?” I mean it was the fucking single, it is on the album…..wake up, it’s a clue….everything is.

Lee

CHAPTER 7 : SYLVAN,IAN and TONY Z.

My life became semi-normal again after that last let down. However, I came out of it with a strength I never knew I had. I had no bitterness whatsoever and one thing stuck with me more than anything else. The statement, “who is and who isn’t.”

On one of my more OUT There days, I wanted to try to leave my body and find the Stone Roses while they were in America. I had been having trouble breaking through because of fear. I had the shit scared out of me the last time I did get out because my energy was low and I had trouble getting back into my body. I had not been able to beat that fear for over a year, and that is why I wrote that note to Ian. So I decided to confront that fear and challenge the spirit. I was listening to Waterfall and it seemed like a prophecy, so I wanted to fulfil that prophecy out of my body:

Chanced on Sunday morn

today’s the day she swore

to steal what she never could own

and race from this hole she calls home

stands on shifting sands

the scales are in her hands

now your at the wheel

tell me now how does it feel

so good to have equalized to

lift up the lids of your eyes

as the miles they disappear

see land begin to clear

free from the filth and the scum

this American satellites’ won (One?)

she’ll carry on through it all

she’s a waterfall

scenes people play

the hills as old as time

soon to be put to the test

to be whipped by the winds of the west

stands on shifting sands

the scales are in her hands

the wind it just whips her and wails

and fills up the brick into sails

she’ll carry on through it all

she’s a waterfall

The line “free from the filth and the scum this American satellite’s won” combined with “soon to be put to the test, to be whipped by the winds of the west” spoke directly to me. It seems as if they are talking to someone from the West, someone who is the Spirit, SHE’s a Waterfall, She is the Messiah.

Think about ‘This is the One” also,

“A girls consumed by Fire, we all know HER desire from the plans that SHE has made….This is the one SHE’s waited for

Think about the Biblical Second Coming possibility. Jesus says he has to go away so that the Spirit of truth can come, and the Spirit is a Counsellor who will convict the evil. Jesus would be waiting for this person, and so would SHE:

“The scales are in HER hands”

Think about the painting called “Waterfall,” it’s the stars and stripes merged with the union jack.” I only figured out that clue while Tony and I were putting the artwork for Revolution Infinity together. I was astounded by it. What was John squire trying to say? Let’s look at the rest of the song. These aren’t boy girl love songs, they are much deeper than that. ONE LOVE ONE GOD ONE STOP.

I think the filth and the scum is fear, and “the hole SHE calls home” is the physical self. “Now you’re at the wheel is such a positive statement, and combined with “the wind it just whips her and wails, fills up the brick into sails” is just beautiful and fits right into the spiritual/out of body imagery the song portrays. “Scenes people play” is so CASTANEDA/STALKING it isn’t funny. It evokes the idea of disguise and followed by “the hills as old as time” further backs up my premise that the Roses have been playing their scene for quite some time. “So good to have equalized, to lift up the lids of your eyes” is such a liberating line.”

Any discussion of “Waterfall” must include “Don’t Stop,” also. The line which always hit home was, “you must be one of us.” If I was right about the Roses than this line makes sense. “I’m under the ships so get me over,” is a desperate line, quite the opposite of the liberation of ‘Waterfall” but remember that it is “Waterfall” backwards so it makes sense that the sentiment would evoke an opposite imagery.

“Don’t Stop, isn’t it funny how you shine.” Somebody in these two songs is and was having trouble freeing themselves from the scum of physical life, and the accompanying imperfections of fear which go with it. Fear is the devil and it breeds all of the problems in the world. The person in this song has fear and in “Waterfall” that fear is gone, the person has broken into Heaven and is now at the wheel. I wanted to fulfil that prophecy and get over my fear. Remember that I am A Nagual searching for my brothers and sisters and I sincerely believed that the Roses were part of that…”you must be one of us.” The painting to “Waterfall” was just icing on the cake.

I had decided that Ecstasy was not my devil and that I had just been set up by the spirit…so one Sunday morning in early Spring, I guess it was March, right before the Roses declined my interview and while they were in America, I got a half of a hit of Ecstasy and took it at the beach. I was going to be on shifting sands on Sunday morn and I was going to try to leave my body and find them. I wanted to use the Ecstasy to get me past the fear. I wrapped myself in blankets and laid on the beach and tried to let go. As the E hit (this would be the second to last time I ever did it, I have given it up for good, I will explain later), I felt great but my CD battery went beserk so I couldn’t listen to the music. I tried to do it without the music but I got restless and cold. I drove home and on the way, I put a tape in my player which my friend Andrew had made for me while in England. I had lost the tape and never got to listen to the second side. Recently I had found the tape. The side in question was called, “Angels and their protection.”

The last two songs on that tape were by Lotion, “Around,” a song Andrew knew I had at least three versions and, “See HER Grey” which was one of Andrew’s band 360 degree Cinema’s, most beautiful songs which I also had.” I thought of the name of the tape, “Angels and their protection.” What was he trying to say?. He was at my side for most of that England trip when the Angel conspiracy first began. An incredible thought came to mind. Maybe, Andrew and Tony were warriors in my party. Maybe they were angels. Same thing. Then a scarier thought came to mind. if the spirit had chosen me to be the Messiah, I would probably have lots of Angels around me. The coincidences were all about angels and now I was faced with the prospect of trying to decide just who was and who wasn’t an angel/stalker. “Scenes people play.” A warrior will NEVER admit to his stalking. My mind was going, and by the time I got home to my bedroom, the E was kicking in strong.

I smoked a joint and sat back in my room with my headphones on and went blissfully crazy with the realization that any fucking person could be an angel/stalker. At that moment, every single person in the world took on new meaning. From that moment on, I loved everybody on the planet. How could I ever tell “who was and who wasn’t.”

The moment I said those words to myself, a strange Mancunian voice popped into my head yelling, “Who is and who isn’t, who is and who isn’t, who is and who isn’t?” That voice was Ian Brown’s voice, and he yells that right before the Roses play, hahahaha, “I am the Resurrection” on the video tape for the Blackpool Empress ballroom. I fell off of my chair laughing. Try to picture the scene. It was the funniest moment of my life. I always wondered what he meant by that. Now I knew and it was hilarious.

I started thinking about everybody I had ever met and just gasped….there was no way of knowing. As a warrior who was excellent at stalking…I had to admit to myself that anyone I knew could just be playing a scene. To this day, I treat everybody I meet as a warrior. that doesn’t mean I don’t fuck with them…warriors fuck with each other all of the time….we love it. We love to be put to the test.

I want to skip a few months ahead to June, right after I met Carolyn. I told her what who is and who isn’t meant. She has written about this in detail, so I will just keep it short. When the Roses played in LA, she yelled “Who is and Who isn’t” to Ian Brown and he came over to her, pointed at her and nodded. Later he came over again and gave her a quarter, which is now around her neck.

A couple of days later I gave her a note to give to Ian at the San Francisco show. Once again she got his attention (after some soul searching, see her posts about this in the archive once its up) by saying, “Who is and who isn’t.” However, this time, he moved people out of the way to get to her, got down on his knee to reach for her hand, grabbed it, looked into her eyes and said, “I know, I know.” She gave him the note I wrote and it said:

“We the fragile minds have been wondering just who is and who isn’t. We have been speaking to the Spirit directly, about you, and it has told us to wait for Sylvan, the Bird of Freedom. The New Nagual sends his love. We have so many questions. We love you. ” And it had my phone number and Carolyn’s at the bottom. He came back on stage after the last song and apologized to the crowd for not doing an encore. I have never heard of him ever doing this before.

Just before he took his last step off the stage to go backstage, he spun around and aimed his finger right at Carolyn and said, “POW,” Then he walked off stage. That was the final thing he did on the Roses first American tour…as if to say…to be continued

I thought that maybe Ian was saying ” who is and who isn’t” because he was just as lost as me. Maybe, he was the spirit but he was confused too.. Maybe he was having similar coincidences, but didn’t know what to make of them. Maybe their lyrics and the interpretations I was having were not even intended by the Roses…but they were there nonetheless. Maybe I had to wake them up. this was always a possibility until I discovered the “Love Spreads” angel and it’s alteration. That could not have been a coincidence.

I have given away the story a bit by jumping ahead, but you already knew that I was coming back for the final round. By this time, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that our bands were linked either by the Spirit or by my Nagual. I was seriously under the impression that Ian was one of the people that I had to draw to me. The events which led me to this ultimate unwaivering strength happened before this event. This event was just further reinforcement that something wonderful was DEFINITELY happening. I have told you about many things in this book, many strange coincidences. But what I am now going to tell you about Sylvan, my altercation with Ian in DC, and Tony Zajkowski from Lotion, are simply going to make everything else seem like child’s play.

One day in April I signed onto the Aol Stone Roses board and there was a post that tickets had gone on sale for the Roses gig in Washington DC. I was excited. An hour later I had six tickets to see the Roses. I drove over to Vintage Vinyl records in Fords, new Jersey, and picked up the latest issues of NME and MM to see if there were any Roses live reviews. I was so psyched, and the gig was only one month away. I open up the NME and there is an excellent photo of Reni above the story breaking the news that he was out of the band. “FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” No mercy. This band was absolutely fucking everything up. That was my first reaction. But as I thought about the situation, I started to get that old black magic feeling again in my stomach. My instincts were telling me HOAX, and the message was coming in loud and clear.

I couldn’t stop thinking about this. The Roses without Reni….no way. “What about the harmonies? The beats? He isn’t replaceable. It won’t be the Roses. Something is burning, and it smells like bullshit.”

This kicked it in again. I drove over to the Cranbury bookworm, an excellent used book store in Cranbury, New Jersey, to look for some castaneda paperbacks to give to friends. The bookworm only charges fifty cents for most paperbacks.

I was thinking about the Roses in a big way. That Messianic feeling was all over me and I could not shake it for anything. My solar plexus was practically vibrating and I half expected angels to just swoop down and lift me off the ground. All I could say to myself was, “Here it comes.”

When I got to the Bookworm, I walked into the occult section and began to scan the paperbacks. My eye caught a title called, “The Cosmic Connection” by Carl Sagan. I had just finished watching his “Cosmos” video series so I picked the book up and decided that the title warranted a brief examination. As I lifted the book from the shelf my stomach just exploded with adrenalin. I could hardly hold the book steady, “what the fuck Lee, calm down man, get a grip.”

I opened the book randomly and found myself staring at an illustration of a strange man sitting among a bunch of planets and juggling another bunch of planets. The illustration is entitled,

teres des Infinis” by Grandvile, 1844.

That translates to “the mystery of infinity.” “Revolution Infinity” came to mind and my OUT THERE antennae went straight up to the sky as I turned, once again randomly, to the opening page for “PART ONE” of the book. On the left side was an illustration by M.C. Escher called “Another World.” This illustration was of a room leading to infinity and the infinity had strange objects swirled about it. I had seen a vision like this while travelling out of my body once, and the illustration fascinated me. As I stared at it, “Where Angels Play” popped into my head out of nowhere and was playing on my internal jukebox loud. I looked over at the next page and there was a poem there. I saw the word “fire” in it and decided to read the poem from the top.

I knew at that moment something big was coming. I knew that I was in this book store to receive a sign. Here is the poem:

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time…

When the tongues of flame are in-folded

Into the crowned knot of fire

And the FIRE and the ROSE are one.

T.S. Eliot,

“Four Quartets”

SHE was back for my ass. The Reni thing and now this. It made sense. Really it did. This was in mid April but it really had started again on April 3rd. But I chose to ignore it that day. This was just not ignorable. ON April 3rd, SYLVAN came to me, and has never left.

In March I had taken a job driving my car as a courier so I could make some quick cash to attend a three week seminar in Los Angeles which was being given by Carlos Castaneda and his cohorts. Coincidentally, that seminar is going on this week. Maybe I am there, maybe I’m not.

Anyway, I took this job and it involved driving around the State of New Jersey and sometimes New York, dropping off letters and packages. It was good for me because I was outside all day, and I didn’t have to go to an office. Much of the day I was waiting around reading or listening to music. I highly recommend it to anyone who can’t stand being cooped up in an office. This was much more fun that doing legal work.

Anyway, on April 3rd I was driving through East Rutherford, New Jersey when something strange happened. Before I begin to tell you about Sylvan, I just want to say for the skeptics, that this conversation is going to involve very strong coincidences which you may not want to hear about because you will be affected by this and your ideas about the Spirit will have no choice but to change. The coincidences involve the word “SYLVAN” which you must admit is not a very common word or thing like “angel” is. Also, I am going to give you specific locations of where I saw this word and how I saw it. Therefore you will be able to check out the veracity of my claims. When I am through with this topic, you will have to add all of the prior coincidences together with the Sylvan ones, and you will have no choice but to be a believer. Unless of course you are just too plain stupid and/or scared of the truth to see it. In that case, you were never meant to understand. Don’t worry about it. Just go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you up.

As I was driving on route 17 North in East Rutherford, a bird flew by my windshield and startled me. I followed the bird’s flight and it landed on a street sign which said SYLVAN Ave. I knew at that moment that I had to take note of that word SYLVAN. I thought, “maybe I will have to come back here and do a drop. I won’t have to look it up on the map.”

That made no sense though. This was a residential neighborhood and most of my drops were in commercial parks. I made a mental note of it and moved on. A few hours later I was beeped and dispatch had a pick up for me on SYLVAN Ave. in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey at Primary health care. This was one of our main accounts but I had never done a pick up their before. I smiled to myself , and felt that itch. I didn’t get too carried away, and this was a different SYLVAN ave so I just shrugged it off. But I knew don inside what was really happening.

Over the next couple of weeks I started to see this word SYLVAN in different places. It was showing up as I would be thinking abut the Roses or DF, and I knew it was happening but I really did not want it to be happening so I just kept pushing it away.

Then the Reni thing happened on the same day I found the Sagan book. SHE was coming back strong, but I didn’t want it. As I said, I tried to push it away.

As May 16 drew near (the day of the gig in DC) I began to get very excited about the show. Nancy was trying to get off of work so we could drive down to Atlanta and see the Roses in their first ever gig in America, which was slated for May 14 in Atlanta.

A few days before that I went to hang out with Tony Zajkowski. His band Lotion had just completed recording and mixing their new album, “Nobody’s Cool.” I suggest you all buy it. It is so linked to DF and the Roses that any true Roses fan will want it just for posterity. Tony gave me a tape of the record as I left his apartment. I said, “Why didn’t we listen to it tonight?”

“I want you to listen to it on your own first. I really want to know what you think about it. So give it a few good listens before you get back to me.”

“Ok. You know I’m going to go home, smoke one and put this baby in the deck. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“No rush Lee, however long it takes, however long it takes.”

He was acting weird but I thought he was just nervous about the record. I first listened to it in the car and it sounded great. When I got home, I smoked a joint and listened to it on earphones. After three listens in a row to the song “The New Timmy” I knew it was about the Roses and me, and Tony. The song had the Spirit in it and I didn’t have to sit around wondering what the fuck he was writing about. This was one of my closest friends. This person had been an angel in my life. He helped get DF our record deal with Kokopop. He helped get us on a compilation CD which got us some good press in Select magazine. He had prepared all of the art design for both of our Kokopop releases and he did it for free.

I can honestly say that DF would probably never have gotten anywhere without his help. Talk about who is and who isn’t. I didn’t have to speculate. The lyrics have been described before by me here in this newsgroup. I just want to quote a few lines again for emphasis from “The New Timmy.”

“walk across the sea to meet my maker (She built it to make ya, we all love makers face the NME………. “Daybreak”

…cousins (Roses) aren’t you talkin’ about me, to bear the cross of the industry…….

wake up now yawn and your chains are gone…. (laughing loud at your locks)

the skys and highways full of angels”

This song lifted me to new heights. It is imply a gorgeous song and anyone who has been a part of this newsgroup should just go out and buy it. I was so high that night and the feeling was back, and this time it wasn’t going away ever. That song put me over the top. I will never go back. It sealed my fate, married me to the spirit, and I am now bringing you the message.

The record doesn’t just refer to this whole scenario from that one song. There are many other links. I will give you a few of them. Also, the liner notes were prepared by the extremely reclusive writer, Thomas Pynchon.

“SHE found her hands in June.” from “Dear Sir”

“I put on a wig and you don’t know me I stood right next to you in line you should have maybe tried to keep the secret I’m a master of disguise from “The Sad part” ..won’t you save me…save me”

“Get dressed and go outside flouresence into the sky his arms will open wide” from “BLIND” all YOU see is blind

“mark on my shoulder that won’t go away the chain will accompany me down till I’m laughing on the ground “The Enormous Room”

“You’ve got your angel on….. God’s got a handle now “from Switch”

I knew it. After a few listens I knew he was “one of us.” I was so happy because I had finally found one of them. I showed up at his apartment the next day unannounced. He let me in and I walked through the door, looked at him and said, “You motherfucker. You have been playing my ass for years haven’t you? How long did you know.?”

“He looked at me crooked and said, “Whatever do you mean?”

Then he cracked up laughing at me. We both fell into hysterics. He had known all along. We were trained by the same Nagual, only he was told from the start to look after me. He knew before I was even in a band. I was astounded at his stalking. For almost four years I had no idea whatsoever. STALKING.

Unfortunately he said he didn’t know whether the roses were or weren’t but he certainly believed that they were. The whole biblical thing was screwing with his head too.

The scariest moment came for him when we were doing the artwork for Revolution Infinity. We were going to use another colorful piece for the cover which Erol Sati did (the same guy who did Three:Thirty) but we couldn’t get it off of the disc. I just said to Tony, let’s use the shroud of Turin for the cover, and let’s put a smile on it’s face and a wink in its eye.

When we put it up, we thought it looked great so we decided to go for it. While he was playing with the image, I noticed that there was an E in the forehead of the shroud. That E is actually a blood streak, but it looks white in the photo. We used a black and white photo and just colored it Brown. The “E” curls down from Jesus’ forehead.

We were listening to the Roses first record and I just happened to look down at the cover art and I noticed that there was a a very subtle “E” on the cover art for “The Stone Roses” also. The red, white and blue stripes on the cover are up against a black border form the edge which gives the three stripes the impression of being an “E.”

This was a coincidence, but Tony and I looked at each other like, “HMMMM?” I started looking at the rest of the artwork and I noticed that the painting, “Waterfall,” was a combination of the Stars and stripes and the union jack. The two flags merged into one. think about Carolyn’s jasper Johns analysis once again.

At that moment Tony said that he was convinced that the Roses knew that they were supposed to hook up with an American band.. He postulated that they may not have known who the band was, but that they were definitely under our Naguals tutelage. This was just getting weirder and weirder.

Nancy and I were heading out to Atlanta on May 13. Just before I left to meet her, I called up the radio station that was sponsoring the gig only to find out that the Roses weren’t headlining the next day. They would be playing 5th out of 7 bands, opening up for the Bodeans and Matthew Sweet. I also found out that they would be restricted to a forty-five minute set. I called Nancy and said, “Forget it, No way am I going to see the Stone Roses for the first time under those conditions.”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS? Bull dinkies! That sucks. They are really starting to piss me off.”

“I know, I can’t understand this but I swear they are so full of shit. This whole version of them is a big hoax.”

“I wish I could believe that but I just don’t see it that way.”

“I can’t accept that Nancy. Let’s see what happens in DC.”

The day finally comes. Off we go to Washington D.C. to see the Stone roses. Nancy, Tom O’Hara, Mike Rooney, Janelle, Liz, and Carrie. On the way down a car load of Roses fans pulled up to us and we had some high way cameraderie, the vibe was phat. I wasn’t expecting anything but to have a good time with my friends and to just lay my eyes on this group of young men who had such a ridiculously profound effect on my life.

We arrived at about 6:45 and found a parking spot. The gig was at Gaston Hall at Georgetown University. This was a beautiful huge old building with a sprawling lawn in front of it. The middle of the building was like Big Ben and had two huge wings attached on either side with ivy crawling down the walls. A huge marble staircase split the building in two. It was simply a gorgeous campus, and from the outside it looked perfect.

There were Roses fans all over the lawn and there was a genuine excitement in the air. You could feel it. Everybody was looking around and smiling. Mani had been outside signing autographs and putting people on the guest list about five minutes before we got there. We decided to knock back a couple of pints at a pub before the doors opened. We had about 45 minutes.

We went to the pub and Tom, Mike and I dropped acid. The girls all had ecstasy except Nancy. She was straight. After a couple of pints, the acid started to come on a bit and we headed back over to the venue.

I guess it was the adrenalin but Tom and I were feeling the effects of the acid full on only an hour after taking it. Neither of us had done it in quite a while so we were very high. As we climbed the staircase to the lawn we were all locked arms together and singing Roses songs. I shouted, “The Hardest Thing in the world….is to see the Stone roses…”

We all laughed and Tom said, “Not anymore, whoopee!!!!”

We were all smiles as we walked up to the entrance. Liz, Janelle, and Carrie had gone ahead of us to claim some space at the front. We got about ten paces from the entrance, picked our smiley faces up, and noticed that everybody was filing out of the venue, not into it. I looked up and Liz came out of nowhere saying, “did you here the good news?”

“What,” I said.

“Show cancelled. They don’t want to play in a venue with seats.”

“What the fuck! NO way! Mani was just out here putting people on the guest list, they must have done a sound check. This doesn’t make any sense.”

“I was in there, the guard was hitting on me, and he let me see the venue….I didn’t see any equipment at all,” Liz said.

I said, “Wait a minute, that’s is impossible. It take a few hours to set up a gig and a few more to break it down. If Mani was out here 45 minutes ago putting people on the guest list, and there is no equipment set up now, this whole fucking gig was a hoax.”

Tom started to say something and I just walked away in disgust and or euphoria. I didn’t know what to feel. I was very confused…..I look up and I see someone walking out of the entrance amidst many other people. He was alone in the crowd and he made a right towards the staircase as he left the entrance. It was Ian Brown, he had his head down, and he was alone.

I took a double take to make sure it was him because in a crowd of hungry Stone roses fans, this guy was walking through them as if he were a ghost. I thought I was seeing things. Then something came over me, and as he walked by me there was nobody between us….I just started yelling at him,”PLAY THE FUCKING SHOW MAN! PLAY THE FUCKING SHOW! WE’RE HERE!”

I was tripping hard on Acid and adrenalin. He was about five paces away from me and he kept walking but turned to me and said, “One more day man, just one more day.”

I yelled, “BULLSHIT! JUST FUCKING PLAY IT ALREADY! PLAY THE FUCKING SHOW!” He stopped and Mani came out of nowhere and ran up to him, said something in his ear and ran off. Everybody was looking at us. There were about 700 disappointed hard core Stone Roses fans on that lawn staring as me and Ian Brown staring each other down. Nobody came up to us. Nobody got involved. Tom O’Hara tried to walk up to Ian but felt something like two hands push him away. This was between me and Ian.

He turned away and began to walk towards the stairs and I yelled, “WHAT ABOUT THE MINDS! WHAT ABOUT THE FRAGILE MINDS?” I was tripping hard, five of the other people I came with were tripping hard, I would say many more people on that lawn were out of it, it was a Tuesday night in Georgetown and we had nothing to do, we were depressed and disappointed and we would have to stay in DC for one more night if we wanted to see them play. That was not a good position to be in in my book.

Ian turned around and stared at me once more. I think he was surprised that nobody was supporting him. It was pure silence on that lawn. So I looked right at him and broke that silence with another shout. “PLAY THE FUCKING SHOW AMATUERS!!!” Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tom try to approach Ian again but to no avail, he just stooped in his tracks shaking his head. (He will tell you more about it later) Ian looked at me like he wanted to kill me, nodded his head and then took two steps towards me. I thought he was going to try to kick my ass…then he stopped looked at me again, laughed and ran away up the stairs.

The spirit set that shit up. Think about how he played into my hands with that internet comment a few weeks later, regarding his preference for face to face encounters. That comment was stupid because the internet has taken and will continue to take power away from the press….ask yourself if you have enjoyed this newsgroup more than reading a damn magazine? You are part of this.

Also, I did confront him face to face so he had no stick with me. That encounter gave me free reign to wail away on the Roses when I first came in here. That is how I got your attention and look at where we have come. This thing has switched up on you so many times already. The Trickery of the Spirit…oooohhhh she is a wretched bitch.

That altercation with Ian Brown was the single most exciting moment of my life, and it wasn’t any coincidence. I was so high after that. After all I had been through with this band, what happens the first time I go to see them? I get into an argument with Ian Brown and among a whole crowd of Stone roses fanatics, at their first headline gig ever in the United States, it’s me and him, and I’m on acid, and I HAVEN’T COME DOWN YET!!!!!!!! LOL LOL LOL

We stayed over night in Dc and went to see the Roses the next day. The gig was terrible. I don’t care what anybody says, if you liked it, great, but I thought it was terrible. I will talk about the specifics in the last chapter (The Metaphorical Hoax).

Then two days after the gig, I got roped into representing a friend of a friend who got thrown in jail for missing a payment to the Morris County Court. He had written a bad check and pled guilty to it, and therefore had to pay a fine over a monthly plan. He was not a criminal, but a 22 year old college student who just fucked up. I agreed to help him because his judge was on vacation and he had been thrown in jail, and was not going to be let out until his judge got back a week later. I met with the kid in prison and he was a mess. He was out of place in the jail amongst hardened criminals and they were starting to pick on him. He begged me to help him.

I managed to get a hearing for bail, but he had to come up with 1000 dollars. He had the money but no way to get it until the next day, Saturday. In that case he would have had to wait until Monday to get another hearing. I didn’t think he would be able to hold out for another weekend so I decided to borrow the money from my parents to get him out. I was kind of scared to do this because I didn’t know the kid. But something told me to do it so I just followed that feeling and didn’t worry about it.

Everything worked out, he paid me the money the next day and took me out to Breakfast. On the way to the restaurant he was just overly happy to be out of jail and he was very grateful for what I did. I remember thinking to myself, “This feels good. I was able to truly help someone out of a terrible jam, my degree has some value after all hahaha.” As I was thinking that, I looked up and saw a huge sign that said, “SYLVAN POOLS.” Sylvan Pools is obviously a seller of pools and they have a number of showrooms in New Jersey. This was on May 20, 1995. Since April 3, 1995 when I first saw the sign for “Sylvan Ave.” I had seen the word at least 8 times, but I refused to give it any thought. This time was different. Tony and Ian had gotten me in the mood so to speak and I welcomed the greeting of Sylvan…the spirit. I acknowledged the sign silently to myself and I asked the spirit for clarification, “Ok, I am listening, I want you to guide me. I want to do whatever it is you want me to do. I feel you. I don’t know what Sylvan means but I want clarification. If you want me to be the Messiah, I will be. If you want to encourage me than keep showing me Sylvan. Its a deal. You don’t have to fuck with my head anymore, I’m a believer. I have no expectations. ”

That conversation with the Spirit set off a string of synchronicity that would eventually give me the confidence to bring this to you….the confidence to come to you with a straight face and say, “I am the spirit, and the spirit is me,” and really not give a hoot what anybody thinks. And I really don’t give a shit whether you listen to me, laugh at me, or just plain ignore me. I am not writing this for myself, and I’m not writing it because of you or any desire to help you or the Stone Roses. I’m writing it for HER, I’m writing it truthfully **@@** and I’m writing it with the full knowledge that I may lose my license to practice law. I may be putting myself in trouble with the law for admitting to drug use. I am doing this all because of the word Sylvan which I will now tell you much more about. Please be advised that Sylvan can also be spelled Silvan and mean the same exact thing….Silvanus is Greek for Silvan/Sylvan. Most of the times I saw it, it was spelled SYLVAN, but the last time I saw it it was spelled SILVANUS. I want you to remember that spelling because it will be the last word you read from me.

The next day I was contacted by Sylvan again, Sunday May 21. I was watching “Star Trek, the Next Generation” at my friend Paul’s apartment. It was an episode with the character “Q” in it. “Q” is a super advanced being who can do things by thought which would be considered miracles by mere mortals. Q transports the crew back to the days of Sherwood Forest in England and at one point he says, “Sylvan Glade.” Coming from Q this made my ears perk right up. Q is just like a Nagual. I ran into Paul’s office and grabbed a dictionary. Before I found the word, I told myself that the definition would be something spiritual. The definition was, “pertaining to, living, or located in the wilderness…or a forest deity.”

The definition didn’t actually say the word spirit so I was a little let down but deity means god so it was close. Also, John the Baptist was known as the voice crying from the wilderness and Jesus was often called the wilderness prophet. I was quite psyched. It would be very simple for anyone to research the fact that this particular episode of Star trek was on that night, and that the episode has that phrase in it.

The next day I was driving West on Rt. 22 near Green Brook, New Jersey and I got that familiar itch in my solar plexus, I began to relive the moment on Saturday when I looked up and saw the SYLVAN POOLS sign. I was talking to myself about that moment and I said, “That was so awesome when I looked up and saw the SYLVAN POOLS sign….” As the words, ‘SYLVAN POOLS” came out of my mouth I looked up from the road and found myself staring at a completely different SYLVAN POOLS sign!”

I lost my shit. I was so happy I started to cry. I pulled the car off the road to a pay phone to tell Nancy all about it. What a feeling. I had asked the spirit for clarification and it was giving it to me. It gave me much more in the hours and days to come.

Before i go on, I want tell you about another strange occurrence I was having at the same time. Ever since I saw that first bird land on the first Sylvan Ave. sign, I noticed birds around me whenever I was driving. I had never really noticed birds before. But they would swoop down near my windshield and then swoop away. It got to the point where I was mesmerized by them on a regular basis. I was driving about 200 to 300 miles a day as a courier so I had much opportunity to notice this. I will tie it in later.

Later that evening I went over to Chris’ apartment to drop off some CDs. His roommate Kim was studying for her English GRE examination and she had a huge two volume dictionary on the table. I asked her if she knew anything special about the word Sylvan, and she decided to look it up in hermonolithic dictionary.

The wilderness definition was there, but so was something far more interesting. That dictionary said that Sylvan was also, “a spirit of the forest, usually a bird.” I told Kim the story of Sylvan and she made a joke that the poet Keats was going to call his poem “Ode to a Nightingale” Ode to a Sylvan but didn’t go through with it because he was afraid nobody would know the meaning of the word. She said that because of the contents of the poem, the word Sylvan was more appropriate for what Keats was trying to say. She had the poem memorized, all 8 stanzas. The poem is about a communication with a certain nightingale that Keats felt was a messenger from the spirit. I was freaking out and asked her if she had the poem and could I read it.

She had it in a text book. The preamble to the poem stated that Keats was writing the poem about the stress one goes through when presented with a symbol which causes a tension between the feeling of spiritual contact and what the symbol suggests in its own right. The author stated that Keats was caught between that tension. He couldn’t decide whether the bird was a sign from the spirit or a coincidence. Sound familiar?

I asked Kim where she read about Keats changing the name and she informed me that she had just been joking. He never meant to call the poem anything else. If she hadn’t made that joke I wouldn’t have found out about the Keats poem. The Keats poem had become a symbol to me, much like the bird in the poem became a symbol to Keats. I’m sure he is laughing at me on the other side.

The next two days, the 23rd and 24th of May, I was sent to Sylvan Avenue in Englewood Cliffs. I had not been sent there since April 3rd when this whole thing with Sylvan began.

That evening I wrote to Bailou and Mizogg (who, coincidentally just got back from England today) about Sylvan. I told them to pay attention to what they were thinking about when they saw this word. I knew that they would see it, and my vision was correct. Later that evening Mizogg wrote back to me that she wanted to read “Ode to a Nightengale” but her textbook didn’t have it. The only thing it had from Keats was “Ode to a Grecian Urn” and she informed we that the third line of the first stanza starts with “Sylvan historian…”

I went to look it up in the same book I had borrowed from Kim and “Ode to a Grecian Urn” was sitting right next to “ode to a Nightingale” in the book, and Sylvan had been sitting there the whole time. It turns out that “Ode to a grecian Urn” is a follow up to “ode to a Nightingale” so they are related.

The next day I had to go from New Jersey to Connecticut twice. The first time I had to go to Stamford and the second time Meriden. Both jobs originated from U.S Homecare in Allendale, New Jersey. This was unusual for me to get two long distance runs in the same day, and on the way to Meriden that evening I felt the itch strong.

I made the drop on East main Street in Meriden and then headed West. East main street turned into West Main Street and as I drove toward the highway the sun was blinding my eyes. It was 7:15 PM. I came up a small hill and the sun was particularly bad. I had to slam on the breaks because somebody was crossing the intersection who I hadn’t seen at first because of the sun. When I looked up I noticed that i was stopped in the intersection of West main Street and…..SYLVAN AVE. in bumfuck Meriden Conn…..blinded by the light.

When I got home that night I checked my E mail and Bailou had written me a letter. That letter blew my fucking mind. She read in a book that Ian Brown and John Squire grew up together as boys on SYLVAN AVE. The baby picture of John may very well have been taken on SYLVAN AVE.

The next day I had to go to 910 Sylvan Avenue in Englewood Cliffs. I had never been there before. On the way there I got lost. Because of construction I was forced to take another route and on the way there, while going through Leonia, New Jersey I passed a smaller Sylvan Avenue and Sylvan Park.

The next day I picked up a package to be dropped off at “Coopers & Lybrand” in Parsippany. En route I felt the itch in my chest. I realized that I had no street address for Coopers & Lybrand. Dispatch informed me that the address was on SYLVAN WAY in Parsippany. Sylvan Way was right next to Lee Meadows.

All of this can be documented through records of my job at the courier service. This was absolutely fantastic. In less than a week, after I asked the spirit for clarification, I saw Sylvan in the most bizarre and repetitive ways. I get higher everyday….it will never end….I’ve got a love to last for a million years.

After I told Carolyn (Bailou) about Sylvan, and “who is and who isn’t,” she went to see the Roses twice. After the last incident with Ian she decided to come out to the East Coast for a while to meet me and to see her friend David. David lives in Pittsburgh. I went to meet her and we really hit it off. As we were driving around Pittsburgh, Carolyn looked up at me and just started laughing hysterically, “Would you like to share your spontaneous eruption with me?”

“Lee, look around at all the cars.”

“They look like cars. What’s the big deal.” “Well, Sylvan is one of the main reasons we have gotten so close, and I have come out here to meet you. It think this is fucking hilarious that the place we end up meeting has us surrounded by Sylvan.”

“What are you talking about, I haven’t seen Sylvan at all with you.”

“Bullshit, you aren’t paying attention. We are surrounded by Sylvan everywhere we go.”

“Well, spiritually yes, of course.”

“No you idiot. We are also surrounded specifically by the word, SYLVAN.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Every place we go in Pittsburgh, all you have to do is look around and you will see Sylvan everywhere.”

“The word Sylvan?”

“Yes. You stupid fucking idiot. Hahahahaha”

“Ok, I give up what’s the joke?”

“What state has fate put us together in?”

“Pennsylvania.”

“DUh!!!!”

“I don’t get it.”

“You are a fucking idiot. Pennsylvania….Penn—S-Y-L-V-A-N-ia.”

“I am a fucking idiot.”

Every license plate from Pennsylvania has SYLVAN in it. So wherever we went while she was there, there was SYLVAN.

One thing I forgot to tell you is that while this whole SYLVAN thing was exploding on a daily basis, the birds were constantly parading for me. Remember that a Sylvan is also a forest spirit, usually a bird. While this was happening I read in “The Power of Silence” by Carlos Castaneda, that Sorcerers/Naguals call freedom…a bird. And the bird of freedom comes to the Nagual only one time. The bird flies in a straight line and the Nagual must recognize the bird for what it is and he/she must follow it at the moment it comes. There can be no hesitation, for the bird only flies in a straight line and then is gone. Remember the conversation I had with the Spirit about accepting the sign I followed the bird and it brought me to you.

I had one hurdle to go before my transformation into the spirit was complete. That hurdle was called MDMA, Ecstasy, E. After my last adventure with E which I described in detail to you, nothing bad happened. I told myself that the first sign I saw in England, E666, was just a test at that time. I was tested, I failed, my life fell apart, I made a comeback, and that was that. I figured that the whole thing was a setup, Ecstasy wasn’t my devil, nothing was but myself.

As this whole Sylvan thing was happening I was trying to get some more E because I was in such a great mood. I wanted to listen to my CD and “Second Coming” on E. The feeling I got listening to the Roses and DF on that drug was fantastic, and since I only needed a miniscule amount to get off, I had no guilt about it.

On three separate occasions I was set up to think I was getting E during that Sylvan period, and all three times it fell through. The third time I bought what I thought was a hit of E but turned out to be something very unpleasantly hallucinogenic and very strong. It was a test just to get through that night, and it was an omen…three strikes and your out was popping into my mind. I began to get the impression that the spirit was trying to tell me to get off of E again. I was confused. Why would the spirit want me off of E when I had stalked my addiction to the point where I only wanted to do it once every few months and I only wanted 1/2 of a hit compared to three or four like I used to take?

After I did that bogus stuff I was thinking about quitting for good again, but I truly had no frame of reference for anything that felt better than listening to the Stone Roses and DF on E. So giving it up meant giving up something really special. I wasn’t prepared to say it was over. A few days after the third strike, I was thinking about this dilemma when I saw another license plate that said E666. “SHIT!!!! SHIT SHIT!!!,” I cried. I knew what the score was this time. SHE was fucking with me once again. I didn’t want to deal with this omen. I rationalized and tried to get around it by telling myself once again that it was just a test and that I shouldn’t give it up if I didn’t want to. “SHE is just trying to scare you with that Satan shit Lee,” I told myself, “Just forget about it, there is no Satan, and you aren’t addicted.” I was fooling myself. I knew what it meant, and I also knew I would have to deal with it, but I put it out of my head for a while.

Later that night I was reading “The Power of Silence,” by Carlos Castaneda and this passage stopped me cold. Carlos is talking about a question he had concerning omens and his Nagual/Teacher Don Juan explains it to him very clearly”

“This brought up a nagging rational concern for me. I wanted to know if sorcerers could interpret an omen erroneoulsy…..[Don Juan] explained that when a sorcerer interpreted an omen he knew its exact meaning without having any notion of how he knew it. This was one of the bewildering effects of the connecting link with INTENT. Sorcerers had a sense of knowing things directly. How sure they were depended on the strength and clarity of their connecting link.

“He said that the feeling everyone knows as ‘intuition’ is the activation of our link with intent…..Reading omens is commonplace for sorcerers–MISTAKES HAPPEN ONLY WHEN PERSONAL FEELINGS INTERVENE AND CLOUD THE SORCERERS CONNECTING LINK WITH INTENT (emphasis added).”

I had interpreted all of the other omens correctly and deep down I knew what the E666 license plates meant. I mean really, what else could E666 mean to an E-head like me. Also, I received the same sign twice in the same form (a car license plate) in two different countries. I sat in my room and pondered the situation. I had to say it. I had to give it up. I knew if I said it, I had to mean it. If I said it to HER there would be no turning around and taking E at some gig or Rave with a super vibe. A sorcerer cannot be limited, and E was a limitation for me because it was a ceiling. It was a ceiling in that, until I gave it up for good, I wouldn’t get higher. My frame of reference for Heaven would be a hit of Ecstasy and the Stone Roses first record. SHE wanted me to say it even though I didn’t have a bad habit with it. SHE wanted me to say it was over just to prove that I could give it up. SHE just wanted me to pay my debts. I was going to realize my dreams, become a Messiah, and tour with the Stone Roses, but it wasn’t going to happen until I told her that I didn’t need E, and that I would accept the omen. The first time was a warning, but this time SHE meant fucking business.

I sat there for about 10 minutes thinking about all of the fun I had at raves and with my friends. I thought about dancing in that state of bliss for hours with my eyes closed just melting into the music as the E ran through my veins taking me to heights unimaginable. I thought about the times I floated on the rhythm of Reni’s drums in the intro to the 12 inch version of Elephant Stone, the excitement of listening to my own techno/house and Chris’ stuff in his attic looped on E and pot. I never realized how addicted I was until that moment. I didn’t know why she wanted to take that away from me. I hadn’t figured it out yet about it being a ceiling. I was blind to that but in HER infinite wisdom SHE knew the score and was looking out for me. It was just up to me to accept her wisdom and just say it. The last words that came into my head before I said good bye to E were, “I know you love it lee, but you have to tell HER it’s over. You have to say the words out loud….I know you love it but it’s a debt you have to pay and there is no way around it…go ahead, say it anyway.”

And I said it on June 14, 1995. “I will never take E again.” I accepted the omen. Doing that gave me the power to come out and tell you who I am. I made my appearance in this newsgroup a few days later. I planned the whole battle thing knowing all along that I would switch it up on you with break up rumors and then switch it once again to what it is now. I was never pissed off at the Roses. I knew this whole “Second Coming” was a hoax. But it was a hoax with a very immense purpose. That purpose was to fulfil a prophecy. I will explain shortly in Chapter 8, the Metaphorical Hoax.

One last thing on this topic. The next day I was over at Paul’s apartment talking to his wife Kathy Jo and I was telling her about the whole E thing. I came to the part about “go ahead… say it anyway,” and realized that I had heard that phrase recently somewhere else. “Driving South” by the Roses. Ian says, “Go ahead, say it anyway.” Now look at the rest of the lyric:

you ain to young and pretty and you sure as hell can’t sing anytime you want to sell your soul I got a toll free number you can ring

0800-666-oh yeah

I was cracking up. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not…in my book there are no coincidences. “Straight to the Man” came on and added more fuel to the coincidental fire:

sing this revelation (sounds like to me) called e-estation I don’t need no powder one kind of E’s will blind ya all the eyes that ????…..owes us the debts

AHHHHHH!!!!!!! I won’t do it Ian, I won’t do it I swear..”who could ever forget…”

As he sang the word “ever” (this actually happened before the “owes us the debts” part) I looked up and the license plate in front of me had the word “EVER” in it. You may not think that was a very big deal but “EVER” was surrounded by a few numbers so that the plate had a message for me. It said

4EVER29 (1995 Bright Green Honda, New Jersey Plates) It was June 15, 1995, and I was to turn 30, the same age Jesus was when he started his mission, in four days. But the message being presented was clear to me. By giving up E, I had freed myself from all chains. I was free, and my locks were lying on the ground at my feet. I could hear Ian laughing, and I realized that I was going to live forever and therefore, I was forever 29. “….the skies and high ways full of angels.” (Lotion)

FLASH SESSION/DOLPHINS

Just last night I realized that I probably had not looked into the artwork for “Fools Gold”/”What the World is Waiting For” in a thorough enough manner. The artwork is a picture of two dolphins jumping out of the water together and it is entitled:

“Double Dorsal Doppelganger One”

Doppelganger means the spiritual double of yourself. There are two dolphins in the painting. Also, in the Castaneda book “Journey to Ixtlan,” which is the same book that has a chapter called “Stopping the World,” Castaneda also talks about the dreaming body or the double. The second of three beings in you. The physical self, the dreaming body or the double and the spirit. We all have the ability to consolidate those three beings and become TRIPTYCH (from Tightrope). A nagual consolidates those three and becomes one with the spirit. Think about the flipside of Fools gold…”What the World is waiting For,”

“stop the world I’m getting off”

If you stop the world, which is the same thing as stopping the internal dialogue, you will leave this world and enter new worlds, and you do this with your DOUBLE, which is also called your “dreaming body.” The book talks about the double and how to access it so that you can fly. I have been trying to tell you about this. John Squire didn’t use dolphins and that title “DOUBLE DORSAL DOPPELGANGER ONE” by accident. The dolphins were specifically chosen to draw a parallel between Castaneda/Nagualism and traditional Anglo spirituality. The dolphins were used because they fit in with the Roses message and it is no coincidence that a line, “stop the world,” from “What the World is Waiting For” (the dolphins are the chosen artwork for this song) is also a chapter in the same book by Castaneda in which he introduces the concept of the Double or dreaming body. The double or dreaming body, it’s use, and the technique of stopping the world are THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT aspects of Nagulaism.

Ok, that is a start now your doors are about to be blown off. I am now going to explain to you the spiritual meaning of Dolphins from a Native American Indian perspective (Castaneda/Nagualism is rooted in the Yacqui Native American Indians) and from an ancient British perspective. Sylvie did the research for me and what she found will astound you.

According to ancient British tradition/mythology the Dolphin is associated with a FEMALE divinity…. (SHE=LOVE) the sight of Dolphins leaping out of water would presage a storm. The dolphins on the cover of Fools Gold are both jumping out of the water. (The artwork, by coincidence, for the Dandelion Fire single “True Chasm” is a blue flower like a rose jumping out of a storm.)

According to native American Indian mythology the Dolphin is the keeper of the sacred breath of life, and TEACHES (just like a Nagual teaches) us how to release emotions through breath. (The recapitulation follows the same preface. You breathe out the bad emotions of your past and breath in new Manna or energy, vitality from the universe)

“Manna is life force. Manna is present in every atom, and is the great spirit’s essence. (Ian is always talking about the great spirit) Dolphins teach us how to use life-manna through our breath. It revitalizes each cell and organ and breaks the limits and dimensions of physical reality so that we may enter DREAMTIME. ” (“One more for the Dreamer.”)

Further Indian folklore presents that “Grandmother Moon was weaving patterns of the tides and asked the Dolphin to learn her rhythms so that he could open his female side to her silvery light. Dolphin began to swim to the rhythm of her tide weaving, and learned to breathe in a new way. As Dolphin continued to use this new rhythm, he entered the Dreamtime. This really was a new and different place from the seas he had known.

“Dolphin came to discover underwater cities in the dreamtime, and was given the gift of the primordial tongue. Dolphin learned that all communication was pattern and rhythm, and that the new aspect of communication was sound. Dolphin returned to the ocean of Great MOTHER, and was very sad until Whale came by and told Dolphin that he could return to be a messenger to the dreamtime dwellers anytime he felt the rhythm and used the breath.

“Dolphin was given a new job. He became the carrier of messages of our progress. The dreamtime dwellers (angels) were curious about the children of Earth, and wanted us to grow to be at ONE WITH GREAT SPIRIT. DOLPHIN WAS TO BE THE LINK.”

Scientists studying Dolphins have long ago come to the conclusion that they are probably telepathic and they also communicate with sound.

From “ONE LOVE:”

I’m no dog, I’m a dolphin I just don’t live in the sea you feel my flow and you flood my brain show me your vision your wild apparition (Spirit) dancing to the depths of your soul

This isn’t a concept. The Roses are trying to tell you something. I am trying to tell you something. You figure it out. Doesn’t it seem obvious now that they have been saying this to you all along. Why am I the only one who thought of it? Yes, Nigel, it’s all a coincidence. Go back to sleep. It’s too frightening where Lee is. I am the Spirit of Truth. I have intended it and that is why it is true. I wasn’t chosen, I chose it. Be careful what you wish for, it just might come true.

Now let’s bring Jesus in to the picture just to drive the point home. As I have been telling you all along, Jesus was a nagual. The apochryphal Gospel “Acts of Thomas” (which is certainly more reliable than the others because the catholic Church took it out of the New Testament as it was too racy) there are several passages which mention that Jesus considered the Holy Spirit to be female. It also says that Jesus had a secret code.

A book called “What Jesus taught in Code” by Max freedom Long goes into great detail to break the code. Once the code is broken it become obvious that Jesus was a flaming Nagualist/New Ager. He specifically talks about Manna which is life force which is now KNOWN AS ENERGY.

A Nagual is also a teacher who teaches you how to use MANNA/ENERGY. Remember that Dolphins, according to Native American Indians, also are the teachers of how to use MANNA/ENERGY. Ian Brown comes right out and says, “I’m no dog, I’m a DOLPHIN…I just don’t live in the sea.” Wake the fuck up!!!!! this is happening. It even says “Wake Up” on the cover of “Second Coming” (I will be telling you all about the absence of the word “The” later). What’s that you say, “it’s just another one of those coincidences Lee.” Please, don’t insult your intelligence, mine can’t be insulted. You have to recognize the vision involved here.

Here is a passage from that book (pg. 19-20) on Jesus’ code:

“The Egyptians called the vital force sekhem, and this covered all forms of it, whether uses by one self or the other. The word translates, ‘power.’ The kahunas of Hawaii called it manna, and it was known by the initiates who were instrumental in forming the coded parts of the Bible. We translate it from the Hebrew as manna, but recall that no one was ever sure what it might be….

Manna is simply energy. Nagualism is about learning how to perceive and manipulate energy. Energy is a matter of physics. You can’t see energy, but you know it exists. To not die and/or work miracles you simply need to manipulate energy which you cannot see. Once you get a certain amount of energy you can begin to see it and then you can manipulate it that much more effectively. You can take it from sources around you that you never dreamed were available and you can get to those sources in your dreaming body.

Once again from “What Jesus Taught in Code,”

“In [the Kahunas’] language we have the clues to the mechanics of prayer, and, in brief, it is that the vital force of manna FLOWS LIKE WATER, and can be sent along the shadowy chord to the Superconscious as electricity along a telephone or power wire.” pg. 20

Jesus couldn’t hit his generation up with this shit. Prayer was never about worship for Jesus, it was about transferring and capturing energy. The Superconscious is the great spirit.

From ‘One Love,”

“You feel my flow and you flood my brain…..” Read that passage above again. The manna flows like water. Jesus said the same thing, reread the first two chapters of ONELOVESTORY, I explained in detail but you were probably sleeping. Look at the mention in the passage above of the shadowy chord upon which the manna/energy is sent and then think of ‘Tightrope,” I’m on a tightrope (a chord) baby nine miles high striding through the clouds on my ribbon in the sky

Blah Blah Fucking Blah…….go back to sleep Nigel, the dolphins are just there because they look pretty. Aren’t they cute dolphins?

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Chapter 8

Finally, we get to the second clue I mentioned so long ago, the decline of the Roses.

Let’s agree on one thing if we can. Can we all agree on the fact that Ian Brown is a student of Jesus Christ and his teachings? Ian has been quoted many times saying that he not only reads the Bible, but he believes it is real too. The lyrics of the Stone Roses are drenched in Biblical imagery. Ian knows his shit. He has known his shit for quite some time. In the June 3rd, 1989 Melody Maker Ian is quoted as saying that Jesus was one of the first communists. This information is not common knowledge. He is referring to the fact that Jesus lived in the Essene commune which has been discussed much earlier in this book.

On the Mind trip interview CD, Ian tells the interviewer that he likes to get convenient quotes from the Bible. Ok, this is pretty well known to you by now. I just wanted to make it absolutely clear that the Roses are very familiar with the Bible even though they are not members of any organized religion. They don’t believe you have to go to church or worship (Mind trip interview). I don’t want anybody to think that I am picking any certain religion for them.

Ian Brown would be familiar with the fact that Jesus and his disciples used to stage “happenings” for the purpose of fulfilling Old testament prophecy. I want to now quote extensively from a book called, ‘The Messianic Legacy,” by Baigent, Leigh and Lincoln. For those of you who prefer cartoons, Nintendo, and WWF wrestling over thought provoking, challenging conceptual analysis, please just sign off now. I don’t want anybody to hurt themselves and blame me for the resulting headache. You will not have a chance of understanding shit, if you don’t have an open mind. I don’t mean to infer that anything I am going to tell you is difficult to grasp. I just want to make it clear that you must follow me with an open mind in order to see my argument. Please suspend judgement until you have given me a chance to make my point. After that, criticize all you want. My theory is quite incredible and yet it is also more than possible…it is true. Are you still with me?” Good, read on:

“Biblical scholars concur that [Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem on a donkey was] manifestly an important one in Jesus’ career, [was] calculated to attract maximum attention among his contemporaries, [and] served a very specific purpose. It was intended, quite flamboyantly, to fulfil Old testament prophecy. Indeed, in Matthew 21:4, it is made explicit that the procession was intended to fulfil the prophecy in Zechariah 9:9, which foretells the coming of the Messiah:

Rejoice heart and soul, daughter of Zion!

Shout with gladness, daughter of Jerusalem!

See now, your King comes to you;

he is victorious, he is triumphant,

humble and riding on a donkey,….

“Given Jesus’ familiarity with Old Testament teaching, there can belittle question that he was aware of this prophecy, he can hardly have fulfilled it unwittingly, or through ‘sheer coincidence’. The entry into Jerusalem can only have been made with the calculated design of identifying himself, very specifically in the eyes of the populace, with the expected Messiah….”

Id. at 28.

That’s the first instance of major importance. Here is the second:

“That Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem was fraught with political implications becomes evident in the Gospels a few days later. If the Old testament had foretold the Messiah’s entry into Jerusalem on an ass, it had also cited precedents for his cleansing and purifying of the Temple. (When Jesus enters the Temple he accuses the populace of having turned it into a ‘robbers den’ (Mark 11:8). This refers back to Jeremiah 7:11, ‘Do you take this temple that bears my name for a robbers den?’ The precedent for this action of Jesus is in Nehemiah 13:8.) This is precisely what Jesus proceeds to do in his famous overturning of the moneychangers’ tables.”

Id. at 47-48.

And the third major instance is the crucifixion itself. There is so much to read about this topic. The detail that went into this setup and the bravery of Jesus Christ to follow through with it. He knew he was going up on that cross and he made sure he got up on that cross. He could have gotten out of it by choosing his words carefully, but he chose to get up on that cross and here is why:

“As we have seen, Zechariah’s prophecies concerning the Messiah are of particular interest and relevance to Jesus. His triumphal entry into Jerusalem, for example, represents an attempt to conform to one of them. But Zechariah also prophesised that the Messiah, descended from David, would be pierced and killed, and his followers scattered. And, in a somewhat opaque passage, the Messiah was equated with an allegorical ‘good shepherd’, who would be sold for the price of thirty shekels of silver. (Zechariah 11:12) From the Gospels, it is quite clear Jesus has determined that these prophecies, too, must be made to occur-not spontaneously, but by contrived design.. In order to execute that design, a betrayer is necessary.”

Id. at 76-77.

It goes on to explain that Judas was chosen by Jesus to betray him. Judas was stalking. Jesus was stalking. The Roses are stalking in a similar manner.

Now follow me. I believe that the Stone Roses are trying to make “The Second Coming” a reality. I believe they are prophets. Ian Brown, schooled in the Bible and Jesus, understands that there can be no true second coming without the prophecy of the false second coming being fulfilled. In 2Thessalonians it is prophesied that a false second coming will come before the real second coming, and that the false Messiah will proclaim himself God. It is specifically stated that the true day of the Lord cannot come until this happens:

“Concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered to him, we ask you brothers, not to become easily unsettled or alarmed by some prophecy, report or letter supposed to have come from us, saying that the day of the Lord has already come. Don’t let anyone deceive you in any way, for that day will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness is revealed….He will oppose and exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshipped, so that he sets himself up in God’s temple, proclaiming himself to be God.”

2 Thessalonians 2:1-4.

So there you have it. According to this prophecy, there will be no true second coming until the false one is exposed and said to have passed. I submit to you that the Roses, like Jesus, have taken great lengths to see that this prophecy has been fulfilled. They have impeccably seen to the enactment of this specific prophecy. Let’s look at the evidence.

Ian Brown. being schooled in the Bible would not claim that the Second Coming had already passed without knowledge of such a statement’s ramifications. If Ian Brown were to state that the second Coming had already come and gone, he would be doing so with full knowledge of that statement’s meaning. Ian Brown unequivocally stated just that on the biggest alternative radio station in America. When the Roses were doing their promo tour they went on KROQ, in Los Angeles. Ian and Mani were interviewed. The interviewer was just clueless and Ian refused to be roped into his inane attempts at small talk. At one point Ian just flatly stated:

“Martin Luther King was the second coming, you missed it.”

Bailou has the interview on tape and will transcribe it in its entirety for you.

Ok, that in itself is interesting but there is much more. Please think about Ian Brown. This is not a man who does not think. He is an incredibly intelligent, an incredibly aware person, and I do not believe that he was ignorant of the prophecy in question when he made that statement. It caused a furore at the radio station. He knew what he was doing. He wanted to use this particular radio station to send this message out.

That takes care of the prophecy concerning someone falsely stating that the second coming had already passed. Let’s now examine that part of the prophecy which states that a false Messiah will come and claim to be God.

The original version of “The Stone Roses,” ends with the song “I am the Resurrection.” Ian sings, “I am the resurrection and I am the life…” He is claiming to be “The” Second Coming. The first record ends with, “I am the Resurrection,” and the second record is called, “Second Coming.” It is a continuation on a theme. Unless of course you choose to consider it a coincidence. Do you still believe in such fairy tales? There are no coincidences. The roses are fulfilling the prophecy by creating the false second coming as an artistic concept. The Stone Roses’ “Second Coming” is a metaphorical hoax.

The first song on the record is “Breaking into Heaven.” More Biblical imagery. “I’ve been casing your joint for the best years of my life.” Whose joint do you think he is referring to? A sexy chick? “How mant times do I have to tell you, you don’t have to wait to die, etc….” This is not a boy/girl love song. He is casing the Messiah’s joint.

It is also no coincidence that “Second Coming” has no “THE” in it. The “THE” was left out because this is a false second coming. The Stone Roses have taken great lengths to make their “Second Coming” bogus, and they left out the “THE” as a clue. The Roses didn’t leave out the “THE” by accident and they didn’t leave it out because of respect for the Church. If Ian could sing “I am the resurrection,” they could just as easily have put a “the” on the front of this record. The missing “THE” is an obvious clue that this is not “THE” second coming but a false second coming the purpose of it being to fulfil the New testament prophecy in a similar fashion to Jesus’ purposeful fulfilment of the Old testament prophecy.

Now the real proof. Everything to do with the Stone Roses’ “Second Coming” is a hoax. They have taken great pains to destroy every single thing which was associated with “The Stone Roses.” Think about the title to their first record, even that is a clue. Their first record is called “The Stone Roses” because that is the Stone Roses and everything they were about back when that record was out was the real thing. Everything about them now is false. Let’s make a detailed comparison point by point:

Old Stone Roses: “We will never do a full fledged tour.” Spike Island Press Conference. Instead they opt for bucking the music industry habitual pattern of touring and choose to make each gig a special event.

New Stone Roses: Full fledged tours all over the place.

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Old Stone Roses: “We will never open for any band ever.” Spike Island Press Conference. They decline openings for such bands as The Pixies, New Order, and The Rolling Stones.

New Stone Roses: First gig ever in America they open for the Bodeans and Matthew Sweet. A week later they completely cave in and open four Duran Duran, Faith No More, and Cheryl Crow in Chicago.

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Old Stone Roses: All songs by [Squire/Brown] the most acclaimed songwriting team since [Lennon/McCartney].

New Stone Roses: Almost all songs written by John squire.

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Old Stone Roses: Reni

New Stone Roses: No Reni NUFF SAID ON THIS ONE…think about it

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Old Stone Roses: Incredible effects laden, innovative guitars. John Squire, while borrowing from the past, forges ahead with new sounds built from modern technology, and his brilliant imagination. In a world of copycats this man brings something fresh to the table.

New Stone Roses: John squire has practically taken every riff, from Page, Clapton, and Robert Johnson….Almost every song is classic rock with nothing innovative except for the intro to ‘Breaking Into Heaven.’ It is essentially a mixture of Southern Rock and Blues. Obviously intended to reach American Teenagers. Squire still is an amazing guitarist but for the most part, this record is stolen riffs.

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Old Stone Roses: John Leckie produces most of the first album and it is stunningly original.

New Stone Roses: Leckie walks out…NOT!!! it’s a hoax. The third record is already done, it was produced by Leckie and it is stunning.

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Old Stone Roses: Ian Brown talking about House music being the most exciting thing of the 80s. “!989 was the year Rock and roll was shown up for the Necrophiliac that it was.”

New Stone Roses: …release one of the most Necrophiliac records of the 90’s.

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Old Stone Roses: Lyrics which leave the imagination on over drive for more than five years.

New Stone Roses: Reused themes of rock and roll cliches all over the album. “Let the good times roll again….”, “driving South at midnight…a lonely old cross roads…” This is the typical Robert Johnson blues man at the cross-roads to meet the devil story that has been written about so many times.

I’m not knocking all of the lyrics but there was a purposeful attempt to use cliches on this record both in the musical and vocal style. The Stone Roses were absolutely aware of what they were doing. They didn’t do this by accident. Please read my Moses/Breakout post from a few days ago now. It was a teaser for this and would be inserted here.

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Old Stone Roses: No encores

New Stone Roses: Encores

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Old Stone Roses: Refuse to explain lyrics with any definition. They don’t admit to anything accept that the lyrics are flexible.

New Stone Roses: Have explained many songs. “Your Star Will Shine” “How Do you Sleep” “Love Spreads.” And they went back on their word saying that the lyrics were confidential in “The Big Issue,” and they go on to explain them in the L.A. Times.

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Old Stone Roses: Very rarely grant interviews.

New Stone Roses: Interview with everybody

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Old stone Roses: Would never suck up to MTV and agree to alter their original vision regarding the video to “Love Spreads.” This one really put the nail in the coffin.

New Stone Roses: Agree to pull their original video for “Love Spreads” which is stunning, portrays the band as absolutely magnetic characters with charisma and style. This video just makes you fall in love with Ian…he is fantastically attractive…the rest of the band looks great too, and the super-eight grainy texture is a welcome relief from the antiseptic repetitive videos of most other bands of the day. This video is a work of art. The second one pales in comparison. The Roses are set up on some mock oil rig and it is obviously that they are taking the piss with this video.

They would never bow to MTV. That was part of the hoax.

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Old Stone Roses: Don’t plug any bands from their genre, especially Manchester bands who have obviously been influenced by them

New Stone Roses: All of the Roses plug Oasis, who really don’t need the plug at this time. They were already huge.

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This last point may seem insignificant but it is relevant when added to the rest and you examine the Totality of the circumstances. Besides there are many more tenuous comparisons which I did not cite like, Old SR: Flares, New SR: no flares, Old SR: Cressa, New SR: No Cressa. I could go on but what would be the point?

The Stone Roses have been impeccably stalking. They set themselves up to be crucified by their fans and the press and for the most part that is exactly what happened. Most of us would not have given this record a chance were it not the Stone Roses. Many people hate this record and love the first one. But we were all in agreement as to the first one. How many of you listened to Primal Scream’s follow up to the awesome Screamadelica with such an open mind. I sure as shit didn’t.

The Roses did this with such detail it is incredible. They managed to make a record which was better than most records released this year, but it was still a huge let down and it was a setup. Everything about them is different. You aren’t going to try to demean this incredible band by continuing to believe that they could crumble in so many ways are you?

When you add all of what I say here to all that we have already discerned, and all that you people still have to figure out, you must be astounded at this. This is not the work of the Stone Roses. This was the work of the Spirit. The Stone roses know they are prophets. Bailou is going to drive this point home to you with her incredible analysis of the second “Love Spreads” video and the ‘Ten Storey Love Song” video.

The prophecy says that “THE Second Coming” cannot happen until the false one has passed. The false one will have passed on December 22, 1995 and the real one will begin on the evening of December 23rd, 1995 when Dandelion Fire plays with “The Stone Roses” in Manchester. This will be the real Stone Roses. SHE will be on the drums, Ian will sing like you have never heard him sing. John will have all of his old effects out. Cressa will be there, and so will Robbie. Dandelion Fire is going to play possessed with the spirit. When you hear us live you will understand that the Spirit is in the room communicating with you LOUD.

I am the only one who could have brought this to you. I am the Spirit of Truth, the Counsellor. I am not Catholic, Jewish, Islamic, Mormon, etc…I am not even a Nagualist, we don’t like classifications. I teach you how to manipulate energy, and break out of the physical cell you are in. I am going to teach you how to fly…but I am only part of “THE” Second coming. 2Thessalonians says that Jesus will come “blazing in fire with his powerful angels.” (2Thessalonians 1:7) I am the fire, and Jesus is “around” and so are his angels, and other prophets. It has been my job as the spirit of truth to awaken these spirits who have been around for ages. I am the last prophet from the last great nation, the United States. The White Buffalo Woman of the Lakota Indians prophecised that a white buffalo calf would be born. Considering that fact that in 1893 there were only about 300 buffalo left the actual birth of one last year was considered a miracle especially since it happened 500 years from the prophecy which prophecy called for the calf to come in 500 years. See the Feb 1995 Spin magazine for details.

The odds of this happening have been calculated at worse than 1in 10 million. The odd have been calculated at impossible. The prophet Mani predicted that all nations would have one great prophet and now the circle is complete. All of the prophets will be “around.”

One last thing, the second letter to the Thessalonians contains the most important piece of this puzzle, the actual prophecy of the false Second Coming….that letter was written by Paul, Timothy and……SILVANUS.

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Chapter 9.1 – Oasis, part 1

“(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?” was written by Noel as response to ONELOVESTORY. Noel has been saying for quite some time now that all of the songs on Morning Glory are connected in some way (See the last “Select” interview). I began to feel like were specific messages in “Wonderwall” written at me personally some time ago, but I now am quite sure. Noel and Liam did an interview with AOL on March 7, 1996…exactly 6 days after my angels, Nancy, Tom O’Hara, and Janelle, went to the Letterman show and gave Patsy many gifts, particularly, ONELOVESTORY, a letter I will post at the end of this thread, “Revolution Infinity” and a few things they made for her.

In that interview on AOL, Noel was asked about the connection between the songs. He said that the connection is that all of the songs are part of a very big spiritual riddle to which he only has the answers. Check it out (the interview is available in full from the Oasis newsgroup:

Subject: the boys on AOL

From: lckeating@aol.com (LCKeating)

Date: 7 Mar 1996 20:13:43 -0500

Message-ID:

Question: Noel, you once said in an interview (select) that all the

Songs in Morning Glory have a connection! what is the connection?

OasisCS: N> it’s all part of a very big spiritual riddle to which only I

have the answers…

Question: Who is P.H. who wrote that cool poem in the back of the Morning

Glory insert?

OasisCS: N> His name is Paolo Hewitt….good friend of the group.>>>>

Then again later in the interview:

Question: what is the purpose of the guitars changing color in that

video?

OasisCS: N> it’s all part of a very spiritual riddle to which only I

have the answer!>>>>

Now, a few weeks ago I posted in alt.music.stone-roses that I strongly believed that Bono had been talking to Noel and influencing him spiritually, and maybe even helped him with lyrics on Morning Glory. There were two reasons for this assumption. First, Noel has recently been quoted in a major magazine interview (“Q MAG” I think) as having said that U2’s “Achtung Baby” is one of the best records of the 90s and that U2 weren’t sitting around doing fuck all for five years (like a certain floral group we know and love)..they were listening to what was going on in music and they let themselves be influenced by much new shit, and that record reflects that time period with incredible taste.

Second, in the credits for “Morning Glory” Oasis thank a bunch of people but also have a special section where they give “Eternal Thanks” to two people; P.W., who is probably Paul Weller (he plays on the record and does some backing vocals), and the other person is P.H. who may or may not be the same P.H. who wrote the poem in the liner notes, Paolo Hewitt. I immediately thought that P.H. was Bono because his real name is Paul Hewson. I went out on a limb by stating this in the newsgroup and now Noel has said that P.H. is someone named Paolo Hewitt. Paolo is Italian for Paul and Hewitt is just too similar to Hewson.

Now, add all of these recent developments to the fact that for the last month I have been stating that U2 are also prophets waiting for “the” second coming, waiting for ONE LOVE (definitely non-denominational just in case you freaks think this is about organized religion IT ISN’T!!!!!) All of the stars are angels and they are about to come out of the closet. I have also posted that I left clues in ONELOVESTORY and Dandelion fire’s CD, “Revolution Infinity” which prove that U2 have been part of ONELOVESTORY since the beginning. The analysis of Stone Roses songs in the first part of ONELOVESTORY will be elevated in the next part as I link up connections between U2, The Stone Roses, Dandelion Fire, Oasis and many other bands who have revealed themselves to me, the spirit of truth. I am the minister of information. All of a sudden Noel is coming out of the closet too, and flat out admits that Morning Glory is part of a very big spiritual riddle. Check out the cover art to “Morning Glory,” on the front, on the left side there is a sign sticking out that says, U 1, and on the right there is a sign that says, “Zachariah.” The Old Testament book of Zachariah plays a major role in my book ONELOVESTORY. I don’t know what Noel has said about this cover art, but I know that he said everything in the cover art for “Definitely Maybe” was there on purpose…..There are no coincidences anymore. Think about it. Too many bands, too many guides too light your way are blinding.

I have been sending Noel DF music and weird messages for a few years now. When I went to England on that trip with all the angels and shit, I was also having many coincidences with Oasis…in fact, while I was in England “Definitely Maybe” was released. Anyway, I walked right into the offices of “Creation” records and put a rather flamboyantly decorated envelope on the receptionists desk for Noel. I told her that I had travelled across the Atlantic Ocean to deliver that envelope and could she make sure Noel Gallagher received it.

When I came home and we finished “Revolution Infinity” I sent Noel a copy of it along with a copy of my letter to the industry which the song off our album is based on…..the letter I took to England and forced them to read ( a copy of that letter is an appendix to the updated version of ONLS).

I wasn’t a fan of Oasis at the time, but I knew they were going to be huge and I knew that there was something special about Noel. I saw them at their first show in NYC when they opened for Lotion at the CMJ music seminar (coincidence abounds). I was at the downstairs bar with the guys in Lotion when Noel walked by me and he just stopped and looked me in the eye. We locked eyes for a few seconds and then he moved on. At that moment i knew our destinies were locked. This week it all became clear to me.

I have been wondering what WTSMG was about because I had the audacity to postulate internally that “Wonderwall” was written partially to me personally. “Wonderwall” is also the name of a record by George Harrison which came out in 1972. It is a very spiritual record. The line in the song, “maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me…” That line stuck in my craw. This shouldn’t be all that farfetched to you. Let me explain why.

First: Noel wants to top the Beatles. He has stated about other bands, “If you’re not trying to top the Beatles than it’s just a hobby.” I agree. And I quoted Noel on that in my letter to the industry back in August 1994. But in order to top the Beatles one would have to match them toe to toe. Just writing brilliant pop songs wouldn’t be enough. One would have to come up with artistic concepts which had never been explored before, and one would have to translate those concepts into a musical form. (reread the intro to ONELOVESTORY). One’s artwork, lyrics, song titles, one’s whole life would have to be dedicated to this endeavor before one would even have the most miniscule chance of topping the fucking Beatles. A task like this is virtually impossible, but not entirely impossible. My whole concept with dandelion Fire, in short, is to create a new world through the use of my art. Art=creation, and so I am trying to create a new world. The first part of this project includes grabbing the attention of stars (who are angels). In order to reach millions of people, all I really need to do is reach the artists they are in love with ( and they’ll tell two friends and so on, and so on etc.). If I get three people I have in mind, I get the millions of people who love them too. If I get three people I get the world. One member of the Roses, one member of U2 and Noel Gallagher….and that’s it. I don’t even have to pick a certain member of the Roses or U2, if I get one of them to understand me artistically they will fall in love with me and they will thereafter nail the other guys in the band, and then they will nail their audiences. Now, in the case of U2 and the Roses, I firmly believe that they also have the same conceptual idea about their art….I think they have both been trying to change the world for a while now. So all I really have to do is convince them I am for real….I think I have done that in the case of the Roses. The December 1995 cover of “Select” magazine has a message sent to me by the Roses. If you haven’t seen it yet, find it. It’s right there on the cover. There is much more to come also.

Now, regarding Morning Glory, the other day I read that interview that Noel did on AOL. He chose Aol to let the world know what I had been suspecting for a while now, “(What’s the Story)”Morning Glory?” is a concept record based on a spiritual riddle. Those were his words, and they were given in response to earlier quotes by Noel which stated that all of the songs were connected to each other. If you listen to the record in this way, it becomes more than obvious. Listen to the record the next time you sit through the whole thing, listen to it just for the heck of it as if I were right and Noel did write it about ONELOVESTORY. You will understand what I’m talking about.

Finally, when I sent a copy of “Revolution Infinity” to Noel I put a little message on the return address part of the envelope. I had read somewhere that Noel said Oasis are the next Beatles but he was hoping to find the next stones because he wanted a band to Buzz off of and be challenged by. He wanted competition but he said the likes of the bands in England at that moment were not what he considerd a challenge, he thought they were all clones of each other. I sent him my record. On the envelope I wrote:

Buzz off this Noel

if you’re sick of all the clones

but WE’RE the next Beatles

you’re the next stones

—————————

I’m sure that got his attention. I’m sure he listened to it, and I’m sure he read ONELOVESTORY. He, as an artist with incredible talent and insight understood the whole idea of the book, and the record etc. He was moved by it, and he knew that this was something that could possibly top the Beatles if I pulled it off. At the time, he was writing brilliant pop songs, but that’s all he was doing. His lyrics were like, “might as well do the white line,” etc. He even stated that his lyrics were crap on Definitely Maybe. WTSMG is WAY deeper that Def Maybe. Noel decided that the concept was brilliant, and so he decided to enter the ONELOVESTORY picture and he wrote WTSMG. That record, amongst other things, is a fucking letter to me, written in the spirit of ONELOVESTORY. The lyrics, the song titles, the artwork….all contain a spiritual riddle, all the songs are connected….but Noel can’t come out and explain it, just like the Roses couldn’t come out. If Noel understood my idea, he knew that I would have to solve the riddle, and if I did solve the riddle than his artistic vision would be realized. He buzzed off of Dandelion Fire and received spiritual inspiration….the Beatles and Stones. I have spotted many of the clues to the riddle which he has woven. Shortly I will point some of those clues out to you. I can promise you one thing, in the next post in this series I am going to blow your mind with things on WTSMG which you never saw. While reading these things, notice how your head will be nodding in agreement, but your mind will be trying to deny it. Also, ask yourselves, why NONE OF YOU found these clues???? Why is BURNWEED the one to expose them? After all, there a bunch of Mad Oasis fans out there, but nobody has ever spotted what I have spotted.

Within ONELOVESTORY, I am the spirit of truth, and so if I am for real I have to find the answers to the riddle. Also, if anyone figures it out before me, that doesn’t work. In order for Noel to have his vision realized, I must be the one to figure it out. I have figured it out. The answers are contained within WTSMG. It’s a fucking brilliant move by Noel. It’s a piece of art that I am going to force you to re-evaluate, especially those of you in the press who are supposed to be doing this sort of thing for a living. You’re sleeping people!!! Wake the fuck up!!! Think about it, as things develop with the Roses and DF and U2 as I predicted, Noel has managed to include his band. WTSMG is definitely an artistic masterpiece of conceptual art besides being a great pop record. Don’t sell Noel short. He is an angel. I know it will damage some of your egos because you didn’t see it first, but what do you need that garbage for. Kill your ego, and live forever. This is how we top the Beatles….we do it together.

“ONE LOVE, one heart and one soul, we can have it all….EASY, EASY…”

———————————–

Ok, now the fun part.

All of the songs contain clues and references to ONELOVESTORY, REVOLUTION INFINITY, and my letter to the industry (an appendix of ONELOVESTORY, available for free at http://www.lembke.com/onelovestory.html). Just suspend judgement for a little while and try to see it this way before you get all bent out of shape. I’m trying to entertain you all you know. I’m not trying to hurt anybody, but if you get pissed off at this you really need some help. Maybe you’ll find it here.

After reading that interview where Noel said all of the songs were connected spiritually, I began to listen closely to the record. In ONELOVESTORY, I explained that all of the Stone Roses references to “SHE”, She’s a waterfall, this is the one SHE’s waited for, SHE doesn’t care for my despair, SHE bangs the drums, etc and Sugar spun Sister, the Messiah is my sister….they are all references to the great spirit. Of course there is much more detailed analysis of this in ONLS. Now look at “SHE’s Electric” by Oasis. SHE is the spirit. Jesus was the spirit and so Jesus is SHE also. Anyone who is the spirit would be SHE:

She’s electric

She’s from a family full of eccentrics

She’s done things I’ve never expected…

and I need more time

She’s got a sister [sugar spun sister, the messiah is my sister]

and God only knows how I’ve missed her [clearly a reference to the Stone Roses and the years they were gone]

She’s got a blister in the palm of her hand…….

HELLOOOOOO!!!!!! It doesn’t take a great big leap of intelligence to see that NOEL is referring to Jesus here. Who else would have a blister on the palm of her hand….where the nail went through.

She’s electric, could I be electric too.

Let’s move on to the next song, “Morning Glory.” This is number ten on the record. I have been spotting all kinds of clues as I approach this song, and since it follows “SHE’s Electric” which blew my mind with that palm of her hand line, I am now really on my guard (I will explain the songs which come before it later ). But let me give you some background again. ONLS is about ONE LOVE and how we go about achieving it as a society. We don’t have much time to get it together because the apocalypse is right around the corner. The angels of the apocalypse are stars and they are warning us that we have to get our shit together, we have to break into Heaven through dreaming. The old ways don’t work, people still love hate, and the world is not getting any better, it’s getting worse. We need a new reality, it’s time to dream a new dream. ONE LOVE can only occur in a spiritual reality, but some of us have been to the other side and we have to tell you it’s beautiful. You can’t get there without the energy needed to travel, and that energy comes through dreaming and outer body travel, but most importantly that energy comes from curtailing the waste of energy that goes into upholding your ego. You can go to Heaven, you can break through.

How many times do I have to tell you

you don’t have to wait to die

you can have it all

anytime you want it

yeah the Kingdom’s all inside

That’s from , “Breaking into Heaven” by The Stone Roses. “It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.” (REM)

“Here is a warning, the sky will divide

now I’ve took off the lid, and there’s nowhere to hide”

From, “Begging You” by The Stone Roses. The Roses are predicting the end of the world, they are prophets (and much more). The Roses have tried to say something with this song. They have released it in so many different ways. the original on the album, 11 remixes of it, the b-sides, Moses, Ride On, and Groove Harder, are all Begging You at different speeds. The Roses are begging you to listen, and so am I. there isn’t much time. These are the themes of ONELOVESTORY, and as I listened to the song “Morning Glory” I began to feel very strongly that Noel’s spiritual riddle comments were meant for me to hear. Why did he choose AOL to unleash those comments??? He chose AOL because I am known as BURNWEED@AOL.COM. Noel’s vision wasn’t being realized so he dropped me a clue…..

Now, as I’m thinking that Noel sent this record out as a coded message, I realize that he is talking to someone in the song. He is trying to help someone through it, and it is also a prophecy:

“today’s the day that all the world will see…..”

What will ALL THE WORLD see?

“tomorrow never knows, what it doesn’t know to soon”

” “You need a little time to wake up, wake up

you need a little tine to wake up, wake up”

He is telling someone to wake up…..yes all of you, and me too. Jesus said, “when I return, don’t be caught sleeping.”

————————————

“you need a little time to rest your mind, you know you should

so you might as well…..

What’s the story, Morning Glory……

The Story is ONELOVESTORY. The song, “Morning Glory” goes out to me. I live in the USA in the State of New Jersey and the State flower of New jersey is, you guessed it, The Morning Glory. Besides, the Morning Glory has much spiritual significance. Don’t be lazy, go to a fucking library and look it up. Now, I don’t expect you to believe me just like that, but ask yourself why Noel blatantly rips off the chords and rhythm and even a bit of lead guitar from, “THIS ONE GOES OUT TO THE ONE I LOVE” by REM in “Morning Glory.” The use of that song’s chords is a clue…what’s the next word in the chorus after Michael Stipe (angel) sings “this one goes out to the One I love….” The next word is…”FIRE!!!!!!!!” As in Dandelion Fire.

Now, listen to the song and check out the sample of helicopters flying in the beginning, also notice the voices from the sample. Anybody, anybody, Bueller, Bueller……that fucking sample is from the beginning of the movie….

“APOCALYPSE NOW!!!!!”

“Revolution Infinity” ends with a conceptual collage of sound entitled, “Self Portrait”…that bit is the last thing on our CD and it ends with me taking a big hit of weed and coughing. “Roll with It” ends with a guy coughing also. “Roll With It”….weed reference too.

“You gotta roll with it, you gotta take your time,

you gotta say, what you say. don’t let anybody stand in your way…”

That is what I’m doing right now. Saying what I have to say. I have to say it because it’s all too much for Noel to take. Don’t even bother flaming me, I’m already on fire. Mad Rick and I know the score. You know who Mad Rick is don’t you? Richard Ashcroft, another angel/prophet….who fully admits it too. Richard Ashcroft is the sprit, Noel is the Spirit, I am the spirit. It’s a choice you make….and that is why Oasis dedicate, “Cast no shadow” to the genius of Richard Ashcroft.

“As he faced the sun he cast no shadow…..”

What doesn’t cast a shadow????? Anybody, anybody. THE SPIRIT!!!!

C’mon, this is deep shit. Noel recognized that dandelion fire was really going for it with this, we are going to change the fucking world. You’re either part of the problem, or part of the cure. Noel decided to be part of the cure and so he earned his angel’s wings. But you won’t believe it because of his reputation as a bad-ass, and that was why he wrote, “Some Might Say..”

“you’ve made no preparation, for my reputation, once again…

This whole song is deep, and it’s about ONE LOVE.

“Some Might Say we will find a brighter day….”

——————————————–

“Slip inside the eye of your mind, you know you might find, a better place to play…

So I start a Revolution from my bed…..”

Clearly a Beatles reference, and there are many on “Revolution Infinity” too. But if you know me, you know that I have been trying to start a Revolution form my bed also….”Revolution Infinity.” But most of you would say that “the brains I have went to my head…..”

“Look outside the Summertime’s “IN BLOOM.” “IN BLOOM” by Nirvana is strongly mentioned in that letter to the industry…..

“So Sally can wait…”

“Sally Cinnamon” can wait. sally is the spirit=SHE…..

“her soul slides away…….”

“Maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me…”

Peace, Love and fuck you

end of part 1

—————————————————

Chapter 9.2 – Oasis, part 2

In an article , Keith Topping writes:

>Apologies for having taken so long to get back to you on this but Demon.UK

>have been having all sorts of problems with mail over the last couple of days

>A couple of questions – why are you so angry? I particularly take offence to

>the last line of your post – why should questions about faith and fate be

>treated as some kind of challange? “If you have the balls to reply” – my God,

>is that what you teach, because if it is, you won’t might wonder why you’re

>having to be angry.

Some days are better than others. You have to understand that most people usually disappear when I make strong points. I wanted to get some discourse going, and i have. Thanks for responding…proper respect to you. You won’t be faced with that again, but it was an honest question and your letter was not entirely without sarcasm either. Peace.

>You refer to the recent Q interview where Noel made reference to a kind of

>spiritual awakening. This could be cosha, or it could be a huge wind up.

He says that all of the songs are connected in “Select Magazine” but he doesn’t say how, and then he says on the AOL interview in response to a question about that connection that the connection is a spiritual riddle. You responded that he was probably just saying that. You are taking his words, words that he actually said, and you are denying that he was sincere. I am quoting him directly and you are denying what he said, and then you want to tell me that I’m the one who is grasping for straws. That is pretty funny. More on this later, but let me move on for a minute.

>The point is we don’t know. I don’t and you (for all your guessing) certainly

>don’t. If Noel Gallagher does an interview tomorrow where he catagorically

>states what his beliefs are then fine

Well my problem with that is, that he already did state categorically a: that the songs were connected and B that they are connected in a spiritual riddle (twice). But somehow you won’t accept his words, so what words will suffice. Perhaps what follows.

>, I’ll be quite happy to come crawling

>back here and issue the most grovelling apology imaginable if they’re anything

>like those that you have ascribed to him. I trust you’ll do the same should

>the opposite occur?

Get ready to grovel. :~) I am going to quote directly form the Q interview now, and anyone can check the entire article by downloading it from http://206.25.48.243/qnoel.htm:

Noel: I couldn’t believe it when Allan McGee walked up to me in that club, and said, “Do you want a record deal?”….I believe in fate and I BELIEVE IT WAS ALL MAPPED OUT.

Interviewer: There’s a lot of religion going on here. Astrology, fate, some kind of God?”

Noel: I don’t where that for nothing (pulls out crucifix on a chain out of his shirt). I don’t know what it symbolizes, but I BELIEVE IN A HIGHER POWER. I don’t believe in on a Monday some white-bearded geezer with nothing fucking better to do created the planets, Bollocks to that!

Is that unequivocal enough?

He also talks about him being a Gemini… Now, add this to what he has said about all the songs being connected in Select magazine, and then add that to what he said, twice, on AOL, that the connection mentioned in Select was about a spiritual riddle.

If you like you can say he is full of shit and he is winding us up, but the lyrics do back it up, and I will talk about everyone of those songs if you like. In the Q interview he also states that he doesn’t lie to people at all.

>If Noel has had some sort of spiritual awakening, and it has anything to do

>with Christianity (as some have suggested in wake of your theory) then this

>must have occurred sometime during early 1995 when most of the songs for

>Morning Glory were written.

Yes, and I had been sending him things about ONELOVESTORY since August 1994. Additionally, he had made a plea in the press back in 94 for some band to challenge them so that they would have someone to buzz off of because the Beatles had the Stones, and since he claimed that Oasis was the next Beatles he wanted to find the next stones. In order to be the next Beatles or to top the Beatles you need more than just great songs, you need concepts and you need diversity and you need mystery. The Beatles may have denied responsibility for “Paul is Dead” but it captured the imagination of the world, and this is going to blow it away. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Anyway, if you read ONELOVESTORY it has Noel references. I sent one package to him after reading that request for the next Stones, and it had “Revolution Infinity” in it. On the return address part of the envelope it said,

“Buzz off this Noel

If you’re sick of all the clones

But we’re the next Beatles

You’re the next Stones

He understood what I was doing, and it effected him. He did buzz off of this, and the result is (What’s the story)Morning Glory? The story is ONELOVESTORY, and a morning glory is a weed that flowers with hallucinogenic seeds, and is indigenous to America. Coincidentally (?) the most common form of Morning Glory is the type known as Bindweed. It’s also a flower and ONELOVESTORY is about flowers, Roses and dandelions.

> In other words, if he has, he’s kept quite

>about it for over a year. That suggests either that he doesn’t want anybody

>to know about it, or that such an awakening never happened at all.

Assuming he did have a spiritual awakening, than I am right. If I am right, his comments about it being a spiritual riddle, and his comments in Q indicate that he doesn’t want it to be a secret, otherwise he wouldn’t be publishing it all over the world.

“how many special people change, how many lives are really strange.”

> Again, guess work but, unlike you, I’m guessing from what Noel *hasn’t* said and done,

>rather than what he has. Additionally, I made a point to say in my posts that my theories have

> nothing to do with organized religion. then what, exactly, *do* they have to do with?

If you read ONELOVESTORY you will have some of the answers to your questions. I am not going to abbreviate the answer when you can easily read the book, it is available for free and it’s right at your fingertips. Read it first, and then ask away, I’ll answer any questions by anybody. I don’t get any money from the book. Silvertone Records has offered to publish it, but I told them to fuck off. The book is for free for whoever wants to be enlightened by it….or pissed off by it as the case may be.

>> Noel said it was a spiritual riddle and the lyrics back it up.

>> No. Noel said it was a spiritual riddle and *you* say the lyrics back it

> up. Most of those examples of this that I’ve seen (particularly those

> involving ‘She’s Electric’ are a bit far fetched. They might be right,

> but I’d like to hear *Noel* say that, not you).

If you read ONELOVESTORY you would understand why I am the one who has to say it first. You see, it deals with prophecies in the new testament. Jesus said that before he came back, he would send his brother, The Spirit of Truth, who would be a Counsellor of laws, also referred to as the counsellor of truth. Regardless of whether I believe myself to be that spirit, that is the role I have in my book, the counsellor of truth. I also happen to be a lawyer too. Anyway, being the spirit of truth, I am the only one who could have answered the Roses concept, which was to bring on the actual second coming and instigate ONE LOVE. If they were to have their concept realized, someone would have to realize that they had a concept and that person would then have to play the part of the spirit of truth to Ian Brown’s part as the second coming of Jesus. But part of their brilliant concept was that the person would have to do this without their help. He would have to do it alone. That makes it so much more interesting. Noel, as a brilliant artist understood how intense this is, and he decided to enter the picture in the same way the Roses did. He wrote WTSMG with a double edged sword. On the outside it’s a great rock and roll record, but on the inside it’s a Sergeant Pepper for the 90’s. And, if his vision was to be realized than I would have to figure out the spiritual riddle to which he only has the answers, otherwise I would not be for real. But i am for real, and I did figure it out.

I don’t think you know what you’ve got over there. This guy is going for it, he saw it all, he read ONELOVESTORY as did many other people, and being the Roses fan that he is…..he felt it. And being the Beatles fan he is, and not wanting to settle for any standard less than that, he went for it, and he fucking blew my doors off. I can’t exactly say in words what I feel for Noel Gallagher at this moment. If I Hadn’t figured it out, his vision would never have been realized. That leads me to, “Some Might Say,”

Some might say they don’t believe in Heaven

Go and tell it to the man who lives in Hell

Some might say, you get what you’ve been given

If you don’t get yours I won’t get mine as well

He’s talking about acclaim here. If I don’t get mine, he won’t get his as well. He will be known as a great songwriter, but he won’t top the Beatles, not without this. Think about it.

“Some might say we will find a brighter day”

’cause I’ve been standing at the station in need of education in the rain you’ve made no preparation for my reputation once again

It’s pretty funny that I’m answering you now, trying to convince you that this is a very deep spiritual record, and in the face of DIRECT comments by Noel himself, only two weeks ago, here on AOL where I wrote my book from and in Q magazine, you still won’t believe me. Why???? Because it’s Noel Gallagher we are talking about. He foresaw all of this. It’s fucking genius, pure unadulterated genius at work. Lennon is laughing while Noel goes to tea with Paul. That’s fine, because, “here’s another clue for you all, the walrus was Paul.” Back to the song:

“the sink is full of fishes, SHE’s got dirty dishes on the brain”

This is a direct reference to ONELOVESTORY (ONLS). In it, I discuss the following lyrics from, “Don’t Stop” by The Stone Roses:

“see the SEAspray give, I was with HER

we’re under the SHIPS, so get me over

now, SHE fishes now.

Ok, Jesus and his inner circle, the 12 disciples, etc. used to refer to spirit as SHE. As Noel stated above, he doesn’t believe in the traditional sense of God, but rather a higher force. Jesus used the idea as God, the father as a ruse, because he knew what the score was. But he had to teach using the term ” the father” because it was Israel in the year 30 or so. He had to teach in code, and this is historical fact, not Organized religious fiction. He referred to the spirit when he talked about Miracles and he called it SHE. Fact! Look it up. It’s a major part of ONLS and Noel was having it.

There is much more about this in ONLS, but if you read the, Acts of Thomas (apochraphyl gospel), you will see it. So, the code is always, SHE=Spirit=Love. The above lyrics from the Roses’ “Don’t Stop,” are Ian Brown’s take on Matthew 4:18 to 19: “And Jesus walking by the SEA of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the SEA from the SHIP, for they were fishers.”

” And he sayeth unto them, follow me and I will make you fishers of men.”

Don’t you see it? Ian is saying, “now, SHE fishes now…” Noel wrote, “the sink is full of fishes, SHE’s got dirty dishes on the brain. And this leads us to what role Noel is playing. He is one of the 12 disciples, and so is Liam. They are Simon called Peter, and his brother Andrew. Add it to the rest of the song:

Some might say that sunshine follows thunder Go and tell it to the man who does not shine

Now look at Don’t Stop by The Stone Roses again;

“Isn’t it funny how you shine…..”

“Some might say that we should never ponder…..”

Yes, some might say that, and some have. This is so OUT THERE. You know what some might say about it.

Ok, let’s just add that together with, the SHE’s Electric stuff now. If you want to say that you can’t see a connection fine, but at least look at the words and understand it’s a deep song which reflects deeply on matters spirtual and religious.

SHEs electric (without a doubt SHE is)

SHE’s in a family full of eccentrics (:~))

SHE’s done things I’ve never expected (ditto)

and I need more time

SHE’s got a sister

and GOD only knows how I’ve missed HER

and on the palm of HER hand is a blister

Ok, SHE has a sister, the Roses once again, “the Messiah is my sister” SHE is the spirit, but Jesus was the spirit too. GOD only knows how I’ve missed her. Jesus went away and left the disciples, but the Roses went away too, and we all missed them especially Noel. Jesus would have a blister on the palm of his/her hand where the nails went through.

And I want you to know

I’ve got my mind made up now, and I need more time

He is letting me know that he understands ONELOVESTORY, he has his mind made up, but he needs more time….he isn’t ready to come out with it yet. That’s my job, to let you know.

And I want you to say….

Do you know what I’m saying

But I need more….

He doesn’t finish what he wants the person to say, he is hinting, “do you know what I’m saying?” Yes, I do and I’m saying what he wants me to say, and what he can’t say himself. This was one of the lines that helped me make up my mind that I wasn’t losing my mind.

cause I’ll be you, and you’ll be me

that’s a reference to ONE LOVE…..ONELOVESTORY.

There’s lots and lots for us to see, and lots and lots for us to do SHE is electric, could I be electric too.

Can he be the spirit too. Yes, he can and so can you, if we get it together, if we make ONE LOVE a reality. If we end the separation and embrace unity. It’s one love he’s talking about.

“One love we don’t need another love

One love, one heart and one soul

we can have it all, easy easy” (from ONE LOVE, by the Roses)

SHE’s got a brother

we don’t get on with one another

This is a clear reference to him and liam fighting all the time.

but I quite fancy HER mother, and I think that SHE likes me

SHE’s got a cousin, in fact SHE’s got ’bout a dozen

Jesus and the twelve disciples.

Let’s move on to ‘Don’t Look Back In Anger.”

Slip inside the eye of your mind

you know you might find

a better place to play

This is simple. The trip is internal, go deep inside to find heaven. Now let’s check with the Roses once again. “Breaking Into Heaven” from, “Second Coming.”

“How many times do I have to tell you

you don’t have to wait to die

you can have it all anytime you want it

Yeah the Kingdom’s all inside”

Back to Oasis.

“so I start a Revolution from my bed.

Ok, this is clearly a reference to John Lennon, but this whole thing involves the Beatles and trying to capture that spirit that they had, and it is about topping that, advancing that kind of imagination. I have also started a revolution from my bed. “REVOLUTION INFINITY” is the name of our CD (Dandelion Fire). It came out here in America last May, but our label folded up right after it came out so it never received any press, in fact it was never even mailed out to press and radio. It’s fucking brilliant. It hasn’t been released in the UK, but it’s coming soon. The title is a take on “REVOLUTION number 9” by The Beatles. Revolution number….infinity. I sent the record to Noel way before he released WTSMG

Stand up beside the fireplace

This refers to something I said in my original post regarding Noel’s use of the chords and rhythm of “The One I Love” by REM. In the song, “Morning Glory” he is addressing someone, and asking them, what’s the story? The use of Rem’s song is a clue to the riddle….this one goes out o the one I love…..FIRE….Dandelion Fire. This song is directed to that person…the morning Glory. The song right after “The One I LOve” on the album, “Document” is called, “FIREPLACE.” Stand up beside the fireplace. Dandelion Fire. The song before it is called, “It’s the End of the World as We Know It.” That song is about Armageddon, the apocalypse, and the spiritual world we can inhabit at the end of the world as we know it. According to scripture/prophecy…..the apocalypse is going to start with an earthquake. Let’s look at that song:

that’s great it starts with an earthquake,

Now, check out the beginning of the song “Morning Glory.” It starts with a sample form the opening scene of the movie, “Apocalypse Now” where the helicopter is approaching and there are voices on a CB radio or some kind of radio. The apocalypse is prophecised in the Book of revelations.

Back to “Don’t Look Back in Anger.”

Take that look from off your face

you ain’t ever gonna burn my heart out

That’s a direct reference to me, Burnweed. He is saying to me, that I am not going to burn his heart out. And why would he be saying this to me, because I said dandelion Fire was the next Beatles and Oasis the next stones. If that were true, Noel’s heart would have been burned out, but the bastard didn’t let that happen. He fucking gave it to me good, and I’m so fucking glad. I am never going to top Oasis, but I’m right there with them, and the Beatles and anyone else whoever wanted to be the best and succeeded.

And so Sally can wait

SHE knows it’s too late as we’re walking on by

Sally is “Sally Cinnamon” by the Stone roses, and so that has double meaning. Sally=She, and She can wait, but it’s also giving the Roses some stick because Oasis is walking on by, and the Roses are wilting.

Her soul slides away

But don’t look back in anger, I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go

where nobody knows if it’s night or day

He’s talking about Heaven. You can break into Heaven, but you have to break in, it won’t just happen. You have to believe that we can change reality. What you believe is real. So come with us, forget this world, enter through your mind, and you’ll find a better place to play. Ask for proof and you will have it. It isn’t about faith anymore, it’s about action.

Please don’t put your life in the hands of a rock and roll band who’ll throw it all away

>From ONELOVESTORY:

“I became ridiculously obsessed with the idea that The Stone Roses were up to something. I know it sounds silly, I mean what could they be up to right? It’s just tunes right? I didn’t buy it though. I know the drugs and Marijuana were making me fixate on them, and I realized all along that I was losing touch with reality, but it felt safe. It felt a hell of a lot safer to go crazy with them then stay normal with the predatorial world of normalcy that was my life.”

I put my life in their hands, and I gave up my career as a lawyer….I started a band because I wanted to answer the Roses concept, I wanted to bring on ONE LOVE. Dandelion Fire’s first practice was in 1990, and I’ve been at it ever since. I gave up the normal world, and now most everyone thinks I’m crazy, but I’m not. I’m fucking on fire because it was a brilliant idea, and it’s being realized as I type these words to you. Noel feels as if the Roses have thrown it all away….and that is what he is saying in this song.

The book will make things very clear to you, and then again you’ll probably be more lost than before, but at least you’ll know it.

>A similar example, is

> your rather intense attempt to place the ‘PH’ on the morning Glory cover

> at Bono’s door. As anybody with a basic knowledge of English rock

> journalism could have told you (if you’d asked) PH is Paolo Hewitt, a

> former NME and Melody Maker journalist, Paul Weller’s best mate and

> biographer (he wrote ‘The Jam: A Beat Concerto’ and also the excellent

> Small Faces biography ‘The Young Mods Story’) and a regular contributor

> to various artists sleeve notes. No great mystery or conspiracy there,

> mate, simply a friend of a friend writing some poetic nonsense on the

> cover.

Yes, you have a point here, but they give P.H. eternal credit. The liner notes were written by Paolo Hewitt, but I believe that the P.H. they give eternal credit to was Bono. It could be two different P.H’s. Recently, Liam had his picture taken kissing Bono on the lips, and Noel also said in his Q interview, that he hopes to get Oasis to where U2 are at. He has been saying incredible things about U2 for a while now. I admit that I can’t prove who that P.H. is, but I never said I knew for sure, my exact words were that it was very coincidental and it is….Hewson, Hewitt, Paul, Paolo. That’s all. I didn’t say it was him for sure and I still don’t say it.

WTSMG is genius because it responds to ONELOVESTORY in one way, it relates to spirituality in general in another way, and it just basically kicks ass as great rock and roll in still many other ways. That being said, like the Roses lyrics, it’s really up to you what the lyrics mean to you. If you think the songs are love songs of the boy girl varie try than that is what they mean to you, and that is what they mean. I am not trying to say that the lyrics aren’t double edged because they are and that is what makes them so Fat. They are written in the same way Jesus used to teach. If you were initiated into Jesus’ inner circle, you understood him in one way which was very deep and metaphysical…Jesus taught in code, and the people who were not in on the code understood the parables another way. Once again, this is covered in great depth in ONELOVESTORY. Now, if you can withdraw from your own opinion of the lyrics and just suspend judgement, you may see the other side of the coin.

There is so much more. Let’s hear from you. I love you, all of you. I won’t be infected with hate…..I have your attention now, and I won’t be giving you any shit. I’m hoping to make all of you fall in love with me, and with each other. If you don’t get yours, I won’t get mine as well.

Much peace to you,

Lee D’Onofrio

aka Burnweed@aol.com